Pregnant after a Loss

PGAL Brain at 15 weeks (when will the anxiety end?)

So everything has been going really well at all of my appointments and I have been feeling great (besides the fatigue and occasional lightening crotch episode).  My next appointment is on July 7th.  I don't know why I am so apprehensive about announcing the pregnancy.  So far, my coworkers and bosses now, because I'm a teacher and I won't see them again until September so I felt obliged to tell.  I waited until the second trimester starts.  I'm going to tell a very close friend of mine in person when I see her at the end of the week.  I think she will be very happy for me, because she knows about my first m/c and felt so bad about it.  We want to tell people on FB after our next appointment.  I still feel so anxious that this is the "end", but I've passed all of my loss milestones.  I really really really don't want to deal with another m/c and telling everyone about the m/c, because I already dealt with that before. For loss moms who are farther along than I am (I'm currently 15 w and 5 d), was there ever a time you remember the anxiety lifting?  And thanks to everyone who listened.  It's good to know I'm not alone. :-)
Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


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Re: PGAL Brain at 15 weeks (when will the anxiety end?)

  • ((Hugs)) I am not sure the anxiety ever ends but it gets easier I am 28w 3d after my anatomy scan at 18 weeks it helped a little and then at 21 weeks when I started feeling movement. I still have my days especially when she is being lazy and not moving around a lot but I am less anxious now about loss now my biggest concern is labor.

    Married DH 3/14/09

    TTC Since Jan 2011
    Diagnosed with PCOS Jan 2013
    BFP#1 June 2013/ EDD 2/23/2013 Blighted Ovum confirmed July 18, 2013
    took Cytotec July 20, 2013

    BFP #2 12/28/2013 EDD 9/11/2014 Its A Girl!!! Rebecca Ann!

    Rebecca Ann born 8/31/2014 6lb 1oz 19 inches long 8:55am!!!!


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  • Hugs to you. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I am 20 weeks and we just announced last week because of multiple losses and honestly just being scared to tell because I was afraid we would jinx it. I lost sleep after telling and have been checking him on the doppler more than normal since we announced. We waited until after the anatomy scan and that scan has made the anxiety a tad better but I think being anxious is unfortunately just a part of being PGAL. I keep telling myself that my baby boy (just like your baby and everyone here on this board) deserves to be celebrated and known about. Feeling movement also helps a bit too but I'm at the point at my pregnancy where it's not super consistent just yet so maybe that gets better once it becomes consistent? I think also as a parent it's impossible not to worry and once they are born I am sure we will be anxious about something else. Please know that you aren't alone.
  • Consistent movement was what made me feel better when I was pregnant with DS (had a MMC at 10wks right before I got pg with DS), and then I felt pretty confident from then on. Also, getting to V-day is a pretty comforting milestone. I was having a PGAL moment the other day when SO asked me how the baby was doing (he's out of town this weekend) and I realized I didn't know how to answer because I couldn't be sure. It was a Schrodinger's cat moment! You better believe I busted out the doppler and wasn't satisfied until I listed to the little one's heartbeat for a couple minutes... and by busted out I mean moved boxes around and actually unpacked a box to get to the doppler. We're moving on Friday and it was buried deep! Anyways, all that to say, it's normal but once that baby is kicking the $h!t out of you day and night, you'll hopefully feel very confident :)

    DS born 10/22/2008
    DD born 12/23/2014

    m/c @10wks 12/2007
    m/c @4wks 3/2014


  • JCM285JCM285 member
    Thanks ladies! I am really looking forward to feeling movement. I think you are all right that should help me feel a bit more confident. I think having more time to myself this summer since I don't work July through August should also help me feel better. But seriously, PGAL brain is tough! Thanks and best wishes to everyone going thru similar anxiety!
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


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  • jap618jap618 member
    I don't have any advice but ((hugs)) I hope it gets better soon!!
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink
    --AL always welcome--
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  • rox825rox825 member
    It started to get a little better in 2nd tri, but the big difference has been a good A/S and now feeling the baby moving daily. Hope it gets better for you soon! I had to keep telling myself that telling people won't cause a MC or jinx the pregnancy.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
    Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
    Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)
    Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!

  • megbmegmegbmeg member
    edited June 2014
    I'm not far enough along to give any advice about that, but just wanted to say you definitely aren't alone in getting worried when starting to think about telling people. That is hard on pgal brain. Give yourself time if you need it. And of course sharing your joy can't jinx things even though pgal brain will try to tell you different. Good luck!! I hope you can enjoy sharing the news at least some :)
    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
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  • {{hugs}} for you.  I am on my 2nd go round, too.  I hope to feel better after I pass the milestone of my loss date.  I never got to feel LO move last time, so I am sure I will feel better when that happens.  And I think my anxiety kicked up a notch when we found out, twins..... because of all the extra that brings :-)  But I know I can only take care of me, take my vitamins and try to control stress right now.  I have been telling family, I told them all about our loss last time anyway.... and asking for their prayers.   But I understand the jinx thought, it hit me this evening after telling more family.  I have seen other threads on this and it may never go away for you, or you may find some point where you just feel better. I really think it's so personal to you.  But I know everyone is here on the bad days and also seem to be happy to hear about the good days.  and more (((hugs))) for you :-)
    Pregnancy Ticker
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