WTF Relatives

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

Anyone have any WTF Relatives stories to share? Baby related or otherwise.

I do! I had a fam. reunion this weekend and actually had my first "Did you really just say that to me?" moment.

My dad is pretty excited about our twins, so most of his family already knew and was congratulating me, including one of my cousins. So, when I sat down to eat next to that cousin's wife and out of nowhere she says, "You look so much better now that you've gained weight. You were way too thin last year!" (fyi my BMI wasn't below 18 last summer). I'm thinking, well, that was a little weird but maybe she's just trying to make me feel better about gaining weight during my pregnancy. So I replied, "Well, I've gained 17 pounds in 17 weeks, so I'm right on track!" She replied, "On track for what?"

Oh my god. She didn't know I was pregnant (not that it wouldn't been that much less rude) but she was randomly commenting on my weight gain! I'm so glad I am pregnant because I would've gone away feel like shit about myself.

But it gets better (not baby related)...

The table conversation turns to vacationing and she turns to me and asks, "Have you ever gone zip lining?" I replied we had while we were down in Mexico. Her response, "Oh. Well, I don't know if I would trust it if Mexicans were doing it." It was all I could do to not say anything. DH -- who is clearly Hispanic and has Mexican heritage -- just stared at each other like, "What the fuu?" We found another place to sit shortly after that.

ssstephanie214 · June 2014

I had dinner with my aunt and her family yesterday and had my first unwanted belly grab. When she saw me, she quickly said I HAVE TO TOUCH IT and woosh two hands to the belly. Since she grabbed way too high it felt even weirder.

Worse, when I complained about it to my mom she said, "Family has a free pass."

I disagree.

Dimples0101 · June 2014

The other day my mother said to me "That shirt makes you look really pregnant." I said "Thanks. I'll go straight home and change."

Today my MIL said to me "So, have you gained a lot of weight?" I should have said "Yes. Have you?" But I just said I didn't know (lie).

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

My MIL went out garage sale-ing, and stopped by my house to show me about 10-15 SUPER adorable, gender neutral newborn - approx. 3 month old outfits.

I said "wow THANK you!", assuming she had bought them for DH and I, and she snagged the bag away and said "actually I thought these would be good for GRANDMA'S house". And then she left.

So .... she now has an entire nursery AND wardrobe set up at her house for the LO, while DH and I are trying to list our current place and get our other one built with a couple months to spare before delivery.

Lilwatz · June 2014

I love dysfunctional family stories, because my family is full of them. I don't really have any good ones yet though! Which is quite disappointing...

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

bethas said:

HappyToBeHere said:
I said "wow THANK you!", assuming she had bought them for DH and I, and she snagged the bag away and said "actually I thought these would be good for GRANDMA'S house". And then she left.

My mouth literally hung open when I read that. How ridiculously rude, and braggy. Ugh. Sorry

I genuinely appreciate the sympathy

. She's usually fine but lately she's been really, really snarky towards me (even DH has noticed). I'm just not sure when she thinks the LO will be over for long enough durations in order to be changed into these clothes before he/she grows out of them (which is, like, daily when they're newborns!). We live in the same town for goodness' sake!

BlackBooks · June 2014

HappyToBeHere said:

My MIL went out garage sale-ing, and stopped by my house to show me about 10-15 SUPER adorable, gender neutral newborn - approx. 3 month old outfits.

I said "wow THANK you!", assuming she had bought them for DH and I, and she snagged the bag away and said "actually I thought these would be good for GRANDMA'S house". And then she left.

So .... she now has an entire nursery AND wardrobe set up at her house for the LO, while DH and I are trying to list our current place and get our other one built with a couple months to spare before delivery.

Pretty sure this is what your baby's grandma just did to you

Kristy774 · June 2014

@HappyToBeHere‌ is this her 1st grandchild? Not that I'm making excuses for her but my mom was like that with her first, she's calmed way down since her 1st (my oldest) but he will always be her favorite, we all know it.

When he was a newborn, she went to a very expensive fancy photographer and had her and my sons pictures done together and did not offer for me to be in the pictures at all, just him and her. She's never done that with any of her other grandchildren, just him. So hopefully your mil calms down, eventually!!

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

@BlackBooks - she definitely did, lol.

Maybe I was just being way too presumptuous thinking that they were for DH and I to keep for the nursery (that we don't yet have). Meh. At least the babe will have cute clothes regardless of where he/she is visiting I guess!

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

@Kristy774 - it is her first, yep! So I half get where she's coming from, and am trying to keep my cool about it all. We are also moving further from her and my FIL and closer to my parents, so I know that's upsetting her ("I'm sure your parents will be happy", "well I hope the baby isn't too afraid of me to spend the night here since I probably won't see it much" - yes, she has actually said these things.) When DH and I were engaged, all she kept saying was "I was told that the mother of the groom wears beige and keeps her mouth shut" to which I would have to overemphasize how sad that would make me. I try to stay positive, because truly she's not a horrible woman.

I'd be pretty disappointed if my MIL did that photographer thing. But hey - whatever makes them feel special I suppose lol.

kepper6000 · June 2014

I just....wow.

