having a hard time emotionally with pregnancy

Dumbgurl04 · June 2014

Physically I will say I'm having a very easy pregnancy, yeah I'm uncomfortable but it doesn't feel all that bad to me. Emotionally though it is kicking my ass. I will admint yes I was upset about finding out we are having a girl cause I did want a boy. But I'm still gonna love her and I'm so excited to met her and hold her in my arms. With these crazy ass hormones though it makes me feel even worse that I felt awful when we were told that it was a girl. Then if I already didn't feel weird enough now I'll my crazy emotions from when I first found out I was pregnant and how I scared I am come rushing back. SO it's been a tough time not to cry 24-7. Plus I don't think other people are helping, I mean yeah I was upset but there have been a few people that think I'm going to physically harm myself so I won't be pregnant anymore my MIL being one of them! I mean yes I have been on a very crazy emotional roller coaster since being pregnant but there has never been a single thought of me doing any harm to myself or my baby. So people in general are not helping when it comes to emotional issues, I just don't want them talking to me about it and when they do I respond in a very scarastic way or something that sounds down right mean. Plus not to mention all the comments I got when I annouced we were having a girl from some friends and family about how they all are gonna get me tutus and big hair bows and everything pink to make me mad. Which I'm kind of girlish and don't really like a lot of that stuff and don't plan on putting my DD in it. I will when she gets older and asks for it then I will have no problem but I feel like right now she wont care and it's my child. So yeah emotionally I'm having a very hard time. I know you always hear about the hardships of pregnancy physically and the emotionally AFTER baby is here. But you don' hear a lot about it emotionallly before baby arrives. Been trying to looking up support groups and more information about having I hard time emotionally during pregnancy. Because really you can't talk to just anyone because I talk about this to some people and they are all "It will pass" which yeah my emotions come and go but I have never know anyone to have it this bad, everyone I have know has had a hard time physically with their pregnancy. Any else having a harder time emotionally?

MollMoll4 · June 2014

Sorry you are having a tough time. I don't have any personal experience with this but it sounds like you may want to seek a therapist. Maybe having an impartial, experienced ear will help?

emoxymoose · June 2014

I agree with all PP, take of yourself so you can take care of that sweet baby girl. I hope you get some answers and feel better soon.

Lilwatz · June 2014

I'm sorry you are struggling. Thoughts, prayers, hugs. Hope things get better for you and your precious little one.

Maelara · June 2014

Depression during pregnancy is extremely common. I think even as much as PPD. Your hormones are going crazy. Start calling around to places in your area and ask if they specialize in pregnancy depression. I agree with others when they say this doesn't sound like normal 'emotions' during pregnancy. It's ok to be going through this

I had PPD and PPA. It's hard and I haven't even told my inlaws about it. When they had to watch DD so I could see someone, I lied. You don't need to tell anyone. People who are bugging you about the girlie stuff, don't let it. You are the one with the power as to what your child will actually wear. They can get it but they know they will be throwing their money away. You can always laugh and mention that

brooklyngirl18 · June 2014

i just wanted to say i'm really sorry you are going through this and hope you find someone to talk to or another outlet for your emotions. Pregnancy is not all the rainbows and butterflies it's sometimes made out to be and i dont think that's talked about enough. you need to do what's best for you and try to ignore all the stupid comments. big hugs.

NLJ82 · June 2014

Idk that I'm feeling the same depression symptoms as you, as much as rage....rage 24/7 & I can and will go off about ANYTHING. I assume it's like walking on eggshells for my family and I feel bad about it while at the same time don't feel like I can control it.

I was so enraged at the stupidity of the bank teller the other day that my entire body was shaking and I had to sit down to even catch a breath.

God speed, anyone who knows me

phdprocrastinator · June 2014

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I believe the "official" name is ante-partum depression, which you may want to bring up to your doctor. The pregnancy hormones are tough, and it's totally understandable to be overwhelmed, but when you mentioned crying 24/7 it sent up a red flag for me.

I know one of the biggest resiliency factors against PPD is having a strong support system. I'd imagine this is true for APD as well. You may want to work with a therapist or your doctor to get a strong support system in place and develop strategies to deal with those around you who may not be helpful. This will probably serve you well in your PP period as well.

Best of luck, sweetie. I had PPD and it can feel very lonely - especially when everyone tells you this should be the happiest time in your life. Know you're not alone.

carcrashheart · June 2014

I recently read an article that suggests that often times PPD presents itself during pregnancy, but isn't diagnosed as such because it can be chalked up to regular pregnancy hormones.

I couldn't quite follow your post, but I would look in to a therapist. I started seeing a therapist that specialized in IF just a few weeks before becoming pregnant. I saw her throughout the pregnancy because I had a lot of anxieties and such and it was helpful to have someone to talk to. She was able to help me sort things out and sent me home with goals and things to work on and focus on.

sunflwra · June 2014

I think what you are going through is very real and reasonable to a degree, but if there are multiple people that are concerned for your well being, I would recommend trying to speak to someone. If you're doing ok, it won't hurt. If people are seeing something that you aren't aware of, it could really help. GL!

uncharted01 · June 2014

I just want to say that I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I hope you can find the support you need. Remember, there's no shame in asking for help when you need it. Best wishes!

