NPR-need some potty training advice/encouragement

Raesofsunshine1 · June 2014

For awhile now DD has occasionally said "potty" and Id sit her on it and she had only gone once in about a month. I wasnt really working with her because I was going to wait until our summer trips were over-one is next week and the other the first weekend of August.

Yesterday, she said "potty" so I put her on and she went. She ended up going three times. After her nap, it went down hill and had 3 accidents in her "big girl panties" so I gave up for the day and started fresh today. She went on the potty first thing this morning and so I put her in underwear again. Shes had 3 or 4 accidents already.

I ask her every 10-15 min if she needs to go and she will say no, but then have an accident soon after.

Do you think shes just not ready yet? Or do I keep trying today? I put her back in a pull-up for now. Any advice? Im at my whits end already and the day has barely started.

ETA: she is 22 months.

AppleGrapeMSTK · June 2014

Never ask if she needs to potty. Tell her it's potty time and put her on the toilet. DS has been accident free for a week now, so we are officially calling it good. It helps being pregnancy because I would put him on the toilet every time I have to pee- which is a lot. We also stuck with diapers for naps and overnight for a long time, just in case. We didn't use pull-ups, either. We just unvelcroed his diaper a lot.

Try really hard to not get upset when there are accidents. Just put her on the toilet, even if she already peed it all out, and tell her that pee goes in the potty. I saved my super awesome YAY YOU WENT POTTY praise for when he puts himself on the toilet and goes.

It honestly took us FOREVER to potty train. We bought the potty chair when he was sleeping dry through the night at 18 months and occasionally put him on, but it wasn't until his 2nd birthday that we started being more consistent, even though it wasn't all that consistent. Four/five-ish months later, we are in underwear 24/7.

However far you get with her, it's totally normal for kids to regress and start having accidents again once a baby arrives. Good luck!

BeanNut · June 2014

I would keep trying every 1-2 hours and reinforcing when she is successful but keep her in pull-ups until you think she is ready to stay dry without too much help. With DD1 we had about 3 months of daycare having her go potty and us having her go potty until we felt she was really ready to move into underwear. When she transitioned to underwear (about 29 months), she had a few tough weeks (including one where we were on vacation-probably not a coincidence). She has been trained for a year now and never has accidents and doesn't need reminders to go.

My DD2 is almost 22 months and she has gone a few times on the potty but she has trouble sitting still more than about 10 seconds so we'll be waiting a little longer with her!

ETA: My kid was fully trained at 29-30 months but that is a little on the early side. Some of her friends are still wearing pull-ups at 3-3.5 years. You know your kid best and if she'll be ready soon!

wildflower75 · June 2014

I'm sorry I don't have any concrete advice but I would definitely consult the Potty Training Board.

Emerald27 · June 2014

22 months seems so young to me, but every baby is different and some are ready early.

What I would do is keep her in diapers, but still let her go sit on the potty when she asks. Maybe when she wakes in the mornings and from naps, ask her if she would like to sit on the potty. Make it more about how cool it is to use the potty sometimes and less about going to the potty to avoid peeing on the floor/ in her undies.

ETA: take my advice with several grains of salt. I'm mom to a happily diapered 2.5yo boy. We're not going to even try potty training until after baby arrives, since most children do regress with the change. He can sit on the potty if he wants, but I'm not going to push it just yet.

Raesofsunshine1 · June 2014

@Emerald27‌ I dont know if she really is ready! Im just assuming because she has begun to show an interest.

Emerald27 · June 2014

Raesofsunshine1 said:
@Emerald27‌ I dont know if she really is ready! Im just assuming because she has begun to show an interest.

Interest is great and a first step, but alone doesn't necessarily imply readiness. Does she show interest in you and DH using the potty? Want to watch? Does she still have wet diapers after naps and when she wakes in the morning? When she poops, does she go off by herself to do it or show preference for privacy in some way? Does she tell you when she has peed/pooped in her diaper, express discomfort or ask for a change?

Readiness is as much psychological/emotional as it is physical, but we can't forget the physical part. She might be interested in being a big girl, but still lack the muscle control to hold it for a potty break, and to RECOGNIZE the need to go before it's too late.

ETA: Keeping it positive and low pressure while you observe her for all the signs of readiness might make the potty training experience easier for both of you. It's possible that after baby comes and DD moves past the stage of wanting to be your "baby" again, and gets to wanting to be the big helper sister, that she will initiate potty training more forcefully herself, to distinguish herself from her diaper-wearing baby sibling. ...that's what I'm hoping for from DS. FX!

Liss1481 · June 2014

A lot of the potty training books have quizzes to help you figure out if they may be ready or not (physically, mentally). Might be something to check out. The "No Cry Potty Training Solution" (I think that's what it's called) helped with DS although we didn't start with him until he was almost 3. Pull-ups definitely did not work for him - he just treated them like diapers.

Raesofsunshine1 · June 2014

Emerald27 said:

Raesofsunshine1 said:
@Emerald27‌ I dont know if she really is ready! Im just assuming because she has begun to show an interest.
Interest is great and a first step, but alone doesn't necessarily imply readiness. Does she show interest in you and DH using the potty? Want to watch? Does she still have wet diapers after naps and when she wakes in the morning? When she poops, does she go off by herself to do it or show preference for privacy in some way? Does she tell you when she has peed/pooped in her diaper, express discomfort or ask for a change?