For the record, I don't think you were being too presumptuous in thinking that clothes bought for your child would live at your house. I really can't understand who thinks newborns have separate wardrobes for different locations.

What does your DH say to all this?

Edited--total quote fail. That was to @HappytobeHere

JamieK1882 · June 2014

I've been self conscious that I don't have a bump yet, so I wasn't pleased when my mom came over yesterday and said "you don't look pregnant just chunky!"

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

kepper6000 said:

What does your DH say to all this?

Oh he agrees, and is always willing to stick up for me, but him mentioning it to her isn't worth the drama (she cries). We're both just trying to let it roll off our backs. He says things like that she'll quickly realize when the baby comes that a.) we're not letting her keep it overnight if I'm breastfeeding (and, quite frankly, even if I'm not when its still in infancy), and b.) we will pack spare clothes when we leave out house, so her wardrobe will render itself useless.

We both believe it is because we are moving closer to my parents (which is about 1/2 hour away from her). She is getting defensive (which I sort of understand, since our current house is closer to her and my FIL). But what she needs to realize is that by doing this (the comments, the guilt-trips), it just makes me want to go there even less :-<

Thank you all for making me feel better about this - sorry, OP, for sort of hijacking the thread!!

HappyToBeHere · June 2014

@JamieK1882 - moms can say such ridiculous things! You'll have a bump soon enough (although I'm sure you already do, even though you don't think so), and it'll have been worth the cringe-worthy comment!

MrsTuna08 · June 2014

My mom told me she was glad that we got a puppy who turned out to be a handful because DH and I are too uptight and need to learn to relax about stuff before the baby comes. Shut it mom.

ejpetey · June 2014

I'm getting guilt trips for not wanting to drive 2 hours to my dad/stepmothers house to celebrate my birthday this weekend (all I want to do is just be home for a weekend since I haven't done that in over a month). When I invited them down to my place instead (which they haven't visited since I moved there in March, though I've been to their place several times) they said they didn't want to deal with 4th of July traffic. But somehow it's ok for me, my brother, SIL and their 1 year old to deal with it instead (the weekend BEFORE the 4th of July, no less). Maybe this wouldn't be as annoying if they hadn't just bailed on fathers day plans at the last minute (via text). Oh well.

kbelle13 · June 2014

My BIL is our roommate, and he was gone for about 3 weeks for military stuff. In the meantime, I popped, so I look kinda pregnant now. He got back on Saturday, and when he saw me he said, "Oh my gosh! You are getting prego fat!". /:)

Luckily, he and I get along pretty well, so I knew he meant I was starting to show. But really, I couldn't believe that was said...

ejpetey · June 2014

I have another one! One of my uncles was talking about how his daughter was pregnant and due in October.

me: oh, I actually have some news to share- I'm expecting in November myself!

him: who is, your brother? (my brother is married and has a 1 yo - I, however, am single)

me: no, *I* am.

him: oh, you're adopting?

me: ... no ...

him: oh, you're PREGNANT???

me: yes! isn't that exciting?

him: oh, wow... yes... Who's the secret husband you've been hiding from us?

Seriously? What year is this again? And I'm 35, FWIW.

anotherjenj · June 2014

Not really a big deal, but I can't help but think its really weird that my in-laws are basically redesigning their entire house around their grandchildren (who all live 4+ hours away). They recently got a third hi-chair for my LO (they already had two, one for each of my nephews) who obviously isn't coming for months and who we've already said wouldn't be visiting until about a year from now. They also bought all new furniture for their living room (including a rocking chair for my MIL to rock her grandsons to sleep in - a feat I've yet to witness with either of my nephews) to "make room for all the little ones."

It would be one thing if we were all visiting all the time, but in general, all of us are only at the house for a total of about 10 days a year (a weekend for christmas, a weekend for thanksgiving, and a weekend in june).

I mean, I guess they can spend their money however they want, but it seems so bizarre to me to redo everything to accommodate a situation that only happens a few days a year, instead of doing what works for the two of them the vast majority of the time. I have this vision of my MIL rocking in that rocking chair alone, comforting an imaginary grandson, waiting for one or more to visit again.

PineApple85 · June 2014

I'm so jealous of all of you with grandparents that purchase toys and gear for their own house. My parents refuse to buy anything because they "don't have room". They live in a 2500 sq ft house, just the two of them - and to put it in perspective, we live in 1200 sq ft house. On the rare occasions that I can get my mom to watch DS I have to bring the stroller (in case she feels like going for a walk), the car seat (in case she feels like getting out of the house), the PnP (when he was smaller), and the diaper bag with plenty of diapers and all that. Now that he's older I have to bring the high chair.

My only "WTF Relatives" quotes are actually SO.

Earlier in the pregnancy when I first started putting on weight.

SO: Did you get big this quick with [DS]?

Me: No, but it's normal to start showing a little earlier with the 2nd.

SO: Well, I mean your legs have gotten a lot bigger.

Me:

So: What?

Then a couple of weeks ago, SO is hold DS behind me while I'm washing dishes.

SO: (to DS) Oh, look at Mommy's arms jiggle.

Me: What?!

SO: What? Oh, that's not good is it. Well, it's only when you're pregnant.

Me: So!

SO: Oh.

He's clueless.

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