Into and question :)

sunflowermama42212 · June 2014

Hi ladies!

I would love to join you guys if you'll have me!

DH and I welcomed our baby boy after 2 years of infertility. We were successful on our second IVF cycle. H is now 2 weeks old and I am just getting over a head cold. Being sick with a newborn and learning to BF hasn't been fun but we made it over that hump.

Question for you ladies...has going through infertility put more pressure on your shoulders to be super mom?

I had a hard labor and then a c section and two days after my c section I was running around doing everything for myself. I drove the hospital staff nuts and it only got worse when I got home. I just feel like I have so much pressure to be perfect. I don't know how to relax. I'm sure he won't admit it but I'm probably driving DH bananas.

Thanks for "listening"

here is H at his 1 week weight check

TJ1979 · June 2014

Congrats, what a cutie! IF didn't put more pressure on me as far as "doing it all" but it made me feel like I needed to enjoy it more. My first was no cake walk though. She was colicky and had MSPI and we both cried all day every day and night. I felt like I wasn't allowed to have a hard time bc I fought so hard to get her. But that's not true.
Take it easy and try to enjoy your newborn. They grow up way too fast.

BabyKsMommy · June 2014

I think because I had a somewhat normal pregnancy and I had lots of friends pg around the same time I guess I just felt like a ftm. I knew I probably wasn't doing everything perfect or the right way but that was ok because it's a learning process.

Being a mom isn't easy and it takes time to adjust. So make you are allowing yourself time to relax and enjoy your new role. Plus as pp stated they grow super fast so make sure to enjoy this cuddly, newborn stage because it's over soon.

mdiblasi10 · June 2014

Congratulations on your little man!!

You are doing a great job! Try not to be too hard on yourself.

I don't think Infertility necessarily made me feel pressured to be a super-mom, but I can be hard on myself too. I have to remind myself of the same advice I just gave you

kbeach82 · June 2014

Welcome and congrats! What a cute little man :-)

Ditto TJ on this - I think IF made me feel like I didn't have a right to complain, or cry, or ask for help after giving birth. Now that I have BTDT, I know that this is completely unrealistic. Being a mom, especially a new mom, is hard. Enjoy your LO while he is his tiny, new self and try to give yourself a break.

PhillyJ33 · June 2014

He is so stinking cute! Congrats!

I didn't feel the pressure for super mom but my DH probably referred to me as crazy for other reasons. I had a really hard time with BF (not as bad now) and felt like a failure and was nuts about it. I was constantly pumping or nursing to build supply so I barely had time to do anything else for the first two weeks.
Hang in there- you already a super mom to Henry so let others help and put your feet up and heal!

pb_bride · June 2014

Congratulations and welcome! I don't think IF contributed me to want to be "super-mom" - I just think that is a common thing I see these days with modern day women who are "expected" to excel in everything. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE cut yourself some slack. It is HARD work to care for a newborn, and PLEASE accept any help you are offered (and don't be shy about asking for help). I was so stressed out and unhappy the first many weeks after DS was born. I didn't have anyone around to help (except DH) and I didn't want to ask for help. In the end, it was I who suffered. Finally I realized I couldn't do it all by myself and started delegating more chores to DH and others. That helped tremendously.

sunflowermama42212 · June 2014

Thank you ladies for the warm welcome and advice!

kmc84 · June 2014

I agree with all the PPs! Congratulations and welcome!

Be easy on yourself! All you need to do is love, snuggle and feed that new baby

jessica_gail2 · June 2014

Congrats on your sweet LO! He's beautiful! Give yourself a chance to adjust - becoming a mom is hard work, regardless of how you got there. So go easy on yourself.

Welcome to the board!

Jenny935 · June 2014

Congratulations and welcome! DS doesn't need a "super mom" - he needs you! Take care of yourself, and it's ok to let others take care of you too.

Dragonfly1226 · June 2014

Congratulations!!! Your little man is adorable! My emotions were running wild after giving birth. I remember crying all the time. Your hormones are OOC and you aren't sleeping. Try to ease up on yourself. You will never be perfect, but you are the perfect mother for your LO. All we can give is the best we have every day. Some days the best I have feels pretty awesome. Other days - not so much. Don't hold yourself up to an impossible standard. Your baby doesn't. He loves you to pieces already hon. Even when you aren't perfect.

mcgeeva · June 2014

Congrats on your little one! I'm not sure if that is the reason. But lesson learned..take it easy because to make your recovery take longer when having a new baby sucks! I over did it my last c-section because I was on bedrest for 5 weeks and was dying to get out. So give yourself a break and just enjoy your little one and worry about doing everything else in another week or so.

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