How do you get through? RANT (Preg mentioned not me)

borntorun17 · June 2014

It's defintely the TTTC and the hormone pills ... Combined with being around pregnant women/new grandmothers/new mothers all weekend..... But I think I'm going insane here. Just snapped at my DH and threw a fit for no reason

Saturday was a party sitting next to an 8 mo pregnant woman and across from someone who is definitely newly pregnant (not announced yet). The f*ing pregnant girl kept loudly declaring what she could and could not eat "is that goat cheese bc I can eat that since I'm pregnant!!!" (It was pizza - clearly mozzarella not goat cheese but thanks for the Reminder that you're pregnant)

Then DH best friends wife made a big production about not having champagne or coffee coupled with an elaborate story about migraine medicine. Add on a cute knowing look from her husband,.. Ok thanks, we all read between the lines there. And then today is my mothers friends talkig non stop about their new grand children .

I love these people dearly. But it's just too much to handle. DH doesn't even understand at this point/ god bless him he's so positive. No one gets what it feels like for Your body to just fail at something so natural. Crack heads get KU all the time for christs sake!

I'm at the end of my rope. It's been a year of shit -- I know that's not nearly as long as some others so im asking how you ladies have done this. How do you get through without snapping someone's neck and going off the deep end? How do you handle the day to day? I'm hopeful that these hormone pills are part of my problem and I'm not just all out insane. Therapy hadn't helped (plus I'm a psychologist myself, oh the irony!)

Thanks for reading my rant

BunnyBerry · June 2014

So sorry! I haven't figured it out yet. Like YH, my DH seems to be fine with it all. He'd probably tell me, "Stop picking on the poor woman who has migraines!"

masterofallcheese · June 2014

((Hugs)) It sucks to be around so many reminders of (easy) fertility. I tend to cope with mostly negative behaviors like drinking, feeling sorry for myself and isolation. Positive mechanisms are exercise and going on this board. Sorry also your hubs doesn't realize the toll of being around fertile people - mine is only semi aware of this as well, sadly more snd more as time passes. Definitely vent here, we understand!

CarSaidYes · June 2014

Idk but when you figure it out please share. I honestly don't pay attention to these people. I know I've complained about my friend who I just threw a shower for but I try my best to remind myself that I'm working towards a goal of conceiving and the power of prayer. I try to not entertain them by listening or asking questions about their pregnancy. It's annoying. I hate when they act like they are the only ones that give birth. I call my cousin the golden uterus. She acts her kids are better than anyone else's and that her uterus is the only uterus that can push out another human. IF SUCKS!

Babymilos · June 2014

Sorry you have to endure that. I get it, too. I'm at a particularly low point. Ive found a lot of comfort in my mom an sister, but everywhere I go, I see pregnant people and babies. My inlaws Are going to visit their first grand baby this week. It kills me to look at the pics and be happy for them. But the Facebook preggos are the WORST!!!!!

borntorun17 · June 2014

Thanks ladies- glad to see I'm not alone at this low point. I think we should all add each other to Fb/instagram feed so we can see some more non-preggo things LOL

jencity9 · June 2014

Ugh I'm sorry you had to deal with that. There are no easy answers and how I deal with if always changes, but always it is something I feel very sad about and usually insanely jealous. (((Hugs)))

Jessi0113 · June 2014

Ugh, so sorry and ((((HUGS)))) first of all, and secondly I try to remind myself that I'm still working towards that goal and that because I've worked so hard the eventuality will be that the reward would be so much sweeter. I also keep reminding myself of the blessings I now have ( though on my worst IF days, it's hard to focus on that), and I do like to focus my energy on exercise and being more healthy in general (can't hurt right?) And when all that fails, wine, and uhhh...more wine lol

brazenbiblio · June 2014

It's hard and mostly I fail but sometimes I can distract myself with work, books, puzzles, and alcohol.

Pintobean39 · June 2014

Alcohol!!!

I avoid as much as possible but when I have to be around pregnant ppl I drink. I have friends with little ones and it doesn't bother me but they have been so supportive of me with what I'm going through. I have a pregnant friend that hasn't been supportive at all so I just avoid her. You have to be selfish through all this.

Jmaddiso · June 2014

Oh lordy i know this one so well!! @dm28 i too take to the booze when i can't cope. That and i smoke. Yea, i know i should give them both up while we are trying, but A) i did that for 3 months and it didn't help.

