Hello all! I have issues with depression in the past when I was younger, took myself off my medicine but I seemed to be fine. Then I was on medicine for it a lot again for years relating to my fibromyalgia, and took myself off everything as we were TTC. We tried 2 years so being pregnant made us super happy and distracted me from all my issues but now I'm 3w past delivery, had an unexpected c-section with complications, and I feel like all my hormones, and emotions, and physical pain from the Fibro came flooding back.
I read normal "baby blues" lasts about 2w, but I am a little past 3w and incredibly emotional. Everything makes me cry. Hell, I'm crying typing this. I feel really horrible I don't want to cry in front of the baby.
Not sure if I have PPD, is it normal to feel this way after 3w still? I have no thoughts of hurting her, but I had anxiety issues prior to pregnancy also and I have these horrible thoughts everytime I pick her up or watch someone else - even husband - holding her that her neck is going to roll and break off. What a horrible thing to think! I am so terrified of something happening to her neck.
I felt like it was my fault when my milk waned and we had to supplement with formula briefly, my fault when she cried all night and I couldn't console her (even though it only happened *1* night so far), and now she seems to have broken out with baby pimples which I feel must be my fault too, from my hormones or the BF milk or who knows what! ;_;