Community› The Bump Month Clubs› April 2014 Moms
April 2014 Moms
New Discussion

In serious need of a mommy vent

AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
in April 2014 Moms
I thought I was recovering pretty well from pregnancy. I'm back in all my old sizes and only 4 lbs over my normal weight (and I'm still pumping so I figured that would take a while). I of course still have the pugy tummy since I'm only 8 weeks pp, and I've just started doing core workouts to try to flatten it again. Well, Last night while we were watching tv I slid over to snuggle with dh, he put his arm around my waist, felt my stomach (I was wearing tight yoga pants because it was almost time for bed and they are comfortable) and he said "what are you pregnant again?"

I know it's overreacting but it's been bugging me ever since he said it! I don't like not feeling like my old self, and I don't need it pointed out. It doesn't help that I'm in dire need of new clothes, but I can't afford it because dh chose to pay off MIL debt without talking to me so now all of my income goes towards paying that and I have nothing to spend on myself.

Urg. I feel like a fool for being so sensitive, but I'm still kind of pissed.i don't even want to leave the house today.

Anyone else need to join me in venting this morning?
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
 

BabyFruit Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: In serious need of a mommy vent

  • AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
    Yah, and he feels bad for saying it, but I can't brush it off like I should.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
     

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • BreeShipmanBreeShipman member
    Sheesh he should be happy you are that close. I am like 4 sizes away not 4 lb!! You definitely have a reason to feel like you do and no matter how much he may apologize feelings aren't faucets you can't just turn it off. Go get at least one thing you feel better wearing maybe that will help ;)
    Report Reply
  • Ksample89Ksample89 member
    My SO gained more weight than I did during pregnancy. I've lost all but 5lbs and he has not lost any. I would never point that out to him because he has been trying to lose it. I'd slap him if he said anything about my body at this point other than compliments. Even being almost at my prepregnancy weight my body is still not the same shape. You have every right to be upset! He has some serious ass kissing to do!
    Report Reply
  • JessimaxJessimax member
    I'm right there with you. With LO #1 my body bounced back so quick. This little girl really did a number though. Weight wise I am only up 5-10lbs but my whole body composition seems to have changed (not to mention the stretch marks that go all the way down to my KNEES) Nothing fits me, dressing in the morning often results in tears. DH won't "let me" but new cloths cause we are broke now (the joys of farming, money rushes out faster than we can see in the spring and early summer and doesn't come back till the fall). And he wonders why I'm not up for sex. No sleep+uncomfortable with body is not conducive to sex.
    Report Reply
  • LaNorteLaNorte member
    I'm always one to stick up for the husbands on this board (I think we give them too much grief, most of the time, myself included) but that was a shitty thing to say. I also hate to generalize men into one giant category, but IMO men just don't have the same body image issues that women do and their self esteem isn't as closely tied to their physical perceptions of themselves, so I don't think they see the harm in statements like that. But it does hurt, a lot, and I'm sorry that he said it because I bet you look awesome! 4 lbs over is something I am a long ways away from! Regardless of how you look, I hope you FEEL amazing.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker}
    Report Reply
  • KatieGummowKatieGummow member
    Dick move. Why are you paying off MILs debt? He didn't ask you about this before hand? I'm sorry he felt he can do that without talking it over with you. I am also sorry he said that insensitive comment.

    I have been asked more "when are you due?" now than when I was actually pregnant (just not by my DH).
    image
    image    image    image    image

    Report Reply
  • MamaFantasticMamaFantastic member
    The comment was stupid and rude. He should know it's bound to affect your ability to feel sexy and desirable to him. He shot himself in the foot there.

    The MIL thing... I remember something from awhile ago about this. That, to me, is the way bigger issue. Why is he making major financial decisions without you?? Especially ones that are emotionally charged and carry a history of disagreement between the two of you.
    Report Reply
  • AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
    The MIL thing he got guilted into by his family. She owed 5k to the IRS and it got to the point that she had to pay or there would be serious consequences. Dh is the only son and in their family they think that makes him responsible for his parents. (We had to pay for FIL's funeral by ourselves too, and that's when we were in college still.) We had agreed not to help, but she called him panicked one morning at work and he started paying. I'm not angry at him about it anymore, but it does create a situation that totally sucks sometimes. We would be very comfortable, but instead we are scraping by each month so that we can pay it off. It's the situation at this point, not dh, that is frustrating me.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  
     

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • pete0121pete0121 member
    I'm just saying, DH would've gotten a very unpleasant earful of bitch if he would've said that to me: joking or not. And the debt thing with MIL, it's not ok to do something like that without agreement from you unless he was using his own personal account.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • sunshineinmay09sunshineinmay09 member
    1) your DH's top priority should be you and your children. Period. I understand wanting to help your parents out, but there are consequences to your actions and your MIL is a grown woman and knows this.

    2) i would be used if my DH made such a huge financial decision without my input. That's not alright. The fact the you guys are barely making it each month, when you could have financial cushion means you shouldn't be paying it. I sincerely hope your MIL is helping to pay down her own debt.

    3) you need to feel good about yourself. You're important too. Take some of that money you're putting towards your MIL's debt and go by some new clothes! You don't want to start feeling depressed and unhappy. Depression can be a slippery slope.

    4) maybe you and your h can meet in the middle. Maybe only pay every other month towards her debt, or only pay half of what you're paying now. You don't want to get into a situation where you need emergency funds and don't have it.

    Also, I hope you're DH makes it up to you for that crappy comment. Mine would've gotten an earful.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"