XP: Loss mentioned - possible vanishing twin

overwhelmed29 · June 2014

Well, I found out yesterday at my anatomy scan (19 weeks 2 days) that I lost my little baby B around 8 1/2 - 9 weeks. What is strange is that I had an u/s done at 8 1/2 weeks and that baby was measuring ahead but its gestational sac was measuring two weeks behind. My dr never discussed this, I just got the the report via email. I called and spoke to my dr and another dr about it and both were sure that baby B was fine, they said it's common in twin pregnancies...

Fastforward to my 16 week apt, I asked about weight gain because i was only gaining 1/2 lb per week. He said that it was fine and we'd both be happy if I had a 6 1/2 lb baby. I said, uh, do you mean two 6 1/2 lb babies or a total baby weight of 6 1/2 lbs and then he starting back pedaling and confused my husband and I.

Now FF again to yesterday for my U/S. We get to the apt and I hand the tech my script. We hear her on the phone say, "this is a script for a single baby anatomy scan, i need a script for a twin scan". So she measured baby A and he/she was moving all around and is measuring perfectly. She then puts the u/s wand down and says I hate to be the one to tell you this but... Baby B didn't make it.. WTF. Did my dr know something and not tell me? She called the dr and had him waiting on the phone. He wasn't sympathetic at all and just said it happens. I asked what about baby A, will he/she be affected. He said, "probably not" again WTF.. I'm so scared to lose this baby. I have an apt today with my DR and I don't know what's goign to happen but this will be the last I see him.

Robeano · June 2014

Wow. I am so sorry!! What a horrible doctor! Sorry you had to go through this. Glad you're looking at getting a new one!

Siona1976 · June 2014

First, I am so sorry!!! I can't believe how unprofessional your doctor was. Did you have an u/s at the 16 weeks appointment or did they just use the Doppler? I would think your doctor would have better communicated this information to you. . .especially if he knew something or had a 'hunch'. Glad to hear that you aren't taking any more of this crap from him and are looking for a new doctor. I hope you find a new doctor that can answer all of your questions, provide the right information at the right time, and effectively communicate to you! Best of luck!

freakyfast · June 2014

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you are getting a new doctor. Bed side manner is important! ((hugs))

Grateful&Thankful · June 2014

I am sorry for your loss. That doctor sounds awful. "It happens" is not good enough! I'm glad you will be seeing a new doctor.

ttuprincess · June 2014

So sorry for your loss. What a terrible way to find out. Glad you are moving to a different doctor. Sending you big creepy internet ((hugs))

overwhelmed29 · June 2014

Thank you all so much. It's so hard after preparing mentally for two this whole time.

Siona1976 , i did not have an u/s at my 16 week apt. He wouldn't give me one after the one I had at 8 1/2 weeks with spotting even though the baby's sac was small and I had a miscarriage before.

indianaalum · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss and sorry your doctor was so cold about it. I also had a vanishing twin but my doctor was very calm and supportive about it.

ccam · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss and the awful way that you found out.

rox825 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you find a more supportive doctor for the rest of your pregnancy.

jaytee16 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm so sorry about how you found out. I'm glad you're switching doctors, I hope you have a much better experience with this new one.

orange1414 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you're changing doctors. That's just horrible.

tarala · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. You are smart for switching doctors. I wouldn't stay with them either.

formerwigirl · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss and hope you can find a better doctor.

Mrs.McIrish · June 2014

I'm so sorry. This is devastating. What an a$$ your doctor was.

Praying4Miracle17 · June 2014

I'm sorry for your loss....we lost a twin around 7 weeks (heard the HB and measured OK at 6 weeks). You are further along than I am, but other than a few bleeding scares (which may or may not have been from a SCH), the viable baby (my baby

is doing great. At my last U/S at 14 weeks, the other baby that did not make it was mostly absorbed into the uterus. I think baby A will be fine. Also, when I asked about my loss (at 7 weeks), my RE said that I had a chance of losing the entire pregnancy. It does happen, but I do think they also have to tell you that to cover their behinds just in case.

Neesey · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you aren't staying with that doctor!

lcloffredo · June 2014

Everything about this story makes me sick with hatred for your doctor. I have almost the lowest risk twin pregnancy you could have (weight is the only thing they worry about) and they do an ultrasound every four weeks. I would report all this to whoever listens because it sounds like they were hiding these things from you intentionally. I am so very sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

overwhelmed29 · June 2014

Praying4Miracle17 , i am sorry for your loss as well. It's such a terrible thing to go through.

LindsayF24 · June 2014

So sorry for your loss. I would be looking for another doctor too!

indianaalum · June 2014

overwhelmed29 said:

Praying4Miracle17 , i am sorry for your loss as well. It's such a terrible thing to go through.

I agree that your doctor was cold and switching doctors sounds like a good idea, but I want you to know that I also had a vanishing twin. My doctor was extremely sweet and supportive, but did explain that it is extremely common (more common than people realize) and that most of the time, the other baby isn't affected at all. So far, my care has not been any different because of what happened, either. so he might be right on that part. IT's still never a bad idea to get a second opinion, though

marnief · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the horribly callous way you found out. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful and that your original doctor provides you with the compassionate care you and your remaining baby deserve.

Cutiecruz327 · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry for the the awful way your doctor handled the situation. I would switch doctors too.

lincoln79 · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are switching doctors.

Fwiw, for each of our losses our pastors came to our house to have a funeral service for our babies. It was very important for us to have our loss recognized and a formal way to grieve. If you want that, feel free to do that for yourselves. It can be healing.

(hugs)

dp21 · June 2014

Soo sorry, definitely time for a new doctor.

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