Hot Nanny

archi35 · June 2014

So. I've started interviewing nannies already since English speaking ones are hard to come by here in Switz. Unfortunately paranoia is kicking in because most are semi to reasonably hot looking women. I'm lucky in that I know my husband would never actively cheat, but it feels a little like "why tempt fate". Am I crazy for having these thoughts? I'm actually thinking of turning down one who is completely qualified, just because she's very similar in type to me. I've never had any jealousy or worry in my marriage so these feelings are coming a little out of the blue for me...

Please tell me I'm insane and/or its the hormones?

Emerald27 · June 2014

It's probably hormones...and women tend to feel more vulnerable when they're pregnant.

I would try not to worry at all about looks and pay attention strictly to qualifications. Does SHE seem like the husband-seducing type? :P Or is she extremely professional and great with children?

Lele74 · June 2014

No exp with the nannys, but I definitely feel crazy about my husband and other women. It has NEVER crossed my mind until I got pregnant.
Just the other day, we went out for dinner and two women walked by our table. He looked up like any normal person would and I immediately felt a twinge of jealousy.
I hope you get a great nanny and you're probably a little crazy like me right now 8-}

golfingdarwinfish · June 2014

I was considering an au pair or live in help and ended up deciding against it because it would just be awkward having another woma living in our home.

My DH is incredibly trustworthy and respectful to women; he knows how much it means to me and I have never in our 11 years together seen him so much as check out another woman. Despite this, I don't really want a "hot" nanny and probably wouldn't employ one.

bumpuser10309732 · June 2014

I'm sure pregnancy hormones are somewhat to blame in this situation but I would be lying if I told you I would hire a hot nanny. Cause I wouldn't...you should be comfortable with whom ever you choose and if her looks make you uncomfortable why worry about that unnecessarily. If she's good, she'll find a job with someone who isn't bothered by her looks. No need to feel guilty about it!

SusieBW · June 2014

I have no personal experience, but I would say trust your gut, and try to focus more on the feeling that you get from the individuals, not on their looks. I'm sure it's your pregnancy hormones kicking in, and after the baby is born you will be able to look at the situation more pragmatically. Good luck with your search.

I've known 2 families that have employed hot nannies. Neither were live-ins, they just came over during the day, and in both situations, the husband was home at least some of the time that the nanny was there with the kids. They were both very professional and wound up being good friends with the families and staying in touch and getting together even after their employment ended (in one instance because the kids were older and no longer need a nanny, and in another because once the nanny graduated college, she got a "real job" and the child went to traditional day care). And the kids absolutely loved these women and continue to see them as a part of the family. I remember when DH first met my one friend's nanny for the first time (we ran into her out at breakfast one Saturday morning), he said "So, THAT'S Miss Erin . . ." Like, woah. Then he said he thought it was weird that she was home alone in the house with my friend's husband sleeping upstairs during the day a lot. I don't think DH would've had that feeling if Miss Erin wasn't hot, though.

wildflower75 · June 2014

I would say hormones or not, it is best to not tempt fate. But that is my reaction because of an experience I had and just what I have seen other people go through.

mcclan03 · June 2014

I've thought about the same thing. This sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I think I would hire a cute or attractive nanny, but probably not a super sexy hot one. I completely trust DH, but it would be more for me. I don't want some super hottie running around in my world and in front of my husband while I'm shuffling around in yoga pants with dirty frizzy hair and a swollen hoo-ha.

At risk of sounding old-fashioned, I'd also factor in how she dressed and generally presented herself. Is this a hottie who is just naturally hot, but is dressing/acting like a professional and reasonably modest nanny, or is this a hottie who is really turning it on, actively trying to turn heads, making things distracting for everyone? I'd be okay inviting in the former, not the latter.

BeanNut · June 2014

Can you have the potential nanny interview with your husband too to test out the dynamics??

lrobi13 · June 2014

No hot nannies!! Honestly, that was part of my FFFC last week. All the sudden my mind is working on how to protect my little family. DH has never given me any reason to not trust him but considering recent threads I guess sometimes there is no warning.

It probably is the hormones and the momma bear instinct but do what you feel is best. If the best qualified candidate is good looking I guess you will have to heavily weigh the pros and cons.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

I understand your concern since the-husband-and-the-nanny scenario is a big cliche. But ultimately you need to trust your gut! Also, nanny cams.

