Annoyed by comments... — The Bump
Adoption

Annoyed by comments...

So it's only Tuesday and 3 times this week I've already had coworkers ask me when we are having kids/why we dont have kids yet? For some backround, we have been married 1.5 years and I'm late 20s. I get they are just being friendly but I still think it is kinda rude to assume and ask these questions. Who knows- maybe I look pregnant and that's why they are all asking. But still, I don't really feel like sharing our adoptions plans with co-workers I barely know(at least not until they are more concrete) and I don't think it's their business.

Am I being too sensitive? Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Re: Annoyed by comments...

  • Get used to it. It's just the beginning when it comes to kids and parenting. When you get married, people start asking when you're going to have kids. When you have one, they ask if/when you're having another. If you have just one sex, they'll ask if you want the other, or when you'll start trying for that boy/girl.

    I had people at work ask if I even liked kids, offer to slip me fertility drugs (they worked with a client who manufactured them), and a few other things I don't even remember. Come up with a non-committal answer ("Why do you ask?" "We're just enjoying married life right now" "When I have news I'll let you know", etc) so you can just pull it out at the appropriate time.

  • NextChapter24NextChapter24
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited June 2014

    @ Dr.Loretta- Thanks! I know I shouldn't be annoyed by it as it's just a normal question, I guess it was just the 3 times asked already this week!

    I usually just answer with "yes, we are planning on having kids" and do not give them anymore information which kills the topic pretty quickly- at least it did today.

     

    Wow @ the fertility drugs! I can't believe some people!

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  • Sorry that you had to go through that.  I get that a lot too- Just last week I got some of the comments  No one offered me drugs like Dr. Loretta but they asked me why we didn't have kids yet.  When I said "some day" they said I was young- and asked how old I was. When I told them I was 30- they kind of looked around awkwardly. (I guess I look young? That's silver lining right)

    Also- Darn Dr. Loretta- I was hoping that adoption could be the end of these awkward conversations.


    image

    "Even miracles take a little time"


  • The user and all related content has been deleted.

  • I've worked at my company for 7 years and I'm now 38.  I think  people pegged me as someone who didn't want to have children, so when they here we are trying to have a bio and becoming foster parents they are shocked.  Drives me batty.  They don't seem to remember that I was divorced and 28 and didn't remarry until I was 35...and that maybe, just maybe I'm having problems.  People just don't think beyond what they see.

    If I'm in a good mood, I let it pass...if I'm feeling cranky, I will ask an equally rude question back.  (Not my most shining moments!)

     

  • ... Just try not to strangle anyone. 
    Amen sister!

     

    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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