If you had awful morning sickness come in

hungryhippo · June 2014

I usually hang out on the Parenting After Loss board, but I'm hoping to get a wider range of perspectives so I'm posting here. I have posted here occasionally during and after my pregnancy with DS who was born Sept. 12. Here is my question: if you had really awful morning sickness, was there anything that others did or could have done to support you? Did it cause you to hate the pregnancy experience and if so, did those feelings last until you delivered? My best friend is 11w and is finally starting to feel some improvement, though not "better," after a month of misery caused by MS. She is really hating being pregnant and just wants it to be over. I'm finding it hard to relate because my experiences were so different but I really want to support her. I suspect she may be experiencing prenatal depression. I'm trying really hard just to listen and be there for her. Any ideas, thoughts, or experiences you can share? Mobile/no paragraphs, sorry.

llybeck · June 2014

To be honest, 11w isn't that bad. I had terrible morning sickness for almost my entire pregnancy, it would get better occasionally but wouldn't stay better for more than a few weeks. I really didn't enjoy being pregnant and it was frustrating that people constantly told me the sickness would stop soon and it never did our when they'd tell me all the things they did to help and none of it helped me.

Some people don't enjoy being pregnant and that's okay, I stopped caring about how miserable it was instantly when I got to hold DD. I'm sure she will too, it's worth it a million times over. I also had pre-e and had to be on bed rest and I still want to get pregnant again! Really, I think the best thing you can do is just ask her if she needs/wants anything and let her vent about it, just be understanding. It ends when the baby comes out so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

hungryhippo · June 2014

Thanks @Ilybeck! I agree, it's totally ok that not everyone enjoys being being pregnant. I do feel sad for her that she not only doesn't enjoy it, but talked about totally hating it. But I'm so glad to hear that despite your terrible MS, you were able to put it behind you when you held your DD! That's reassuring and your advice is helpful. Thank you! Also I'm sorry you had to endure such awful MS.

Meganbryn · June 2014

I really did not enjoy being pregnant. Although I did not actually get sick I had constant nausea. I gained 60 lbs and had the worst acne everywhere!! I felt quite down and depressed at times. What got me through it was feeling her movements and those quiet times where I just felt her and talked to her, and kept that bigger picture in mind. That soon she would be in my arms and it would all be worth it. The beginning is hard especially when you feel that horrible. Hopefully though as her pregnancy progresses, once she is showing and can feel those movements she will start to feel more positive and enjoy some of the amazing things pregnancy has to offer.

DaisyZH · June 2014

I was pretty sick from 6-15 weeks with DD, Zofran helped but not much. I didn't hate being pregnant because of it though, although I have had 3 miscarriages so that may have something to do with it. For people that have not had a loss I think it's just so different, but at the same time I don't want to minimize her suffering if that makes sense.

I think just try and be a good listener, encourage her to speak with her doctor about her emotions and work around what she feels up to. I watched a lot of TV then because I was so sick I felt like I couldn't move around much for fear of throwing up - maybe have some relaxed low-key movie nights, etc. I hope she feels better soon : (

coraggiosa · June 2014

I puked every day of my pregnancy, and I even puked after I delivered. That being said, the best thing was feeling like people cared. My husband took really amazing care of me, reminded me to take my medicine, and brought me snacks and encouraged me to eat as much as I could. My mom was really great as well.

I think the most important thing is to not say crap like, "Oh, it's just part of pregnancy! Buck up" or "If you think this is tough, wait until the baby gets here" or stuff like that. It really pissed me off when people would say that stuff to me. I was MISERABLE. I hated being pregnant so much that I sometimes question whether or not I want to go through with it again.

Salemkitty13 · June 2014

I was sick throughout my pregnancy. Like PP I threw up daily throughout my pregnancy. I started throwing up before I knew I was pregnant, I threw up constantly during labor and for several weeks postpartum.

I agree with PP let her vent and support her feelings. My DH was supportive getting whatever food I even thought I might could eat and never making me feel like 'well you wanted this'. The worst was people who said stuff like "you are starving your baby."

Someone told me later about a relative who had an IV port put in to keep fluids up. If I had known this was an option I would have asked for it. I had this notion that I shouldn't complain. (Previous miscarriage) I would do it all again in a heartbeat, sickness and all.

If you are a good enough friend to ask us about this I'm sure you are helping her more than you are aware. I hope she feels better. Good Luck.

hungryhippo · June 2014

Thanks for all of these responses. I have read through each one and definitely makes sense not to judge her or put "puppies and rainbows" type expectations on her about how she feels about her pregnancy. I admit I DO have a tendency to want everyone to feel nothing but gratitude for their healthy babies because of my loss history. I think I've done a good job of holding this in while listening to her, but I would hate for her to feel guilty about her misery, if that makes sense.

Thanks for all the practical tips and tricks, everyone. And thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm really sorry you were all so sick! For those of you who go on to have more pregnancies I hope things are much easier the next time around.

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