First time mom

anjuhl · June 2014

I am a first time mom at 29, I will be 30 when the baby is born. I am excited as I am afraid. It is also the first child for my husband who is 53. One thing that I am afraid of is him still skydiving because a lot of people are dying this year. I don't want to ask him to give up something that he loves so much, but being that he's already had one bad accident (had to be revived several times and was in a coma) I think he may pushing his luck a bit too much.

Sockgnome78 · June 2014

I would say. Sit down and talk to him about your concerns. Let him know what you are thinking. Maybe you could come up with a plan for him and you. Just make sure you are both willing to talk and neither one of you get defensive about it.

MrMrsandBaby · June 2014

Agree with @Sockgnome78 - talk to him about your concerns. It is the only way to confront something like this. I would even remind him that life insurance is something you should be looking into if you don't already have it and a lot of policies won't cover skydivers or if a fatality is caused by skydiving. This is a big deal, at least for me, and would be a huge sticking point for our family.

Jennifer18131 · June 2014

Make sure he has a good life insurance policy

atraveller · June 2014

OP - I'd sit him down and talk to him seriously.

ADH0906 · June 2014

starla487 said:
Best intro post ever?

Easily.

TheOtherJacobsons · June 2014

Sockgnome78 said:

I would say. Sit down and talk to him about your concerns. Let him know what you are thinking. Maybe you could come up with a plan for him and you. Just make sure you are both willing to talk and neither one of you get defensive about it.

Does that happen in real life? Haha

Unknown · June 2014

This content has been removed.

jusmale · June 2014

I went through this exact situation with my husband 10 years ago. We were both 25 years old and he took up skydiving as a hobby. He went almost every weekend and I would wait at home by the phone for him to call and tell me that he landed. It was terrifying, especially when I would see stories on the news about someone getting injured or killed while divng. It got so bad that I begged him to stop because I didn't want to be a widow at 25 years old. Luckily, he soon realized how expensive and time-consuming his new hobby had become and he stopped going.

anjuhl · June 2014

By April of this year the number of deaths had already surpassed all of last years numbers. As long as I have been involved in the sport I have paid attention to the number of deaths and other incidents that happen to the other divers because the majority of my friends are skydivers. I have already lost one friend this year and he has lost two, both of them experienced skydivers.

anjuhl · June 2014

So I can make things clear, this is ONE of my biggest fears, not the biggest. My biggest fear was not knowing if my baby had some sort of genetic abnormality or wasn't forming properly in the womb. As I have gotten those tests back today showing that he is doing great and that there isn't anything wrong with him, I can cross that bit off the fear list.

vreker said:

This cannot be real. This is your biggest fear as a first time mom!?! How about all the scary things that can go wrong that are not in your control? This is totally something you can solve, ask him to stop.

anjuhl · June 2014

I have talked to him about it and he seems to agree that his safety and doing his best to be there for his child is very important to him. I still worry that this will bring some resentment towards me because he will always be asked by his friends, "why aren't you jumping?".

anjuhl · June 2014

Why wouldn't this be real? I have talked with him and I will continue to talk with him about my concerns. I also know that I can only ask him to stop, I cannot force him to do it. He seems to be receptive to my wants so far and I hope that it continues in that direction.

dorothyzbornak97 said:

anjuhl said:

By April of this year the number of deaths had already surpassed all of last years numbers. As long as I have been involved in the sport I have paid attention to the number of deaths and other incidents that happen to the other divers because the majority of my friends are skydivers. I have already lost one friend this year and he has lost two, both of them experienced skydivers.

Well, if this is real and you are actually concerned, you need to have a serious talk with him about it and let him know your concerns.

anjuhl · June 2014

I'm glad that my worries are so bizarre. I thought this would be a good place to talk to other potential moms that wouldn't be so judgmental, especially when it comes to fears associated with being a parent. Some of my fears may be different from the norm, but I'm sure that every mom has fears that others would find strange. I would think that it would be better to support them and help them through their fears because we all know what its like to be afraid of the unknown.

asarem93 · June 2014

anjuhl said:
I'm glad that my worries are so bizarre. I thought this would be a good place to talk to other potential moms that wouldn't be so judgmental, especially when it comes to fears associated with being a parent. Some of my fears may be different from the norm, but I'm sure that every mom has fears that others would find strange. I would think that it would be better to support them and help them through their fears because we all know what its like to be afraid of the unknown.

