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Questionable Nurse Comment

Steph1673Steph1673 member
in Secondary IF
I'm currently in the hospital with my DD staying overnight after her tonsil and adenoid removal. The nurse asked if she had any siblings, to which I said "It's just DD". She said that's ok my son is an only child too, and how he grew up great, just a little spoiled. I thought it was odd to assume that DD would be an only or that I wanted her to be an only, especially when she is only three. The way she said it made me feel like all hope is gone and I should be happy with what I have. Or maybe she was just trying to make me feel better, and am I just being uber sensitive as I deal with late AF yet multiple BFNs, IF in general, my DD's surgery recovery, etc. I dunno, my DH gave her the side-eye as well, so I don't think it only rubbed me the wrong way. I'm over people.
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Re: Questionable Nurse Comment

  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    Maybe she just meant as she's an only child, right now? But I know IF makes you warp comments in your mind, so it constantly feels like people are taking jabs at you. 


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  • Steph1673Steph1673 member
    edited June 2014
    Totally. Surely she meant nothing by it. I guess since she was well past child-bearing age it just seemed like she assumed my fate would be the same as hers, as opposed to someone of similar situation as me saying "oh yeah just one right now, too." If that even makes sense. Again, fully admitting to super-senstivty right now. 
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  • annibesannibes member
    Aww, I'm sorry. I know I would have been kicked by a comment like that, too. Like every time someone says, "do you just have one kid?" I know they don't mean "just" with as much meaning as I always assign to it, but I still hate it.
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  • GraceyandTroyGraceyandTroy member
    Maybe she misunderstood your intonation when you replied that "it's just DD."  Like, maybe she thought you were saying you intend to only have the one.  In any rate, sounds like she was just making small talk and I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed with everything.  
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  • Steph1673Steph1673 member
    GraceyandTroy said:
    Maybe she misunderstood your intonation when you replied that "it's just DD."  Like, maybe she thought you were saying you intend to only have the one.  In any rate, sounds like she was just making small talk and I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed with everything.  
    You're right. It's likely one of the first times that I left off the "for now" or similar, partly because I'm probably losing a little hope. Thanks for the perspective everyone.
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  • MrsLaurenandDanMrsLaurenandDan member
    Ugh. No matter how she meant it, it hurts. :( It sounds like the stress is piling up too.
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  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    I am really sensitive about those comments too.  I get tense and want to run away from the conversation!  ((hugs))



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  • iheartsippycups2iheartsippycups2 member
    I hate the whole "you should be happy with what you have" comment. Who says I am not happy? I went through the same infertility crap with my son, and I am extremely grateful for him. I love my son to pieces. I am not having another child because I think my first one sucks, I am having another child because I want one. I want my son to have a sibling. Geeze!

    Hope your daughter has a quick recovery @steph1673
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  • Bananappeal145Bananappeal145 member
    iheartsippycups2 said:
    I hate the whole "you should be happy with what you have" comment. Who says I am not happy? I went through the same infertility crap with my son, and I am extremely grateful for him. I love my son to pieces. I am not having another child because I think my first one sucks, I am having another child because I want one. I want my son to have a sibling. Geeze!

    Hope your daughter has a quick recovery @steph1673
    I agree. That really pisses me off when people say shit like that. No one says that to fertile people when they want a 2nd or 3rd kid.

    Steph1673 She probably didn't mean anything by it but I know exactly what you mean and I would have thought the same thing. How is DD today?
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  • Steph1673Steph1673 member
    @iheartsippycups2‌ and @Bananappeal145‌ thanks for asking! Last night was rough but today was much better once we got home. Now, any suggestions on how to keep a 3-year old from raising her blood pressure (running, jumping, playing, swimming) for 2 weeks? ;-)
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  • Bananappeal145Bananappeal145 member
    Ummmmm  no. Is that even possible?  Im so glad she/s doing well and on the mend. Hugs
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  • Mantiss81Mantiss81 member
    Mrs Castillo said:
    Maybe she just meant as she's an only child, right now? But I know IF makes you warp comments in your mind, so it constantly feels like people are taking jabs at you. 

    That's so true! I feel that all the time.
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