Saragoeswest · June 2014

I was a nanny in my early twenties and it was uncomfortably obvious the moment the wife became jealous/resentful/suspicious of my body. It was the first time we took the kids to a water park and I guess she got an eyeful of my boobs. It was a night and day switch in her attitude toward me. She started nitpicking every little thing I would do, finding ridiculous errands for me to go run on, she would talk about me on the phone in my presence, and generally avoid me even though she was a SAHM. I may have lasted five weeks after that point and then the situation was so toxic that I quit. I mean, she had already started interviewing replacement nannies behind my back.

So my advice to you is this: if you think you are going to be at all jealous or suspicious... don't hire that person. She will know and it will not be a good fit for anyone.

victoria+james · June 2014

Speaking as a hot nanny

I can tell you that I have been turned down for jobs in the past where I would be dealing primarily with the father. I would be top of the list when we did phone interviews, but as soon as I would meet them in person I could tell when the mom would get uncomfortable...

At least I hope it was because of my immense hotness and not that I gave off a homewrecker vibe.

I didn't take it personally. I know that I would never do anything like. But it's even less fun working for a family and feeling awkward all the time.

I say go with your gut - and if it says no, then no harm done!

JessAnnJ · June 2014

I'm sure this makes me insecure and immature but nope I would never hire a hot nanny. It's hard enough dealing with the emotions of leaving your child with another person. DH and I trust each other but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want a hot male nanny taking care of our kids either. Are there hot male nannys?

Maggie6424 · June 2014

I don't think you're crazy at all. I would never hire a hot nanny. I also highly doubt my hubs would ever stray, he's just too loyal by nature. BUT if the only "good" ones were good looking . . . you're kind of stuck.

BreandMikewedding · June 2014

I would like to say it wouldn't bother me, but deep down I know it would and I wouldn't hire her. I completely trust my husband but I don't trust women. There is a family who's oldest goes to school with my daughter and they have a nanny for the younger two. The nanny is hot and doesn't leave much to the imagination. I've seen her picking up the oldest a couple times and her outfits are always extremely tight, her shirts are as low as possible without exposing her nipples and her butt is hanging out of her shorts. The dad is also a total jerk and I could totally see him hitting on the nanny.

archi35 · June 2014

BreandMikewedding said:

I would like to say it wouldn't bother me, but deep down I know it would and I wouldn't hire her. I completely trust my husband but I don't trust women.

Thanks for all the replies ladies - its nice to know I'm not the only one with these thoughts! The above pretty much sums it up for me. I trust him, I don't trust women. And even if nothing WOULD happen, I don't want to have to think about it or even feel like I should check-in and read the situation to make sure she's not a ho. Plus I appreciate @victoria+james and @saragoeswest for their opposite side of the fence experiances. I wouldn't want to make her feel uncomfortable either. Verdict is in: I gotta go find an old troll or something. Maybe there are some retired teachers looking for cash... *sigh* the search continues!

heatherjeanp · June 2014

Find a "manny"

meggiev123 · June 2014

I'd also trust your gut. If it's going to make you uncomfortable, it's not worth it. We went with a "grandma" type for our nanny, and I love it. In addition to the husband jealousy, another aspect to consider is the "mommy" jealousy. Working full-time, it's inevitable your kid will have a very close relationship with the nanny. I'd be lying if I said there weren't multiple occasions when I felt jealous of DD's bond with the nanny. Somehow I think it helps that the nanny is more like an extra grandma than an extra mommy. Good luck with the search!

BreandMikewedding · June 2014

I would like to add that just because she's not hot doesn't mean she isn't a skank. Find an old lady or a straight manny. Lol.

archi35 · June 2014

meggiev123 said:

I'd also trust your gut. If it's going to make you uncomfortable, it's not worth it. We went with a "grandma" type for our nanny, and I love it. In addition to the husband jealousy, another aspect to consider is the "mommy" jealousy. Working full-time, it's inevitable your kid will have a very close relationship with the nanny. I'd be lying if I said there weren't multiple occasions when I felt jealous of DD's bond with the nanny. Somehow I think it helps that the nanny is more like an extra grandma than an extra mommy. Good luck with the search!

very good point!

Raesofsunshine1 · June 2014

Not to make light of the situation at sll, but all I can think about is Mary Poppins.

Maggie6424 · June 2014

Ooooh, the many! I LOVE that idea

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