My docs all say that until we get a BFP not to worry about it. Perhaps that's not the best advice, but right now i'm so frustrated that i can't let it go.

I had a loss in February and a month later a friend of mine announced via FB mind you, that she figured she'd tell the world that she's gonna be a mama. Great for her. HOWEVER, (this is where i'm lookin at you @dm28 with what you said about the crack heads....) when i saw her a couple weeks later, while still reeling from our loss, she says to me, "I hope this kid is ok. I was doin a lot of acid and weed in January". I damn near hit her! For real! WHO SAYS THAT OUT LOUD?! She didn't know what i was dealing with until about a half hour later when the words, "I miscarried in February" came falling out of my mouth. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing and i got another beer and went outside. (We were at a bar that serves food, so she stopped in for lunch). I was livid!! What made/makes it worse is that she and i would have delivered a week apart. She can get pg and manage to stay pg while doing God knows what in drugs, and here's me who actually takes pretty good care of herself, and doesn't drink much, nor do i do any sort of drugs and i get to deal with mc.

A month later another woman i know announced her pg via FB on April Fool's day. Which i thought was fake and i posted a pic in the feed that said not to do that as a joke. To think about the mommies out there who have suffered losses. I felt bad after i realized it wasn't fake a few days later. I messaged her to explain. But seriously...everywhere i look my friends are all getting pg with nooooooo problems, no matter what kind of recreation they have.

My SO and i want a child SOOOOOO badly it's hard to see straight. Thankfully he gets my frustration, as he's right there with me in every BFN test i take. He doesn't show it as much as i do, but i can see it in his eyes. When i told him my temp took a dip this morning after 10 days of elevated temps (we were SUPER hopeful!!), i could see how sad he was. It breaks my heart that we are having so much trouble (and now i'm crying). He's an only child, so his parents can't wait to be grandparents. Thankfully they don't pressure us. They'd be happy with one.

Ugh. Sorry this became a rant. Frustrated with you. All of you. I try to be supportive of the preggos when i have to be around them. I put a smile on my face and pretend everything is fabulous and ask them about the bumps and how they are doing. While inside my heart is breaking into a million pieces out of jealousy and sadness because it's not me.

I dig the idea of instagram pals to post things that aren't pg people. We can all post pics of food and dogs/cats. Or cups of coffee or beers!

@NariaDreaming kudos...BIG kudos to your DH for having your back like that!!!

Hugs to all.

kushie77 · June 2014

AlaskaDee23 said:

Riesling....I get through with Riesling

This, I wish we could buy it by the barrel. (((hugs)) You are a brave woman to even walk into that situation. I'd avoid that like the plague.

wishiwaspreggo · June 2014

I hear ya. The weekend I got a BFN I spent time with my pregnant friend who gleefully talked about her symptoms the whole time and another friend with an infant who at the mall kept saying things like "I never spend money on myself anymore now that I have kids" as we were picking out new clothes. Oh, and "I don't know if I can go to that wedding in 3 months since I'm still breastfeeding Infant." Seriously, 3 months notice is still not enough? And then this gem: "My husband is frustrated that Infant always cries when he picks her up since he's gone all the time. She always just wants Mommy!" She said this with an alarming amount of joy and pride. It's her last one and only daughter so I guess she's just really clinging to this baby for dear life. She won't even let anyone else hold her. She claims it's because the baby gets too fussy but in reality I think she just can't stand to let her go. It annoys the shit out of me.

As other ladies say, drink. I abstain during an injects cycle but otherwise all bets are off and I'm guzzling beer. I just rolled my eyes at my friends and changed the subject frequently. They both know how hard of a time we've had trying to have a baby but they never stop to think about what they say and why it's hurtful.

AngM123 · June 2014

PPs have basically covered it all, but in general for me it's a combination of booze, pity parties, isolation from 90% of our friends, avoiding family events, and more booze. And as mentioned, you need your husbands support. You need him to be on board to ignore phone calls from friends, tell your families you won't be attending the BBQ, and be your shoulder to cry on while you spend an entire evening on the deck with your booze....

Want a personalized experience?

How do you get through? RANT (Preg mentioned not me)

Re: How do you get through? RANT (Preg mentioned not me)

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

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Want a personalized experience?

How do you get through? RANT (Preg mentioned not me)

Re: How do you get through? RANT (Preg mentioned not me)

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

March 2014 - RE appt. April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormalMay 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm