Stay at Home Dads? — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Stay at Home Dads?

Hey Guys!

Sorry for the post and run but I'll be back after work to check on it.

My husband and I are debating on him accepting a job or staying home with our daughter. Long story short his contract ended with the navy in april and he's been staying home with our daughter (born in January) while I've been working. Now that he has found a job, we are at a loss as to if he should accept the job or stay home with our daughter. My paycheck will more than cover our expenses.

Just looking to get some perspective from any stay at home dads.

Thanks!
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Re: Stay at Home Dads?

  • The answer would be the same if you were staying home.  Will his new job be his career or just a random job to get him out of the house?

    If it is not a career path and he is happy staying at home I would suggest that.  If this is what he wants to do as a career, I would have him take the job.

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    simesime13
  • My wife stays home and we love it. It's been shown that over a certain income (75k from when I read the article, which is probably the amount to cover expenses) a person's level of happiness doesn't increase. It sounds like you're fine financially. If your husband takes care of the house so you can just come home to family time rather than chores I think you'll love it. If you still come home to chores because your husband treated the role as a permanent vacation you will probably hate it. I say go for staying at home, but both of you should talk about expectations. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and he finds a different job.
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  • I'm a part time stay at home dad and I feel like I have been blessed to have the opportunity to spend so much time with our son and watch him develop and learn new things every day.

    My wife works full time and has a fantastic career with great benefits. I own a small business and can work from anywhere as long as I have a phone and internet. I work out of my home office several days a week to keep him with me. We also have a family friend that watches a couple other children in her home that watches him a couple days a week or if I need to meet with a customer.

    You would be amazed at the number of conference calls I am on and the number of other professional men that are doing the same thing primarily because our wives carry our health insurance through their work or they are essential to their company.

    There are pro's and con's to keeping the little one at home. The pro's are obvious. The con's are not so obvious sometimes. The nice things about him staying with someone else with other children  are he will learn to be comfortable with someone other than us taking care of him and hopefully that will help him not to have separation issues later on. He also has other babies to play with and watch (he is the youngest of the ones at his sitters) so he will be able to see them doing things like crawl and play and want to do the same. It also helps him to be socialized and not be afraid of places other than home with us.

    I would say let him stay at home for a year and see how it works but look into options of having someone else as either a backup or just to give him a break a day or two a week. See how it goes and if it's not working out, then find a more permanent solution.
    Proud 40 year old, first time daddy!
  • To follow on what spotco said we put our son in Mother's Day out one day a week for the reason's he mentioned. I highly recommend doing something similar.
  • After childcare is paid for, will he have much of anything left from his paycheck left?  If the answer is no, then you really need to assess his reasoning to return to work, is it because he feels as a guy he's expected to work?  Does he want out of the house?   If the answer is yes, you still need to figure out why... but at least you know that there will be money coming in from his job.  Is this going to be a career path, or is this simply something to get him out of the house?

    If he just wants some time to himself, maybe find a place that will watch her one or two days a week, so he can do something else than be Mr. Mom like spotco said.
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