Late Term and Child Loss

My 41 week loss

** Living child mentioned** I'm glad I found this board. I was a lurker on Dec '13 but never officially signed up for the Bump until now. My story is probably going to be a long one...I'm 33 & have been married for 10 years, we also have a 3 year old daughter named Etta. We live in MN. The day after Christmas I was 9 days overdue & I went into labor. We went to the hospital, I labored for 2 hours - the baby was kicking the entire time & nurses were monitoring for the heartbeat. There were no problems then or during my pregnancy. I pushed for 20 minutes, the baby came out, they put her on my chest, we didn't know the gender so we were focusing on finding out. We were so excited. We swore she was a boy so we were shocked when we saw it was a girl. My other daughter didn't cry when she was born so I wasn't concernd when she wasn't screaming. I held her for about one minute until the midwife said they wanted to look at her. They took her to the warming area in the room. A code blue & code red was called. About 20 doctors & nurses flooded the room. They worked on her for 30 minutes. They tried everything. Finally the pediatrician said "I'm sorry she didn't make it." The worst moment of my life. We were all in shock. Mae Grace, 8lbs 4.5 oz, 21 in long. We decided not to do an autopsy so we will never know what happened. We have never met anyone or talked to any doctors who have experienced death during delivery like this. We assume she had a stroke but will never know. I feel like I walked around like a mummy for about 4 months. I'm starting to finally come out of the fog & live life again. I recently attended a newborn grief group. I felt lighter when I left. It was nice to talk to people who are experiencing the same emotions. My husband & I are lucky to have a strong support circle in our friends & family. But even with that everyday is tough. We focus on parenting our other daughter but we miss Mae every day. We are not ready to discuss another baby. I'm struggling with how we are going to survive Christmas this year. Its hard to believe she's been gone almost 6 months.

Re: My 41 week loss

  • erinelerinel member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group.

    Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38

    Married 5/2010

    January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks

    February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus

    February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks

    My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32 

     


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  • I am sorry for your loss. My dd will be three tomorrow and my son has been gone for three months.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss and to have been during the holidays I especially difficult. We lost Jack the day before Xmas eve and we as well are dreading Christmas this year. Hope you can find this board to be a support for you glad you found us, welcome
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I also have a three year old and know how hard it is to try to be strong for them while you are falling apart inside. We are here for you whenever you need. Hugs

    Asher born February 5, 2011.

    Baby #2 born sleeping at 20 weeks. May 6, 2014.

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Mae Grace.  ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • VyD81VyD81 member
    *siggy warning*

    I'm sorry for the loss of Mae Grace. I hope you can find some comfort here. 
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby girl.  I hope sharing with the ladies here helps you find comfort and peace.

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  • I'm sorry for your loss. I have a 3 year old DD too. We lost our son Nathaniel at birth in February at 39 1/2 weeks due to a maternal-fetal hemorage.

    I wrote a book for DD to help her understand what happened to her baby brother. I can PM you a copy if you would like.
    Abigail Grace 9/7/10
    Nathaniel Willis born sleeping 2/6/14
    Felicity Hope 4/6/15

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Mae. (((hugs)))

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        My Blog

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    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • I am sorry for your loss.  Please know that you are not alone in this.  The ladies have been a great support to me and I have no doubt they will be for you, too. 
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. Mae Grace is a beautiful name.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

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  • Ticker

    Oh! I'm so sorry. It is unthinkable, it should never happen. I'm glad you found us. Here you will be surrounded by women who have lived it as well, you are not alone. I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Mae Grace will be honored here, something I find comforting as well and something your baby girl deserves. Big hugs.

    PS I'm so glad you're feeling lighter. I lost my daughter less than 2 weeks ago after 4 days with her. I just need reassurance that I'll be happy again. Your post broke my heart but also gave me hope that it does get better.
  • Thank you ladies for your kind words. @dadalou‌ -I would love a copy of your book. Thank you
  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl.  Our daughter was 3 when we lost Coraline, too.

     
    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

      
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm new here too and have found nothing but love and support. Welcome.

    image

    3rd pregnancy -- 1st baby -- praying for a rainbow

    #1 EDD 5/2014 -- MMC 10weeks ~~ #2 EDD 10/2014 -- Our baby girl, born sleeping 17weeks ~~ #3 EDD 8/2015

  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Mae Grace. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS

     

     

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  • dmizakdmizak member
    I am so sorry. That sounds so incredibly hard that you didn't know the cause. My heart hurts for you and your family. It does help to have a wonderful family for support, lean on them when you can, that's what they're there for.
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  • WynWyn member
    I am so sorry for your loss. I imagine all our angels are together--loving each other.
  • XathXath member
    ***ticker***


    I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Our angels share the same birthday, a year apart.  I got my oldest this book after we lost her to help explain what happened.  


    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
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  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mae.
  • BgirmaBgirma member
    I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm also a December '13 mom. Our son was born on Christmas Day (two days before his due date) but passed away the day before due to a spontaneous maternal fetal hemmorage. I was just thinking about how unbelievable it is that it's been 6 months. It still doesn't quite feel real at times.

    I'm sending you lots if positive energy and strength. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk more.
  • @gertiebarden‌ - the hospital gave us that book to bring home. It is a tear jerker but perfect for our daughter. 

    @Bgirma‌ - ((hugs)) 6 months today. It is amazing how fast the time has gone. I would love to keep in touch with you so that we can support each other thru the holidays this year. We both have CHristmas angels. I hope today was an ok day for you.




    6 months on 6/26/14

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