Name fights

ashleecarter7 · June 2014

My husband wants to name our son after himself. He has pretty much put his foot down and is overly confident that his son will be named Riley 2nd. I absolutely despise this and don't want to name the baby after him! I tried to compromise by suggesting baby go by the middle name to which he immediately shut down. He will not hear any name suggestions as is determined to have a 2nd. No one in the family thinks it's a good idea and every one you ask suggests to give baby his own name. Each time we try to discuss ends up in a huge fight. Help!

creativesoul83 · June 2014

I have no help however completely understand! my h not so darling says every other name is inferior which sent me into a fit of laughter!!!

) right. So Itold him if it is a girl iI am naming her after me. he said no!!! I asked why not he says that's ridiculous I said ok junior!

I feel like every child should be given their own name for originality. That is just my opinion which to each their own of course.

due to this reason is the only only reason I favor having a girl. I don't like not having a say. these are OUR children we should be able to agree.

So good luck keep us posted :-<

ashleecarter7 · June 2014

It's just frustrating bc we have 2 girls and this is our last child and we were blessed with a boy. I completely understand the excitement. However! I am giving you your boy!! Lol he will carry on your last name and I feel that should really be enough! I feel I have no say and it sucks! Makes me wish sometimes that I was having another girl and then that makes me feel even more awful!

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

No advice really, but a name really should be a compromise. It sounds like you're all about that, but your husband is being a poop.

I would keep at it. Put your foot down. He may be the baby's father but you are the mother and you get a say, too.

lizzielu82 · June 2014

ashleecarter7 said:

My husband wants to name our son after himself. He has pretty much put his foot down and is overly confident that his son will be named Riley 2nd. I absolutely despise this and don't want to name the baby after him! I tried to compromise by suggesting baby go by the middle name to which he immediately shut down. He will not hear any name suggestions as is determined to have a 2nd. No one in the family thinks it's a good idea and every one you ask suggests to give baby his own name. Each time we try to discuss ends up in a huge fight. Help!

Hi, I'm Lizzie and I like cheese and long walks on the beach. An intro would have been nice and if you're just looking for names advice, the Names Board might be an excellent place for you to check out: https://forums.thebump.com/categories/baby-names

lizgrace03 · June 2014

Sounds like he's being pretty unreasonable. I would try very seriously telling him how upset this is making you and that you really want to discuss it and if he's not willing, well, I don't know what to tell you.

lizgrace03 · June 2014

lizzielu82 said:

ashleecarter7 said:

My husband wants to name our son after himself. He has pretty much put his foot down and is overly confident that his son will be named Riley 2nd. I absolutely despise this and don't want to name the baby after him! I tried to compromise by suggesting baby go by the middle name to which he immediately shut down. He will not hear any name suggestions as is determined to have a 2nd. No one in the family thinks it's a good idea and every one you ask suggests to give baby his own name. Each time we try to discuss ends up in a huge fight. Help!

Hi, I'm Lizzie and I like cheese and long walks on the beach. An intro would have been nice and if you're just looking for names advice, the Names Board might be an excellent place for you to check out: https://forums.thebump.com/categories/baby-names

I'm Liz and I also like cheese. Welcome to N14.

Maelara · June 2014

Mmmm cheese... Wait. No socks, right?!

lizzielu82 · June 2014

lizgrace03 said:

lizzielu82 said:

ashleecarter7 said:

My husband wants to name our son after himself. He has pretty much put his foot down and is overly confident that his son will be named Riley 2nd. I absolutely despise this and don't want to name the baby after him! I tried to compromise by suggesting baby go by the middle name to which he immediately shut down. He will not hear any name suggestions as is determined to have a 2nd. No one in the family thinks it's a good idea and every one you ask suggests to give baby his own name. Each time we try to discuss ends up in a huge fight. Help!

Hi, I'm Lizzie and I like cheese and long walks on the beach. An intro would have been nice and if you're just looking for names advice, the Names Board might be an excellent place for you to check out: https://forums.thebump.com/categories/baby-names

I'm Liz and I also like cheese. Welcome to N14.

Cheese whores unite! :-bd

lizzielu82 · June 2014

You win the whore cheese award of the day in my book, @zengal . That sounds amazing!

lizzielu82 · June 2014

Maelara said:

Mmmm cheese... Wait. No socks, right?!

Ooooooh @Maelara come take a look at this!

lizzielu82 · June 2014

@zengal the cheese is even more perfect since boar rhymes with whore!

carafern · June 2014

Now I want cheese.

I agree with @AeandJb you are growing the baby. You get a say in the name. IMO both parties should have a few vetoes. He can't put his foot down. I think legally he can't unilaterally choose… but I may be pulling that out of my ass…. Of course I don't expect OP to sue her H over this…but its interesting to know.

NunyaBennis · June 2014

zengal said:
Haha @lizzielu82! It's boars head. Try it and you'll be hooked.

