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I miss my pregnant wife during this first trimester

RobinhenningbridgetRobinhenningbridget member
in LGBT Parenting
WE have been TTC for a while and after a miscarriage and ectopic we succeeded! So HAPPY! But I miss my wife. She is exhausted all day and night. Comes home from work and crashes. We havent been intimate in over a month. She's a little crabby and nauseous. She doesnt have energy to spend time with me, my stepson our new puppy and I'm just overwhelmed by all the extra cleaning and care taking responsibilities that have fallen to me. I'm not complaining as much as venting. She has no energy to talk about the baby or our registry or our plans or anything and I just miss her. I hope things go back to normal soon. I dont like seeing her sick and I feel helpless. I don't like not being intimate and I feel lonely. I dont like seeing her crabby and I feel lost. I keep telling our lil rugrat: stop messing with mommys hormones:) 
Im sure I have offended someone and people will say get over it. I just thought look a forum to vent. I am so happy that we are having a child together I wouldnt trade it but I miss us!
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Re: I miss my pregnant wife during this first trimester

  • CageyMackCageyMack member
    I think this is really a normal, natural set of feelings. Say it here, but maybe not to her. :) I feel a lot of the same things you do, and I think it is just part of the huge shift in a growing family. 2nd trimester might not be as exhausting for her (it wasn't for me), and things might be a little less stressful for a while. Good luck! And just keep being super kind to your wife. But maybe get yourself a little reward know and then and perhaps find a friend to confide in.

    CageyMack
    37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.

    5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered.  All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd.  4 fertilized.   Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853.  Yay!


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    "Things separate from their stories have no meaning. They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name. The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.” ― Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing

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  • firstcomeslove2013firstcomeslove2013 member
    Hi @Robinhenningbridget‌ thanks so much for the post! Stick around so we can get to know you. Please post a separate thread with your intro. Thanks!

    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013

    C began IUI's
    7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN, 8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN , Took a break in September and October, 11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN, Took off the month to switch to an RE. 01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014

    03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

    1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.

    Ultrasound at 18 weeks on 7/14/2014. Baby is healthy and growing just as she should!

     

    Check out my blog at: http://journeytoparenthoodandmakingmilk.blogspot.com/

     

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  • trisholiotrisholio member
    Like previous posts said, I think your feelings are normal.  I am sure my wife felt the same and may still sometimes.  We are foster parents on top of being pregnant and got our first placement when I was around 8 weeks pregnant, so we had alot on our plate.  I still crash around 8pm, sometimes I am useless after 6pm and she has a lot more responsibility to juggle.  She has done a great job of picking up the slack, but I am sure there are some days she dislikes it.
    Do you best to take care of yourself and give yourself permission to feel your feelings and process them, talk to another friend, journal, ect.

    I hope it gets better soon for you both :-)
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



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  • blessed2585blessed2585 member
    I am sorry to hear that things are crazy right now. I haven't been pregnant yet so I can't totally relate. I do know that nausea should get better as she gets further along. I will keep you in my prayers!
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  • shelly2314shelly2314 member

    I knew M felt like this during my first tri as well, but there was nothing I could do about it. Unfortunately (and yet not) we are having twins so this is pretty much a staple for us LOL. we had a conversation (I brought it up) when I was having a good day so I could see where she was and how she was feeling. ON the random chance that I was feeling better I tried to do something little or her. It might only be putting laundry away or a handwritten note b/c that was all I had energy for, but I hope it means something

    I think the way you feel is completely normal. It is hard on all involved. I am also sure it is training for when the LO arrives b/c you both will be exhausted and overwhelmed at times. Just know that it will come to an end and you will have her back eventually


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    Married to M and proud mothers to Olivia and Elise (8/19/2014) and to our fur-babies: Capone (pitbull), Jax and Atticus (cats)


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  • TwochickshavinachickTwochickshavinachick member

    You're entitled to your feelings and this is the perfect place to vent.

    As the bio half of our team, I sometimes find it frustrating not having the energy to dedicate to spending the time that I want to with my partner. I can only speak from our limited experience but we've found that it helps to have 'quiet time' together - no engaging, just sitting together whether reading, studying or meditating.  Not having demands made on my energy reserves makes me feel more comfortable, secure and more inclined to light conversation.

    Hope it gets easier for you guys soon x

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