DH crankiness at lack of sleep

tbiscuit18 · June 2014

We have DS in our room more for my benefit and because DH really thought this was the best situation. DS is doing better and his sleep stretches are getting better, but last week a few nights and last night he was up at 3am and wouldn't go back down until 5:30am and of course, he's still sleeping peacefully as I type this. Anyway, the point is that DH flipped out this morning that he desperately needs his sleep and this is completely inconvenient for him, since he's "worthless if he doesn't get the required amount of sleep each night." Mind you, I have suggested one of us sleep in the guest room (me with DS) or, we work on transitioning DS to his crib numerous times. Every time being told no to all of the above. Now this morning he decided that he is going to sleep in the guest room because I apparently "refuse to let DS sleep in his crib." Say what? Oh, and it's ok if he sleeps in the guest room without me, "A lot of couples do it, it's really not a big deal." Not sure who he's trying to convince. On top of him complaining about being tired (and for the record, I don't get to complain that I'm tired since I get to stay home. My job isn't hard.) we had so much rain this past week/end there is only 1 bridge open so his typical 15 min commute to work is turning in to 2 hours. I don't even feel bad for him.

Not sure what I'm looking for...mostly just venting, because I am tired and would love to get some sleep. But I promise, as soon as I close my eyes DS will be wide awake and ready to party. Anyone else feel like their DH is making them feel bad?

rainbowsockmonkey · June 2014

DD was up till 2am this past Saturday night (I had been up since 5:30 that morning). DH woke up at 1:30am and complained about the show that I was watching on tv and asked "if we could watch something else." I told him "Sure! You can change the channel. But you then have to stay up with the baby while I go to sleep!" He rolled over and went right back to sleep. He also kept saying how tired he was yesterday. >:P

Unknown · June 2014

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meli1025 · June 2014

DH has slept in the same room as us twice since lo has been born. When he complains he is tired I want to punch him in the face. I do think it's ok for him to sleep in another room while the baby adjusts to a schedule, but it does suck. My first DS adjusted much quicker and was already giving me long stretches in his crib. This one, not so much. Hang in there, you're definitely not alone!

KBowen715 · June 2014

Screw patience and empathy. I give my husband the psycho side eye if he ever tells me he's tired.

Staying home isn't hard? Next Saturday leave him home alone with the kid/s for 8-10 hours and see if he changes his tune.

LunaBug924 · June 2014

The only thing my DH is cranky about right now is lack of sex. Sorry, but it's going to be a little while longer before that starts happening. Never mind the fact that by the time I get DD down for the night he's already sleeping. On the rare occasion he's not and he tries to be intimate I remind him that I just went through a 2 hour marathon nursing session and that kind of kills the mood for me.

At least we are still sleeping in the same bed and DD is in her own room. I'll throw him a bone and offer some spooning once in a while. He'll get over it.

Luckily he knows better than to complain about being tired in my presence. Sorry yours is being a tool. Tell him to buck up.

PattyTC · June 2014

DH knows he isn't aloud to complain about being tired to me. Ever since I went off about that a few weeks ago he has really stepped up and tried to help me get some sleep. Although he did take DD at 7 the other morning (up since 5:30) and he was so cranky throughout the day. I almost would have rather just done it myself.

tbiscuit18 · June 2014

You all just made me feel a lot better! I was so mad this morning I wanted to punch (among other things) DH. It's sadly reassuring that you are all having some of the exact same conversations.
@anniemore your solution sounds like one might try.

LoveIsAll25 · June 2014

KBowen715 said:

Screw patience and empathy. I give my husband the psycho side eye if he ever tells me he's tired. Staying home isn't hard? Next Saturday leave him home alone with the kid/s for 8-10 hours and see if he changes his tune.

=D>

momthatlifts · June 2014

Mh sleeps on the Couch. A guest bedroom would be a treat. Dd sleeps in bed with me and he is a really heavy and aggressive sleeper. He can't be in the bed with her. I agree with leaving him alone with ds. I called my husband to check on him and he sounded anything but relaxed

ho11yday · June 2014

DH gets cranky at no sex and lack of sleep. I rather have me tired than him due to his b itchiness so after ds2 gets up the second tine, I'll leave the room with lo so dh can get some sleep. This means that I'll sometimes only get 6 hours of disjointed sleep. but dh will complain that because I can fall asleep in 3 minutes that I obviously am not as tired as he is since it takes him 30 minutes to fall asleep. Uh yeah, you get an extra 3 hours and yet you complain?

And then sex. He bitches about the fact that he gets only two handies/blowies a week. Son, that's more than some people get. Be grateful. I much rather get some additional sleep than get you off. He also wants me to initiate it. Really? When there is nothing for me in it? (Other than stopping the whining by satisfying his needs....)

QOTR · June 2014

DH isn't complaining about it, but he is requiring a surprising amount of sleep. He normally is up until midnight on weekdays and much later on weekends, so I feel like he is getting the same amount of sleep now as he previously did, but he often comments about being sleepy and is napping more than usual. I'm getting much less sleep than I'm accustomed to, but don't always manage a nap each day. I think with him, that the emotional stress of having a new baby is wearing him out. I know when I'm under stress that I require more sleep.

jjtyler · June 2014

Oh, is he tired. Did he spend the past 10+ months growing, birthing, and taking care of a baby and most of its needs? Did he either get laid on a table and have surgery or push a 7-10 lb thing out of his man hole?

He didn't?

Then he needs to shut it. And learn to sleep with his eyes open.

JMHO

BeesKnees181 · June 2014

Why didn't I read this thread earlier? Loving these stories...reassuring that my DH is not the only myopic male out there. I have done every MOTN feeding with our twin girls since the beginning. I have only asked for his help 3 times. His bitchiness and attitude are not tolerated anymore. We had a come to Jesus talk about the attitude recently....as in "I don't appreciate your 6-8 hour sleeping attitude when I am here getting maybe / on a good night 3 hours in a stretch. Shut it." And then he tells me he needs more time to go walk the dogs or boat. My eyes couldn't roll anymore without violently popping out of my head. My response, "Wow, pretty cool you have the energy to partake in your favorite activities...I would much rather sleep in my free time." Think he felt guilty?

stephierd81 · June 2014

Yeah. My DH has been on my last nerve many many many many many times lately (or hell, through a lot of pregnancy too-- who am I kidding? Ha).
My fave is when he repeatedly stays up late watching sports (we've had college World Series and World Cup most recently) when I have LO and he could be resting and THEN bitches about being tired the next day.
I. Can't. Even. Explain. To. Him. How. Much. Of. An. Idiot. He's. Been . Lately.

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