Nosy coworkers

borntorun17 · June 2014

So I've had to leave early from work a couple times and take days off for appointments the last couple of weeks. One of my coworkers (who in friends with) has started to get nosy. I've made up benign excuses for my absences but I guess it's starting to look fishy.

I by all means do not want to tell anyone at work what in going through. For one thing, it's no ones business. And I can barely hold myself together most days so I don't want to talk about this at work. This woman is nice and probably would be supportive, but unjust don't want to talk about this stuff at work. I don't want to break down at work - it's already hard enough bc we work with children.

I have to leave a very important meeting early onbthursday for my HSG. I've run out of excuses.... I was thinking of manufacturing a different medical ailment as an excuse

jencity9 · June 2014

Could you just say there are some medical issues you're dealing with/taking care of but that you'd rather not go into detail?

KT416 · June 2014

I agree with JenCity, I would just say you have medical stuff to take care of and don't want to discuss.

My DH was struggling with this too because he had so much testing and SA during work times, that he thought his boss was getting suspicious and thought he was interviewing somewhere else.

It's really none of their business, but you could even just say you have personal stuff going on if you don't want to discuss if you don't want to throw out the word medical.

ronniesgirl1981 · June 2014

TEETH! My fall back excuse is always dental. Dental problems sneak up without any notice and often require multiple appts. I use past dental problems, so that if anyone asks a follow up question, I actually can chat about it. My other go-to is to reverse the question onto that person. If some one says, "I've been noticing that you are missing a lot of time." I would say, "Why do you mention it?" It will probably make the person feel like a stumbling fool and get the point across that this is not a topic for discussion. She'll probably say that she wants to make sure that everything is okay and then you can say that it is.

gsancho · June 2014

I always say I'm having some medical issues. If I know them well enough and I know they aren't the gossipy or judgy type I tell them the truth, but most people shut up when I say I'm having medical issues. If they ask if I'm ok, I say it's nothing serious, but I have to go for a lot of blood tests and follow ups.

CarSaidYes · June 2014

I ended up telling my principals about my mom BC I do attend lots of appts with her but sometimes I say I'm going to her appt but I am really going to mine but then I always do something for my mom (grocery shop, put gas in her car, or something helpful) because I believe in Karma. And funny enough guess what my moms name is.... Carma. Lol.

BunnyBerry · June 2014

I work with a small faculty of teachers, mostly women, and I thought they would be more nosy, but actually when I've had to let them know about appts (because it affects scheduling or I need coverage), I just say I have a doctor appointment.

When I had my HSG during AP exam week and needed a lot of last-minute coverage, I was able to throw the word "procedure" around and as far as I know it was enough.

Probably many guess, since when asked about kids I always say we have been trying for a while and having trouble. I did tell a few trusted coworkers who have been through the same thing, and it really makes it easier for me to know it's not totally a big secret.

siempre595 · June 2014

I use the dental excuse. I've also used the "my husband had a dental procedure under anesthesia, so I have to drive him" excuse. And "I have a family member flying in, I need to pick them up." That's all worked without an issue. A few people know what I'm doing and have covered me as needed. I work a job that is always busy, 24 hours a day, so people always have to come and go for personal things and find coverage from others. It's common to ask someone to cover a few hours for a doctor's appt, so most people have not really noticed, I think.

lebradford · June 2014

For me, I decided to tell my boss and the two ladies I work closest with. When I told them, I also let them know that I didn't want to discuss it. That worked well for my boss. However, one of my co-workers does ask for updates sometimes, which makes me uncomfortable. However, I would still tell the people closest to me again because making up excuses is too exhausting.

Belou52579 · June 2014

I don't work anymore-but I've always had hypertension which at times caused me to have to schedule cluster appointments with different Drs which unfortunately had to be during business hours. People at work questioned me pretty frequently and I did end up sharing some of my issues with them-of course I got unsolicited advise from everyone about how they or their husband or their second cousin twice removed from their divorced aunt on their mother's side dealt with high blood pressure which was annoying but they meant well.

I think IF is completely different though and I wouldn't want to have to explain to anyone where I was going. I do really like the dental route though- that always gets people sympathetic and shuts them up for a while and its usually kind of boring to hear about...so I'd think that was a wonderful diversion : )

Babymilos · June 2014

I always just say I have to have a procedure done...

FLgirl812 · June 2014

Ditto procedure. People will be/are nosy, but most people feel uncomfortable actually asking specifically which "procedure" you are getting so they don't typically probe any further.

nswain85 · June 2014

This is one perk about working with all men, I say I'm having an appointment or procedure and no one asks a thing, lol. If people have the guts to ask you, try and be brave and say it's personal. You don't have to be rude (not gonna lie, I'm dying to just let someone have it one day, lol!) but if you don't want to share you shouldn't feel pressured to do so. Good luck!

lilmamapanther · July 2014

I know what you mean. I just shy I have a doctor's appointment and everyone at work assumes is my diabetes. I don't feel pressure to tell them different either. I told a few friends that I will with because they was starting to get worried my diabetes was out of control. But you should feel no pressure to share if they aren't someone you are close to outside of work.

desertheart · July 2014

Dental is a great excuse. Until you break a tooth the same week as your HSG. Lol.

Lazynella · July 2014

I've actually been having a lot of back problems the past few months so I have sort of prolonged that issue. I leave early often for accupuncture and chiropractor. That's a great excuse bc backs are tricky and often require a lot of manipulation over a period of time.

Want a personalized experience?

Nosy coworkers

Re: Nosy coworkers

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Nosy coworkers

Re: Nosy coworkers

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!