Going gray

welly01 · June 2014

What is your opinion about gray hair in the workplace? Purely from a professional standpoint, not style/fashion-wise. Do you think its important to color your hair once you start getting gray or do you embrace it?

cecilyandgautam · June 2014

Really depends on so many things. I was always mistaken for the (undergrad, 20 yo) intern and it effected my credibility so the few grays I've sprouted in the past two years have served me well and people seem to more easily believe that I hold my title and have some experience to draw from now. But under other circumstances, maybe I would dye them. For now, they're not going anywhere.

dashofreality · June 2014

Hmm, from a workplace perspective, I would say like most things double standards. Totally accepted for guys, not so much for women.

I inherited the lovely early gray gene (like 20s). I am 32 today and I am seriously gray. I also have dark hair. It is just in the last year or so that I've really had to make a decision. Either embrace and go gray, or be a slave to dye every 6 weeks forever. I went with dye. I thought about it, but all I can think about is one of my professors who rocked the gray. She looked good (fit, stylish etc) but I was shocked when I found out she had a 6 year old son. I thought she was a good 15 years older than she was. I can't do it at this point.

MommaP12 · June 2014

I don't know what I'm going to do. My hair is very dark and I've only seen a couple of grays so far despite being much closer to 40 than 30.

If when the grays start coming in more I'm in my "forever job" I would probably let them go. However, as long as there's a chance of me looking for work, I'd dye it because of the double standards and age discrimination that sadly are a reality. I'm not at my forever job, but only have the 2-5 grays so we'll see what happens in the next few years.

litzo27 · June 2014

I think as long as you take care of your hair, whether gray or colored, you can look professional and beautiful. I have seen plenty of women who have longer hairstyles like Hellen Mirren or Meryl Streep (think Devil wears prada look) or shorter hair like Jamie Lee Curtis. I do think that longer grey hair is difficult to maintain because it tends to be dryer so requires extra care. Hence I will probably color and glaze my hair once I start going grey because I like it longer.

Myaflowers · June 2014

I have premature gray hair. I'm 37 and have a good bit of gray and have dark hair, so it's pretty noticeable. Before DD, it was easier to keep up with coloring it, but it's harder now. I (otherwise) look young for my age, so I think it helps my patients' parents (I'm a child adolescent therapist) take me more seriously. I don't get anymore of the 'How can she know what she's doing when she's barely out of college' attitude anymore. Also, if anyone thinks I'm unprofessional because I rarely color my hair, they can kiss my butt!

itsmevkb · June 2014

I'd rather people had gray hair than say, pink. Honestly, I'm not sure what could be considereng "wrong" about it.

I started going gray in my teenage yeas. Yep, you read that right. So, by my 30s I was completely gray. I choose to color my hair because I don't want to be mistaken for my kids grandmother! Perhaps once I'm in my 50s to late 50s I'll let it go and hope I become one of those "older" women with stunning, silver hair.

CarrieB. · June 2014

My natural hair color is dishwater blond and I've been highlighting it for the past 15 years. It covers the grey too. Maybe it is a double standard, but I like my blond hair.

I can't imagine letting my hair go natural at 35. I feel like it's better to have it colored and styled especially for sales calls and client meetings.

shannm · June 2014

I can't imagine working in a place where whether you are visibly gray or not matters.
Having said that, I started getting gray at 22. "Several" years later, I have no idea if I even have real brown hair anymore, based on my roots, I'm guessing not many. So I do dye but that's a personal choice and I can't imagine people at work caring at all.

Helenahhandbasket · June 2014

I don't have any greys yet (I don't think?) but IMO, it's more about cut and style than hair color.

If you have a crisply styled professional looking hair cut, then do what you like with the color.

Long, straggly hair doesn't look professional no matter the color.

welly01 · June 2014

beaubecca said:

Wait am I reading this right? You're asking whether the natural color of one's hair is acceptable for the work place? I can understand asking the question if its rainbow hair or a pink streak or something. But people age naturally and that comes with gray hair. To be penalized for choosing to not spend hundreds of dollars to chemically color your hair or not putting cheap boxed chemicals into your hair just seems wrong to me. If you choose to not color your hair that's your business and professionalism shouldn't be judged based on this. Also, it is TOTALLY a double-standard. I bet you wouldn't even ask the question if it was a man you were thinking of in your head.

