Breastfeeding

In Need of Pep Talk if Not Advice

Hi Ladies.

I just had my second baby on Thursday. With my son, we nursed till 19 months with zero problems and I totally took it for granted. Baby girl is having epic issues. Maybe you could give me a pep talk or some advice? I have a call in to an LC as well as a pedi appt tomorrow but in the meantime I am extremely depressed over this situation and feeling discouraged.

First off, I think baby girl has her nights & days mixed, which is no big deal, in theory. Except, starting at about 10 each night she switches from sleeping allllllll day and needing to be woken up, to screaming at the top of her lungs in frustration. She will be bright red and screaming for 4-7 hours starting night before last.

I haven't eaten any "difficult" foods. Her latch is getting progressively worse to where she now doesn't even want to nurse during the day. I am waking her after 3 hours which seems like forever since she is only a few days old and it is still extreme work to get her to wake (nakedness, cold washcloth at one point, rubbing her clavicle, etc.)

She has a small smidge of jaundice (not enough to seek treatment) so I am afraid if it gets worse she will be harder to wake and become lethargic.

Against my better judgement I allowed to supplements, one last night and one the night before, just because I was concerned about her nutrition. I would give her a small amount of formula then place her on the breast. First night she took a couple of ML and last night she took the entire mini bottle plus did a poor job nursing on both breasts.

I don't want to give up, as I am passionate about nursing. But this is causing depression for me as well as stress for me and baby. So any advice or pep talking is appreciated.
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Re: In Need of Pep Talk if Not Advice

  • RDK24RDK24 member
    First off, remember how crazy postpartum hormones (and sleep-deprivation!) can make a person. This will all feel a lot better once you get over the newborn hump. Second, don't beat yourself up over supplementing. When my LO was born she had a small bottle of formula in the hospital before my milk came in and I was an emotional mess over it. She's almost 11 months now and we're still going strong with the BFing.

    Starting with a LC is great -- you'll probably have a much better sense of what's what after you see her.

    Be sure to pump if you're supplementing with formula since your supply is established by these early days. I'd also suggest putting the baby to the breast more often than every 2-3 hours. Try at different times, when the baby is in different moods, etc. Once your LO gets into the rhythm of nursing, things may improve if there's so other issue (which the LC should be able to tell you).

    Nature makes us forget the newborn hardships so that we'll go on to have more babies. ;) So even though you had less difficulty with your first, it was probably harder than you remember. I had a heck of a time figuring out breastfeeding with my DD, from a bad latch to bleeding nips, couldn't wake her to eat, etc. But we got through the hard part and you will, too.

    Hang in there!
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  • Did your milk come in? My LO did this until my milk came in. It made it so difficult those first 4 days that I almost gave up. Have you been to the doctor since you were discharged? Has the baby gained weight? Is she having enough wet/dirty diapers? Could be The baby is getting frustrated because she isn't getting enough
  • RDK24RDK24 member
    Also, I know you didn't ask for this type of advice, but are you swaddling? We used SwaddleMe blankets religiously for overnight sleep (or if I had a hunch that she'd nap for a while) and it helped a lot when DD was a newborn.

    Not that you have time to read right now, but I found the S's in Dr. Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block very helpful too with those middle of the night screaming fits.
  • fsumomfsumom member
    (((Hugs))). I'm right there with you but my son is 16 days old. He seemed to start off fine but then he lost too much weight so we had to start supplementing with formula. He has a weak suck so isn't getting enough at the breasts. Plus I think he has nipple confusion since a bottle was introduced :(. As it stands, I'm nursing, pumping and supplementing with formula. Just know you aren't alone and you seem to be seeking help immediately which is great. GL.
    ~Jessica~ 


  • The LC at our pediatrician's office was a lifesaver. We struggled with a shallow latch that caused cracked nipples that are just now totally healed and no longer extremely painful. I was so frustrated at the beginning that whenever she would finally latch, I just went with it even if it hurt or wasn't deep enough. So I would say, if you know the latch is bad, to make her try again.