That is good cheese! My poor old plain roast beef sandwiches prior to its discovery. Nomnomnom

tinkerbell1658 · June 2014

NunyaBennis said:

zengal said:
Haha @lizzielu82! It's boars head. Try it and you'll be hooked.
That is good cheese! My poor old plain roast beef sandwiches prior to its discovery. Nomnomnom

OMG! I need my sandwich now..... roast beef, with horseradich cheddar toasted on a roll then add coleslaw when done cooking!!

OP....hope he can learn to compromise. Im dreading the name discussion with my babys father. Good luck!

rox825 · June 2014

H and I are having this debate too, he has pretty much settled on names in his head and does not want to compromise, which is what I'm trying to do. I've decided if he doesn't want to compromise and come up with names that we agree on in advance, that's fine, because ultimately when the baby is born I'll be the one deciding anyway. It's his choice! Good luck.

wildflower75 · June 2014

Why exactly are you so dead set against a "junior"/ 2nd?
What are your reasons?

While on the topic...
For the record I had grilled cheese for lunch yesterday...

DoubleUp8 · June 2014

venussapphire · June 2014

I would say that the name is only going to be on the birth certificate once. Either as the kids name or as the fathers name lol so unless he wants it to say 'unknown' hes going to have to budge.

lisaren · June 2014

How do y'all handle real life shit/problems??
Is he always stubborn? Do you usually give in easily and that's why he's being this way?

brooklyngirl18 · June 2014

now i want cheese!!!

Dana633 · June 2014

I personally don't like Junior, 2nd, 3rd...whatever. I know a few people who have had major issues being a junior with medical bills, social security issues, credit scores....It can really be a nightmare.

ashleecarter7 · June 2014

I know it can be an issue! I work in the medical field and I know a few jrs and 2nds and they hate it! They always go by a nickname or middle name.
In regards to other issues, we always compromise. Never had an issue which is why I was looking for any sort of help here. I realistically was looking for any one who has dealt with a major name debate or something. It's not that I feel like I need to "win" and get my name choice. I just was hoping to find some sort of input to help the stress

Dana633 · June 2014

I think you should definitely stress the credit issue. A friend of mine had major issues when going to build his home, because his father (senior) hadn't paid something a long time ago and it was showing up on his (junior's) credit report. Had to fight and get legal involved to clear his report which delayed the building of his home by a year.

ashleecarter7 · June 2014

He thinks have the suffix of 2nd will be sufficient and I tried to explain I see errors all the time between charts and medical information going in the wrong place. That's a big enough red flag to me! And really I don't feel like Riley is a name you would pass down. It's not like the solid Williams and Thomas and such. Not that I would want to ever pass down a name anyway. I just feel this baby needs his own name and own identity. Even my husband's father agrees with me!

NunyaBennis · June 2014

WildFlower810 said:

kyliedaniellexx said:

If he won't agree to name the baby Lemon, give him ze divorce papers.

Lemon Cheese, or Cheese Lemon. We've got options now!

Lemon Cheese, hmm? Like a hard cheese you could grate over... maybe... asparagus? Or a soft cheese used to fill, say, a shortbread or Graham Cracker crust?

(Graham Cracker was capitalized by auto-correct. I call winner!)

SarahHeck · June 2014

Has he said why it's so important to him? It really doesn't make sense that he's being such a jerk about the name. He got to have some other reason if he's normally pretty resonable about things.

ashleecarter7 · June 2014

No! No explanation. Even before we knew what the baby was he never discussed a 2nd so it was kinda sprung on me and he is being a jerk about it. It's frustrating bc if I'm being 110% honest I just wish this would've been a girl to save from all the hassle.

mommymeg143 · June 2014

lizzielu82 said:

Maelara said:

Mmmm cheese... Wait. No socks, right?!

Ooooooh @Maelara come take a look at this!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

)

DoubleUp8 · June 2014

ashleecarter7 said:

I know it can be an issue! I work in the medical field and I know a few jrs and 2nds and they hate it! They always go by a nickname or middle name. In regards to other issues, we always compromise. Never had an issue which is why I was looking for any sort of help here. I realistically was looking for any one who has dealt with a major name debate or something. It's not that I feel like I need to "win" and get my name choice. I just was hoping to find some sort of input to help the stress

There are also the credit issues when LO gets older. I have a friend who has the same first name as his dad, but a different middle name. They live in the same town and they have had things like the other one's credit card pop up on credit checks. Not a big issue in their case, but rough if one of the two parties involved has bad credit!

phdprocrastinator · June 2014

Naming is so difficult and is not helped at all if one person refuses to budge.

This actually happened to my FIL. His parents couldn't agree on a name. His father was the one who filled out the birth certificate, and put down his name choice. His mother refused to use that name. So for his entire life - even now - he uses both names. Depending on the context in which he meet a person (e.g., church vs. work), he introduces himself with the name that goes in that context.

It's as confusing as it sounds, but he doesn't seem to mind.

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