@beaubecca, I didn't mean to imply that one was more acceptable than the other. I was just curious if there was a general opinion one way or the other. I certainly don't personally care about gray and in no way judge anyone either way. I tried to make my question as neutral as possible, but I guess I didn't do a very good job.

I'm starting to get a small patch of gray and I've briefly considered dyeing it. But I don't normally dye my hair and really have no desire to start now, just because its so hard to stop once you do. My mom colors her hair because she feels like it makes her look "fresher". She has definitely experienced age discrimination when it comes to job opportunities.

Again, I was just curious how others feel or what their experience has been. I know a lot of people color their hair (or maybe that's my perception) and I was wondering if maybe gray was partly responsible or if women really just like coloring their hair all the time.

dashofreality · June 2014

Oh I will add that first I don't know if it is gray or grey - I was thinking it is grey, but I don't know. Second, I color my grey hair, but it has nothing to do with the work place. I might feel differently if I was 50s vs. early 30s, but I find it doubtful. I think age discrimination is real, but that can be determined from your resume way easier than your hair color.

I just don't want to look OLD at 32. I'm also not sure that I still want to be dying my hair at 80, but I will cross the root bridge at some point in the future.

mlee116 · June 2014

Personally I didn't read the OP as being discriminatory or biased. I thought she was just asking from a curiousity/age/appearance standpoint.

I've had grays since I was in grad school, but my hair is light so its not terribly noticeable. I've dyed it to match my natural color, but it came out mousy, so now I'm considering highlights. Except now I'm pregnant and I'm paranoid about the dye.

I think whatever is fine as long as you maintain your hair. There are several women in my office that are gray and others that dye and it doesn't make any difference. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Personally, I don't like having gray in my 20's so I plan to dye it until I get to an age where I'm confident enough to let it ride

PSU_Texan · June 2014

There is a definite and real bias against natural aging for women versus men. Men look distinguished when they go salt-n-pepper. Women just look washed up if they go gray before 50. I personally don't believe this opinion but it is a pervasive opinion.

groovygrl · June 2014

My hair started to grey in my late 20s and now at 39 I am probably 50% grey. I started coloring in my 20s more b/c my hair was mousy brown and just needed something to brighten it up...then around probably 34 I started having to add color with the highlights to cover the grey

. It sucks. I am lucky that I do highlight blonde so the roots are not quite as obvious. I feel for dark haired women who grey early.

Regarding professionalism, to me it is more about haircut/grooming/taking care of your hair, etc than color. Many women pull off grey hair beautifully...though I think some greys are more attractive than others, but again that has nothing to do w/ professionalism.

And to the pp re gray & grey I am pretty sure either is acceptable. I happen to prefer the e spelling for some reason

emberlee3 · June 2014

I see a lot of professional women with beautiful gray hair. I started getting highlights because, after having kids, my hair turned really mousy brown. I get blonde highlights that cover most of the gray hair.

SoMoNY · June 2014

I work in media where there is a huge bias against people based on age so yes I cover my grays.

I know plenty of women that found them selves looking for work and first thing recruiter told them was to get hair professionally covered if they really wanted to land a new gig.

I'm sure in other industries its fine or even advantagous to go grey but not in media & tech.

Tink112011 · June 2014

It depends on your age. At 29, I'm starting to sprout gray hairs. It won't be long before I'm dying to cover it up. We have a 28 year old in our office who is pretty gray, and it looks..... weird. She is young and spunky and fashionable, with wirey gray hairs sticking out. It doesn't change my professional opinion of her, but its not a look that I prefer for myself.

Avion22 · June 2014

I've been going grey since I was 20. At 33, I'm mostly grey, I think...I've been covering it. And my hair is dark, so I get my roots done every 3 weeks. It's annoying. I'm more worried about what's going to happen as I get older though. There's no easy way to stop coloring without having really obvious roots, and I don't want to be one of those older ladies who obviously has dyed dark hair. Hopefully I find a colorist with some good ideas! I have a while though....maybe 20 years?

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