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How do you readjust your attitude?

Virgo17Virgo17 member
in Working Moms
I'm fine with the kids, but DH has been getting on my last nerve.  I feel like he can't do anything right due to my own irritability.  I am being a raging b@%$*, but it's like I cannot snap out of it.  I am not good at putting on a happy face if I am grouchy or tired and unfortunately DH gets the brunt of that through no fault of his own.  

Last night he climbed into bed and was trying to cuddle and I felt like I just could.not deal.  All I could think about was how tired I was and how the baby would be waking up soon if I didn't get to sleep.  I basically blew him off and felt bad so tried to be nice this morning.  Then he called me about something this morning and I lost my cool again even though it was NBD.

Do you ever feel like you have no control over your emotions?  Sigh...maybe I'm just PMSing hardcore or something.  Or maybe misplaced anger due to stress/exhaustion?
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Re: How do you readjust your attitude?

  • mlee116mlee116 member
    Been there!  Usually for me its definitely either PMS or stress.  When I'm like dealing with it, I'm honest with myself and DH about what's going on.  I tell him not take my bad attitude personally.  And I try really hard to monitor my reactions and what I say.  It's hard, but if I really think it out before I just spout off, it avoids a lot of tension.  

    What about a date night or just having some one on one time together?  Or even just sex.  It is a great stress reliever!
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  • Jills83Jills83 member

    I get this way sometimes too.  It bothers me that I seem to feel more of the stress of the "working family" life than he does and it gets me in a bad mood.

    Maybe you should plan a date night.  Or have some mama time where you can de-stress and relax while he stays home with the kids. 

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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    How old is your DD? I remember being like that a lot when DD was a baby. I had PPD, which was part of it, but also I was really "touched out" by the end of the day and just wanted to be left alone in quiet!
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  • Virgo17Virgo17 member
    jellybean529 said:
    How old is your DD? I remember being like that a lot when DD was a baby. I had PPD, which was part of it, but also I was really "touched out" by the end of the day and just wanted to be left alone in quiet!
    She's almost one, but has been an inconsistent/crappy sleeper her whole life.  My two older kids were STTN by 3-4 months, so I think sometimes I just feel like I'm at my wits end.  

    I can definitely relate to the "touched out" thing.  As soon as the kids are in bed DH wants a hug/kiss or to lounge on the couch together.  By that time, I've had kids hanging on me for two hours and I need a breather.  I don't think he gets it because they don't cling to him as much.

    DH and I do get a fair amount of a lone time together.  I think what I am lacking in is my own personal alone time.  Apparently, I just need that on a more regular basis that DH does.  But I also think I feel the responsibilities of being a working mother moreso than he does being a working father.
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    @virgo17 Yeah...my DD was a crappy sleeper too. Didn't STTN until she was almost a year old. 

    Can you carve some alone time into your work day? I used to take my lunch break and sit outside or put headphones on and listen to music and just regroup. Or go shopping. Or anything that got me out of the house and office alone for 30-45 mins. And then ate at my desk while I worked. 
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  • mlee116mlee116 member
    Virgo17 said:
    jellybean529 said:
    How old is your DD? I remember being like that a lot when DD was a baby. I had PPD, which was part of it, but also I was really "touched out" by the end of the day and just wanted to be left alone in quiet!
    She's almost one, but has been an inconsistent/crappy sleeper her whole life.  My two older kids were STTN by 3-4 months, so I think sometimes I just feel like I'm at my wits end.  

    I can definitely relate to the "touched out" thing.  As soon as the kids are in bed DH wants a hug/kiss or to lounge on the couch together.  By that time, I've had kids hanging on me for two hours and I need a breather.  I don't think he gets it because they don't cling to him as much.

    DH and I do get a fair amount of a lone time together.  I think what I am lacking in is my own personal alone time.  Apparently, I just need that on a more regular basis that DH does.  But I also think I feel the responsibilities of being a working mother moreso than he does being a working father.
    These make a huge difference.  DS was an awful sleeper until he was one and it was so hard on me.  I was exhausted all the time.  And since I nursed, I was the main one getting up with him.  I was resentful because DH would be all rested and I'd be exhausted, then he'd want to stay up late when I just needed sleep.  I finally just told DH I couldn't do it anymore and he had to get up with DS and that I didn't want to be woken up unless there was an emergency.  When I finally got some decent sleep, it was like night and day.  

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  • Virgo17Virgo17 member
    CTGirl30 said:

    Does your H help out at night when the baby wakes up?

    Not really.  She doesn't settle easily for him and he sleeps like a bear.  So by the time I have kicked him out of bed I am awake.  He will step in when I ask him, but sometimes I feel resentful for having to.  I don't want to make him sound like a slacker because he more than pulls his weight in other areas, just not this one :(
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  • MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    Virgo17 said:
    CTGirl30 said:

    Does your H help out at night when the baby wakes up?

    Not really.  She doesn't settle easily for him and he sleeps like a bear.  So by the time I have kicked him out of bed I am awake.  He will step in when I ask him, but sometimes I feel resentful for having to.  I don't want to make him sound like a slacker because he more than pulls his weight in other areas, just not this one :(

    This is my husband. Makes me nuts. If we didn't have good sleepers, I think it would lead to death or divorce. Seriously. Had to kick him so hard to wake him up 2 nights ago, I was afraid I would leave a bruise. But we had 2 crying kids at 1:30 am, and I needed his help. Literally lifting his arm up and letting it fall won't wake him up. By the time he woke up, I was seething.
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  • jtmomma13jtmomma13 member
    edited June 2014
    I find myself like this as well. We recently moved into my parents house while we look for a house to buy and it's a bit of a longer commute in the morning for H.Which means I  no longer have help in the morning. And sometimes I resent that as LO has been waking up at 4AM and he won't go back to sleep unless I am holding him...so I sit in a rocking chair until 6AM basically M-F. It wears on me for sure.

    I think it's a combination of stress and tiredness in general. And maybe it would help to talk to your H and pick a night and decide that he needs to be the one to get up with LO that night. In my case it wouldn't help much with sleep because even when H wakes up with LO, I lay in bed awake but it might make you feel a little less annoyance with him. 
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