    A month later, we are finally 'grooving' as the pediatrician said, with breastfeeding. I know it's hard, but stick with it because it will get better! And remember that you are a great mom because you are trying to do what you think is best for baby.
  • Thanks, everyone. My milk is most definitely in; I can give her a milk bath and I've even tried spraying some into her mouth to get her interested.

    My mom is at the store getting me fresh pump parts as I type.

    As for swaddling, we've tried but when she is raging she starts trying to break free and ends up clawing her face.

    She is soooo different than my son. He loved to be swaddled, nursed and latched great, etc. I agree that it was probably harder than I recall but that my memory has softened.

    She is almost impossible to rouse during the day. She will sleep nurse semi decent but getting her to actually wake up is not happening. We've tried massage, nakedness and even trickling water on her in a moment of desperation. Nada. Were she not screaming her brains out and wide awake for seven hours last night is be even more concerned about lethargy.

    The LC said she is booked till Monday but we see the pedi tomorrow. He might have someone on staff, I can't recall. He did get all in my latch business with my son so I'm comfortable with him.
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  • Ah, mama, hang in there! I know you probably aren't getting a lot of "free" time with a newborn and an older kiddo, but can you have someone take your DS off your hands during the day for a few days, so that you can hang out in bed skin-to-skin with DD and practice nursing? We couldn't get into the groove until we spent a few days doing nothing but nursing (once we got over some issues at the beginning and were able to BF without pumping/supplementing).
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @gulickr‌ my MIL is here so thankfully I can nap whenever I want. A miracle!!
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  • Awesome! This is going to sound a little nuts, but literally hang out in bed with her, baby in just a diaper, you topless, and nurse as much as you can, even if she only latches on for a few mins at a time. Have your MIL bring you snacks and water, and just snuggle that baby! It'll get easier!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • RDK24RDK24 member
    gulickr said:
    Awesome! This is going to sound a little nuts, but literally hang out in bed with her, baby in just a diaper, you topless, and nurse as much as you can, even if she only latches on for a few mins at a time. Have your MIL bring you snacks and water, and just snuggle that baby! It'll get easier!!
    This. Hanging around topless with my LO worked in the early days and it worked when she was 9 months old and on a random nursing strike.
  • RDK24RDK24 member
    I second this. It may have looked crazy to outsiders but we swaddled the crap out of our DD … super duper tight (double swaddle helps too!) and, like @casey78 's LO, mine fought for a minute, then gave it up and slept the best she'd ever slept. Might be worth another try.

    I got so desperate to see an LC in the early days that I decided to forgo the one I wanted to see (who wasn't available for a few days) and looked for anyone who was available ASAP using this site: https://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3432 Just passing it along in case you don't want to wait any longer to see someone and/or the pedi doesn't help. 

    GL and let us know how it goes.
    casey78 said:
    That has got to be exhausting. If it's worth anything at all, Leah would fight her swaddle and have arms and legs going every which way. We had to swaddle her TIGHT. She would scream for a minute, go stiff, and then give it up and settle in. There were times she we double-swaddled because she would work her way out of one. It felt wrong in the beginning, but it worked and soothed.

  • I'm so sorry! I've experienced my own ups and downs with breastfeeding (as I think most people have), so I really sympathize!

    For the day/night confusion, have you tried feeding by a window? I know it sounds simple, but I read that as a piece of advice to help babies figure out day, and it worked for us.

    As others said, don't beat yourself up for supplementing! It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and there's enough stress right after you have a baby to not let a little formula add to it!

    Hang in there!
  • Thanks again for all the support, ladies.

    I had a terrible migraine yesterday so it quickly impacted my milk supply but I think we are rebounding today.

    Pedi said she is too young to try to put on a schedule in regards to the day/night issue. But he did have some tips on keeping her up more during the day (we are having minimal success.)

    I see a lactation consultant tomorrow.
    imageimage
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