This group can get a little snarky, and can be quick to assume someone is doing something for attention , and with good reason. There have been a few trolls on here. So far, it has been a great resource for me and I'm sure for lots of other mom's.
Snoop around a little and see how this group works.
As for your husband. I'm not letting mine do anything dangerous! That boy needs to stayv on the ground so he can help take care of your baby!

just talk to him.

anjuhl · June 2014

I never thought that a person would come to a pregnancy site to make up stories. That is really weird, but thats the internet now I suppose. I'm new to all this message board stuff as people can probably tell as I cannot figure out how to put an actual profile pic up or even one of those countdown things.

TheBenzMom · June 2014

I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband wants to get a street bike and I'm like hell no! It's crazy how protective I feel when it comes to him. I love him so much and just can not imagine loosing him especially being pregnant, it just adds more love and respect for the man.

And yes some woman on here should just not comment if they do not have something nice to say.. But then again some woman just didn't get enough drama in high school.

pnwlover12 · June 2014

TheBenzMom said:
I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband wants to get a street bike and I'm like hell no! It's crazy how protective I feel when it comes to him. I love him so much and just can not imagine loosing him especially being pregnant, it just adds more love and respect for the man.

And yes some woman on here should just not comment if they do not have something nice to say.. But then again some woman just didn't get enough drama in high school.

:-@

Raesofsunshine1 · June 2014

pnwlover12 said:

TheBenzMom said:

And yes some woman on here should just not comment if they do not have something nice to say.. But then again some woman just didn't get enough drama in high school.
:-@

Just a thought but maybe this board isn't for you. @TheBenzMom‌
BC is all nice and sunshiney and stuff.

lrobi13 · June 2014

anjuhl said:

I never thought that a person would come to a pregnancy site to make up stories. That is really weird, but thats the internet now I suppose. I'm new to all this message board stuff as people can probably tell as I cannot figure out how to put an actual profile pic up or even one of those countdown things.

Weird shit happens all the time here. If you check out some of the threads stuck at the top of the board you will see a whole bunch of information at can help you with your avatar and tickers/signatures.

People had to ask more questions because your initial post was kinda of vague and didn't give us the whole picture.

In the future when you post think of this board like a gaggle of pregnant women at the mall or in the waiting room at your doctors office. If you just walked up to a group of strangers and start with that (which hopefully you wouldn't irl) you would get some strange looks.

But if you start with Hi, my name is ___ and I am ___ weeks pregnant. I am concerned about ____.

Plus, if you didn't get the answers you like from this group of women in public would you tell them they were being rude? No, you would probably re-evaluate your discussion.

We are not looking for fights but if you want the help of strangers you have to give us more to work with.

MrsSinner402 · June 2014

Nicb13 said:

anjuhl said:

I'm glad that my worries are so bizarre. I thought this would be a good place to talk to other potential moms that wouldn't be so judgmental, especially when it comes to fears associated with being a parent. Some of my fears may be different from the norm, but I'm sure that every mom has fears that others would find strange. I would think that it would be better to support them and help them through their fears because we all know what its like to be afraid of the unknown.

Calm your tits. No need to get all huffy.

TheOtherJacobsons · June 2014

Raesofsunshine1 said:

And yes some woman on here should just not comment if they do not have something nice to say.. But then again some woman just didn't get enough drama in high school.
:-@
Just a thought but maybe this board isn't for you. @TheBenzMom‌ BC is all nice and sunshiney and stuff.

Seconded.

anjuhl · June 2014

Ok, I'll do a follow up intro. Hi, my name is Ashley and I will be 22 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I hate counting my pregnancy by weeks because I think it sounds silly. I will also not count my baby's age my months after he hits the one year mark because that also sounds silly to me. Just personal preference. This is my first baby and while it wasn't expected, he is the baby I always wanted. My husband is from England, so my little one will get dual citizenship. I have a 10 y/o pug named Milton and a young chiwennie named Ira. I also have quite a few tattoos including a large buddha scene and a couple for my favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut.

lrobi13 · June 2014

^^^Welcome!! I really do hope that impending fatherhood gets your DH to reevaluate his hobby!

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