Kristil2014 · June 2014

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. i would also suggest seeking help from a therapist.

Many hugs.

kstirton · June 2014

I'm having a super hard time emotionally too. I cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes I'm just plain UGLY and usually to people I love the most. It's tough. I just describe it to my poor DH that I don't feel like myself at all at times and it's frustrating, he knows b/c he can hear it when I'm not myself. It's really gone to show me why some people I've known in the past have literally gone into hiding for 9 months while they are pregnant. Just hang in there, THIS IS TEMPORARY! And get help if you feel like you need to talk to someone. Meeting once a week would be affordable and very very worth it if it's what you need. Also - my doctor made me get off my Lexapro but I know some doctor's will still let you be on a very low dose of celexa or Lexapro to even your moods out a little. (I know there is controversy about this) don't care and am not looking to go there - I know it's between the doctor and the patient and deciding which is more a risk to the baby... so that's for you to decide.

Again - hang in there and know your not the only one on an emotional roller coaster. I'm right there with ya sister!

mommymeg143 · June 2014

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You should mention everything at your next OB appointment. Your OB can set you up with a therapist and as PP mentioned no one needs to know about it but you. Take care of yourself and your sweet little girl. Don't let people get to you, laugh off their comments. If you need more help, come back here and vent anytime you want. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Hugs to you!

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

I'm on mobile so I can't really write everything I'm thinking, but I am so sorry you are going through this. This sounds a lot like depression and I think it would benefit to talk to a professional. Pregnancy is hard! You are doing great. Emotional ups and downs are completely normal, just sometimes having someone to talk to helps.

You didn't say why your MIL thinks you would hurt yourself or the baby. I'm not saying she has a valid concern, I don't know your situation, but her saying stuff like that seems like it isn't beneficial to your mental health. I would distance myself from her.

Dumbgurl04 · June 2014

absolutelymaybe said:

I'm on mobile so I can't really write everything I'm thinking, but I am so sorry you are going through this. This sounds a lot like depression and I think it would benefit to talk to a professional. Pregnancy is hard! You are doing great. Emotional ups and downs are completely normal, just sometimes having someone to talk to helps. You didn't say why your MIL thinks you would hurt yourself or the baby. I'm not saying she has a valid concern, I don't know your situation, but her saying stuff like that seems like it isn't beneficial to your mental health. I would distance myself from her.

I think the only reason she thought I would hurt myself was because she knew I wanted a boy. Which thankfully when she said that my DH stood up for me and told her I"m allowed to be upset about the gender. His mom over reacts to everything

Dumbgurl04 · June 2014

Thanks Ladies I knew posting on here I would get better advice then "you will get over it" or "everyone has this, it will pass" You all rock. I'm glad my DH is being very supportive during all this he actually stands up for me when people make comments to me.

Allyvaughan86 · June 2014

I'm also having a very hard time emotionally! Physically, it's been a breeze! Between the anxiety of PGAL, a not so supportive husband,and parents that aren't too happy with the way my husband is acting/treating me, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind! I feel like I could break down at any given moment!

I don't know your exact situation, but I can relate to the roller coaster of emotions! It's not fun or a good feeling at all! No one should have to go through it!

I plan on talking to my doctor next visit and also maybe trying some anxiety meds as soon as baby is born because I honestly can't take it much longer and I know the unneeded stress is not good for my baby!

ssstephanie214 · June 2014

I agree with you that tutus for a baby are ridiculous. Good to hear that you have a supportive husband because nobody can handle this kind of thing all by themselves. Even so, I always found it helpful to talk to someone who was totally uninvolved in my life (i.e. A therapist), I was amazed at the shit that comes out of my mouth. Even a phone consultation would help. Feel better

AudreyJoA · June 2014

I completely understand. I haven't had a hard pregnancy, but I am almost in a depression it seems. Pretty much anything my partner says is wrong so I cry a lot of the time. One night I bawled my eyes out just because I was going to meet a women to possibly give away one of my dogs, because he was a puppy. But I find out what my LO is tomorrow and I feel like I will be sad if it is a girl as well. I've wanted a boy. But my MIL instead of worrying about my sadness is totally focused on my LO being a girl and getting baby girl clothes already. I just wanted to let you know, you aren't alone and I have a rough time finding happiness.

hope it helps

tylerkingrn · June 2014

I had a friend that was pregnant with her first that suffered major prenatal depression. She had a really rough time emotionally and wouldn't even let anyone throw her a baby shower. After baby was born and her hormones leveled out she was back to her normal self. She confided in me after the fact that she even wanted to die and thought about hurting herself while pregnant. Please get some help for yourself and baby! Hormones can do crazy things to our minds and bodies. Prayers for you girl! {hugs}

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