STMs - Preparing older sibling for "the big day?"

MNdesigner · June 2014

My DD is 3 years old, and she has a surprisingly good grasp on what's happening... i.e. there's a baby coming, it's a girl, she'll be a big sister, etc. We are taking a Big Brother/Big Sister class at the hospital next month to get her ready for what it will be like to have a new baby around, though I'm sure that will be quite a shock when the time comes!

I'm wondering, though, what everyone is doing to prepare their older kids, especially toddler/preschool age, for THE day when baby comes, and the potential chaos along with it? It seems like everything is so hypothetical, I'm having trouble deciding how to talk to DD about who will stay with her/pick her up from daycare/etc depending on time of day. She has a hard time with change, and is also very literal, so talking through a bunch of scenarios might be too confusing. I want her to be prepared that at some point DH and I will have to leave, or someone else might show up at daycare, etc, but don't want to scare her. Any ideas?

99frontier · June 2014

Following. DS will have just turned 2 when his little sister arrives. I'm a SAHM so he's only used to me putting him to bed, down for naps, etc. So I'm stressing as well...

shevaCC · June 2014

Wow @BlinkMe182‌, great suggestions! We're talking a lot about it with my 2 year old DD. SIL just had a new baby so we talk about them often and I've started reading several books to her that include a new baby. We'll have her get a present for her baby brother to bring to the hospital and have a present there for her from him.
I'm not going to talk much about the actual delivery until I know what is going to happen. If I go early, we may need to scramble and have a babysitter watch her. If close to on time or late my mom will be there. Once my mom arrives, we'll talk to her about how she'll stay with grandma while we go to the hospital to get baby brother out of mommy's tummy.

KittyMisha · June 2014

For things like changes to routine/different people picking them up a simple story can be helpful. I write them myself, and draw little illustrations. Really basic sentences in the first person, like "When mommy brings my new brother Joe home from the hospital, he might cry a lot. This is okay." It helps to use words like might and sometimes, for concrete learners. Also, focus on how your child can help and behave around the new baby. You can even practice with a baby doll.

BeachM · June 2014

We are reading books about it, talking about it, I always tell DS when his brother is moving so he can feel, we talk about how I have to go to the doctor to get the baby out. I know he understands that my belly has a baby in it and that the baby will come out, but I know it's just not possible to explain to him exactly what this means in terms of another person living with us who won't be leaving. I fully expect some sort of "Ok, when is he going away?" moment several weeks after I deliver. We talk a lot about the fact that babies don't do much at first, they need to grow, they can't do all the cool things that DS can do like talk and play, etc.

My RCS is scheduled for a day DS is at camp at our church (it's a program affiliated with his preschool) so I have to decide if I want him to spend the night with my parents or at home. My RCS is scheduled for 10:30am and we have to be there by 8:30 so my mom could always just come over to our house before 8 that day. He will stay with my parents until I'm home from the hospital and they will basically do whatever I ask of them in terms of visiting. He spends a lot of time with my parents so staying with them is not a huge change of routine for him. He is going to be so intrigued by all this that I hope that takes some of the "Oh wait, I'm not the only kid now" edge off but we'll just deal with it as it comes.

caybeh · June 2014

I haven't really thought about this! DS is 2, and also has a pretty good grasp. I probably won't start talking about going to the hospital until it gets closer. I made the mistake of telling him I had to go to a doctor appointment, and he got all concerned and worried about me. I do need to talk to him about it beforehand, but just not quite yet.

My parents will be watching him while I am in labor, but they live two hours away. DS might be with my brother and family for a little while then, depending on how my labor goes. My parents have put DS to bed before, so I'm not too worried about that.

mhbraymer · June 2014

Last time dd knew she was going to go to her Mimi and papas house for a sleep over and that her and papa were gonna hangout and he would bring her to the hospital see us. She got a lot of sleepovers with them to get used to mommy not being there.

This time we are still trying to figure it out.

cappleby · June 2014

My son is 2 yrs and almost 3 months. He knows there is a baby in my tummy and thinks its funny to lift his shirt up, point to his belly and say baby? And then go "no!" And laugh. (I think he actually thought there was a baby in his tummy when we first told him it was pregnant back in first trimester. He is really into books so I bought waiting for baby and my new baby from amazon. I highly recommend them for the toddler set. They are really simple, just a line or two per page but it makes it really easy to expand to your situation to explain what will happen. Also my new baby shows lots of breast feeding which is awesome. They were like $2 or $3 on amazon.

exhibitv · June 2014

We have been reading books about a new baby (her favorite is one called Hello Baby) and telling her about how she'll be a big sister soon. Cleaning out the baby toys didn't work so well for us because she suddenly "wanted" all of them! She just turned 2 so I'm not sure how much she understands since it's very abstract and we've been talking about it so long.

reb84 · June 2014

My DD is 2 and we've started talking about her sister. She knows where the baby is, not sure if she understands that sister will come out. I just tell her things as we go through our day, like when she's eating, we talk about how babies eat and that they can't have foods like her yet. We talk about sharing (although she's in daycare so nothing to new there). She'll go to school the day of my RCS so we'll tell her what's going on and that she'll stay with daddy and grandma.

Right now she likes to be held a lot by me and I'm terribly sad that I won't be able to pick her up for a while. I'll just sit more and have her sit next to me and baby.

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BFP#1 10/11/11 - DD born 6/6/12;
BFP#2 7/6/13 - Due 3/8/13, MMC at 12w D&C on 8/31/13;

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BFP#1 10/11/11 - DD born 6/6/12; BFP#2 7/6/13 - Due 3/8/13, MMC at 12w D&C on 8/31/13;

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Re: STMs - Preparing older sibling for "the big day?"

BFP#1 10/11/11 - DD born 6/6/12;
BFP#2 7/6/13 - Due 3/8/13, MMC at 12w D&C on 8/31/13;