Readiness is as much psychological/emotional as it is physical, but we can't forget the physical part. She might be interested in being a big girl, but still lack the muscle control to hold it for a potty break, and to RECOGNIZE the need to go before it's too late.

I dont think she has ever woken up completely dry. Some diapers have been dryer than others, though. I can tell when shes pooping but I think with the pee she isnt able to hold it in yet.

I think now that everyones helped me out, I may just keep her in pull ups and put her on the potty occasionally or when she asks but wont push it for now. This is actually a relief. I wasnt wanting to start yet anyway!

Emerald27 · June 2014

@Raeofsunshine1 I have some friends with older kids who swear by naked potty training. They say that big boy/girl underwear feels enough like a diaper that they forget and have lots of accidents, but that if she let her kids hang out pantsless (or in pants but commando), they were much more aware of the need to go and had far fewer accidents.

It's not for everyone and certainly not for every baby, but I'm strongly considering trying it with DS. Our only issue as of now is that DS actually hates being naked (weirdo). He begs for a new diaper as soon as he's out of the bath. Lol

Liss1481 · June 2014

Emerald27 said:

@Raeofsunshine1 I have some friends with older kids who swear by naked potty training. They say that big boy/girl underwear feels enough like a diaper that they forget and have lots of accidents, but that if she let her kids hang out pantsless (or in pants but commando), they were much more aware of the need to go and had far fewer accidents. It's not for everyone and certainly not for every baby, but I'm strongly considering trying it with DS. Our only issue as of now is that DS actually hates being naked (weirdo). He begs for a new diaper as soon as he's out of the bath. Lol

****Trapped in quote box!****

We did underwear or naked training (depending on what DS wanted to do that day), and it worked great. Clean-up for a few days was rough but overall worth it. He's in underwear and 99% accident-free during the day although still gets a diaper at night.

pnwlover12 · June 2014

Nicb13 said:

Emerald27 said:

@Raeofsunshine1 I have some friends with older kids who swear by naked potty training. They say that big boy/girl underwear feels enough like a diaper that they forget and have lots of accidents, but that if she let her kids hang out pantsless (or in pants but commando), they were much more aware of the need to go and had far fewer accidents.

It's not for everyone and certainly not for every baby, but I'm strongly considering trying it with DS. Our only issue as of now is that DS actually hates being naked (weirdo). He begs for a new diaper as soon as he's out of the bath. Lol

So does DS! He screams if I try to get him to sit on the potty and although he loves helping me go pee and wiping me, he is just not interested right now and I'm ok with that.

Count another screamer for my DD. She will be 3 the end of October and I am feeling the pressure to get her potty trained. She wants nothing to do with it. We've gotten her to sit on her special potty chair a grand total of 2x without screaming, but no action. It feels wrong to try to force her to sit down on the toilet so I've just been trying to go with the flow. We even bought her the "princess potty" book (which is terribly nauseating to read haha) and while she loves the book, she doesn't want to use the potty.

CheesyPeas · June 2014

I highly recommend naked training if you think she has the control and interest level. DS was in full time underwear before he was 2 becuase we decided to casually try naked training after he showed physical signs of readiness, and he picked up on it right away.

Does she tend to hold her bladder for a few hours at a time? If so, she probably has the physical readiness, and I think you should give naked training a try. For DS, we just said "uh oh, you're going pee pee" or something anytime we noticed he started having an accident and then we promptly move him to a little potty. He pretty quickly realized when he was having an accident and would say "uh oh" himself. And whenever he would actually do something on the potty, we would cheer for him and act like idiots, and that was amusing enough to make him want to do it more. Had it not, we might've resorted to M&Ms or something.

We mostly just did naked training in the evenings when we got off work, and it clicked for him within a couple of days. I fully admit that we had the easiest kid ever to potty train, so I don't know that naked training is the magic ticket but I think it's certainly worth a shot, particularly since it isn't really much messier than cleaning up messes for a kid wearing underwear. Except for the poop.

Mommy2Boys09 · June 2014

DS2 shows interest about once a month or so. Sometimes it's just one time go to the potty, sometimes it's a whole day he wants to do it. He started again a few days ago and is doing really good, so I think he may finally be ready. I'm going to try but also try not to force it.

vrj0522 · June 2014

Our doctor gave me some tips on how to tell when kids are ready to be potty trained.

1) They are uncomfortable being wet/soiled and like to have their diaper changed

2) They show interest in the potty

3) They tell you when they have gone and many times they will tell you before they go

4) They can hold it and might wake up from naps dry

I think this is a lot of what Emerald had said but I was starting to think of potty training and based on the list, I know DS is definitely not ready. He still fights me to get his diaper changed and although he tells me when he is about to poop, he doesn't mind having a poopy diaper on. We are going to wait for now. He is 25 months.

Raesofsunshine1 · June 2014

Thanks everyone! Im definitely thinking she is interested but quite possibly not really ready.

I really wanted to get her potty trained before the baby gets here but I guess its not that big of a deal if I dont. Im just really really dreading the whole process!

pnwlover12 · June 2014

Raesofsunshine1 said:

Thanks everyone! Im definitely thinking she is interested but quite possibly not really ready. I really wanted to get her potty trained before the baby gets here but I guess its not that big of a deal if I dont. Im just really really dreading the whole process!

Me fucking too. The thought of letting DD run around naked and hoping to get her on the toilet before she goes makes me crazy. How do you not let a toddler out of your eyesight for the entire day?!

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