Hey all, it's been a minute!

Pamelacake · June 2014

A lot has happened and we are grateful for the good and the bad.. it's bittersweet in a way but it's turning out for the best. I'll save the dramatics but I do want to thank everyone for advice I was given here in the past. The best advice ever was to not engage and I know there were more ppl telling me not to but justj's advice sticks out to me the most. Thank you sooo much! We haven't engaged and it usually works.

I haven't been here in a while just came back a few days ago and was lurking on the posts with new babies. I didn't want to jump right in without a re-intro and well, didn't really have time to stay and type anyways.

So.. short version of update, we still have the same C/O that was put in place about a yr ago. (supervised visits, at our home, or at park, supervised by us and 2 phone call days a week) I know, not ideal. We weren't able to get a 3rd party supervisor.

DH cut his hours way back to deal with BM and that helped me so much, especially with the somewhat difficult pregnancy I was having. It's very easy to deal with now since not responding to the negative or just crazy things. DH has just recently picked some hours back up along with a promotion...Yay! We could definitely use the extra money and benefits.

SD's, now 6 and 7 are doing exceptionally well considering how all of this could be and is effecting them and are both still in counseling, which BM still has no interest in being a part of.

New Baby: I had so many concerns of how SD's would react. They were both very excited while I was pregnant and showed much interest. They are ecstatic that she is here and I am a breastfeeding mother but they are included as much as possible and, well.. they try to do more than I allow with LO being so small. lol. I am having a bit of concern with 7yo SD, she acts like she is fine but I see right through that.. and she now has some issues with the fact that she didn't come from my stomach, I try to reassure her by telling her it doesn't matter, I still love her the same as if she had. 6yo SD, our bond has gotten stronger.

I'm sure I left a lot out but just wanted to check in and re-intro with a short "how we're doing" before jumping back in. Thanks again for all of the previous advice (=

ambrvan · June 2014

So glad things are settling with you and that your DH has stepped up. That's a huge milestone!

It's such a wonderful feeling when we figure out how to create a little peace within ask the chaos. It makes everything so much easier. And when you disengage, it makes it so much easier to see how some things really are so insignificant that they don't need a response.

Glad LO is doing well! What about the older kids?

Pamelacake · June 2014

Thank you and yes, it made a huge difference. It is definitely tough at times with some of the things BM says, but we just document and move on with our day.

I realized I didn't mention the older kids after posting. SD19 comes over more now, she still lives with her bf and his parents and everything seems to be going well with them. We just celebrated her birthday at their house last weekend and it was nice to kind of get to know them. When SD comes over she is still in the "mommy role" mode and I am now comfortable telling her "that is not how we do things now".

SS17 is well.. a teenager. lol. He still has anger issues but a little less, he has not even held LO yet, he does talk to her, he is very protective of her but he says he is afraid to hold her with her being so little.

SS14 has always been somewhat affectionate towards me, since LO has arrived that has become more. DH and I have talked about the changes and we think SS is now completely comfortable in feeling that I am not just going to leave them or treat them differently, I think he was a bit scared when I was pg b/c I was always in pain, sick through the whole pregnancy and was a bit moody to say the least.

DS11 loves LO to pieces as well but thinks he can get away with more. lol... kids. So I have to get onto him a little more now. Ex. brushing his teeth.. I didn't have to tell him to brush his teeth before, he would just do it, now I have to tell him a bazillion times and end up watching him to make sure it actually happens.

DD14 can't get enough of LO and with her being my first born, I thought she might have some issues with not being mommy's little girl anymore but that isn't the case at all. I got out a bunch of her baby pictures to compare their looks and she loved that.

Overall.. not the perfect family and very crazy/hectic/busy at times but it's definitely worth it!

freeatlast2014 · June 2014

7 children?! God bless you!

+just+j+ · June 2014

Happy to hear it. Glad my advice helped. Good luck and I hope you have continued positive change!

Pamelacake · June 2014

his mine and ours! I'm not a super hero but we make it work. lol.

Thanks J and yes.. we aren't completely there yet but things keep looking up. There are and always will be setbacks but dealing with them in a positive manor has made a huge impact!

Pamelacake · June 2014

Yup, baby makes 8. Crazy hectic busy here but I do love it. eeer.. who am I kidding.. I need a vacation. lol. I still love it though (=

& Thanks. We still have a lot to work on with the kids and the age ranges but .. we're making it. DH is now working on being more consistent with things so we stay on the same page. They like to try to play us against each other a lot. They will usually ask me for something as soon as DH steps out the door to run an errand or something and I'm just like well, we'll talk to dad about that, he'll be back shortly. lol.

Want a personalized experience?

Hey all, it's been a minute!

Re: Hey all, it's been a minute!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards