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August 2014 Moms
chase16
member
breach of etiquette, shower-related
chase16
member
So a few months ago, FI's aunt mentioned to us that she'd like to do something shower-like for us, like a luncheon or similar. She never mentioned any dates or details, and after she brought it up the first time, she never said anything else about it.
A few weeks ago, we finally told the rest of his family that we were expecting, and his sister offered to throw us a shower. To be honest, since we hadn't heard anything from FI's aunt in a few months, I just assumed that she had either forgotten or decided she couldn't/didn't want to do it for whatever reason. (That may sound like a dumb thing to assume, but I have 2 sets of friends here who also offered to throw me a shower.. And then haven't mentioned it again. One in particular actually set a date.. For next weekend.. But now she's going on leave and hasn't mentioned it since lol). So I've kinda been operating under the assumption that people offer to be nice, but don't actually want to follow through.
Anyways, last weekend his aunt texted him about my theme for the shower.. I thought she was asking about the one his sister was throwing us, and didn't really think anything of it. And then she texted again, upset, because she found out about the other shower (which we thought she knew about).
Now I feel like a terrible person (and gift grabby) for not telling her about his sister's shower.. But I really didn't think she planned on throwing us one! That's not really the kind of thing you leave until someone's 8 months pregnant to start planning.. I should have asked his sister about it when she offered.. But tbh I'm very uncomfortable in those situations and didn't want to be like "hey, do you know if your aunt is planning to throw us a shower? Cause she mentioned it once." I guess I thought that would make me sound gift grabby/selfish too. Plus I didn't want to embarrass his aunt if she was not planning to throw us one. I know this all sounds stupid.. And I'm kicking myself.
What do I do? I apologized to his aunt via text.. But I still feel bad.
A few weeks ago, we finally told the rest of his family that we were expecting, and his sister offered to throw us a shower. To be honest, since we hadn't heard anything from FI's aunt in a few months, I just assumed that she had either forgotten or decided she couldn't/didn't want to do it for whatever reason. (That may sound like a dumb thing to assume, but I have 2 sets of friends here who also offered to throw me a shower.. And then haven't mentioned it again. One in particular actually set a date.. For next weekend.. But now she's going on leave and hasn't mentioned it since lol). So I've kinda been operating under the assumption that people offer to be nice, but don't actually want to follow through.
Anyways, last weekend his aunt texted him about my theme for the shower.. I thought she was asking about the one his sister was throwing us, and didn't really think anything of it. And then she texted again, upset, because she found out about the other shower (which we thought she knew about).
Now I feel like a terrible person (and gift grabby) for not telling her about his sister's shower.. But I really didn't think she planned on throwing us one! That's not really the kind of thing you leave until someone's 8 months pregnant to start planning.. I should have asked his sister about it when she offered.. But tbh I'm very uncomfortable in those situations and didn't want to be like "hey, do you know if your aunt is planning to throw us a shower? Cause she mentioned it once." I guess I thought that would make me sound gift grabby/selfish too. Plus I didn't want to embarrass his aunt if she was not planning to throw us one. I know this all sounds stupid.. And I'm kicking myself.
What do I do? I apologized to his aunt via text.. But I still feel bad.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: breach of etiquette, shower-related
Could you say that you thought the aunt and sister were working together?
I would be like you, too uncomfortable to ask if they still planned on throwing one.
4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN