Who else is not quite ready?!

ashesandpearls · June 2014

Who else is not quite ready for their baby to come? In spite of feeling enormous and uncomfortable?

I will be 37 weeks on Saturday, last Tuesday at my appointment I was told that I am 1cm dilated, 50% effaced. The NP seemed surprised that I am this far along already as this is my first pregnancy. I know it can take weeks to progress through the first few cm of dilation, before labor starts. But, I still left feeling kind of freaked out. I have a lot of things ready for the baby, but I also have a lot of preparation I would still like to get done before he arrives. My hospital bag is 90% packed, but I still have some things I would like to get. My house is only about half as clean as I would like, but I am so tired and uncomfortable,at this point that just keeping it clean enough to be livable seems about what I can manage. The carseat has not been installed. The fridge and freezer need to be cleaned and stocked. Oh, yeah, and we still need to figure out what this baby's middle name is. My DH tries to help with house and such but he has a long commute, so he just doesn't have time to do a lot. I don't have family or close friends near by who might be able to help me out. But, I know I can get everything done, slowly but surely, if I just have enough time. I am afraid I will run out of time too soon.

Don't get me wrong, I am over the moon excited to meet my baby, I just want to be prepared for him. Anyone else feeling the time crunch? How do you stay calm about it while also getting stuff done?

kimeetee · June 2014

Not to minimize your anxiety, but as a STM I'm nowhere nearly as prepared for this baby (and I'm 36 w, 5 d) as I was for the first. I have no idea how dilated or effaced as I am as the practice I attend doesn't typically check until 38 w, and even then I may opt not to get checked. You'll be fine so long as baby has a few clothes to wear, you have diapers and something to feed baby. Hopefully this will make you feel better:

My hospital bag is 0% packed. So is DD's. I want to prepare her one because if we go to the hospital at night, we will drop her off at my BIL's.
Our house is messy. We still haven't even unpacked all of our boxes. We moved in March, but the upstairs painting wasn't completed until about two weeks ago. I still have a ton of laundry to do because my husband just finished painting the dresser last week.
Crib is half assembled.
Carseat has not been installed too. We also need to wash the removable parts.
Food I'm luckily not worried about since my MIL will come and cook for us for a few weeks. Super lucky in this respect. (My mom is coming after, too!)
We have one first name on the list only! But we will like to have some choices, so we have some thinking to do.

I actually usually like to be super prepared, but having done this before, I'm not too too worried. You'll be fine! It will work out. I know it's hard to relax, but do it!

mrscurlygurl · June 2014

I get how you feel. I feel similarly and felt the same with my first. I try not to even complain, lest people think I'm saying I want to be done. Even with the aches and pains and utter annoyance with GD, being pregnant is such a short lived time in the grand scheme of things. I have trouble articulating how it makes me feel, but it's a "specialness" I never feel when not pregnant. This is likely my last pregnancy too, unless we have a big o oops. We're mostly "ready" for baby girl to come set-up and packed-wise, but I still want my roughly two weeks that are left.

abundancenow · June 2014

I can relate to most of what you've described. I am very large and uncomfortable and not getting so much done. I have another week left of work and hope to have more energy to focus on getting my house in better order. I am so tired by the time I get home from work, I just get the bare minimal done with getting dinner together and doing laundry. I do try to accomplish bits and pieces of larger tasks broken in to short time frames when I do have energy.

For example, I feel best first thing in the morning and try to get stuff done then. I am trying to move junk from my guest bedroom to my room, in case we end up needing that room for guests or for me. I will just do about 10 minutes of organizing and then rest and come back later.

I do not feel very anxious probably because this is my second time around. I was nervous about being prepared with my first and wished I had done more prior to delivery, but it's really wasn't very important after baby arrived. I know that I will have time even after my baby is born to get some things done.

Even if the car seat is not installed, after I deliver, I know DH can get it and install it prior to my discharge. This was something my hospital was big on, checking car seats. If it's not done correctly, they will fix it before they let you go.

Just get done what you can, prioritize the tasks needed to be done and focus on being properly rested.

SimpleComplexity · June 2014

I understand.
My crib is only halfway put together. I still need to buy a changing table, baskets to organize, baby books and toys, and a couple pictures to put on baby's walls. I also need to stock my kitchen and find a couch or love seat.
And I'm 37w.

EllaSmella · June 2014

My hospital bag isn't packed, her crib is not assembled (not even here yet!), car seats aren't installed, my house is a mess (hello - a preschooler lives there!), so yeah. I'm not ready. But I also know that I was completely ready by 37 weeks the first time and then sat around waiting for three more weeks. I'm not really counting on her coming anytime before 40w and if she does, all I really need is the car seat.

ashlya1 · June 2014

We are waiting on a closing date, so our house is completely packed along with baby stuff. I am 36 weeks 1 day....LOL! I am definitely not ready. But hospital bag is 75% packed.

Soon2BMrsN · June 2014

Physically, I am so ready. Mentally, I could use another couple of months to gear up for three kids. BUT I am starting to get excited... 2 weeks from today! I really need to pack a bag.

lindslalala · June 2014

In terms of logistics, yes we're ready. Emotionally/mentally? I'm pretty sure DD will be halfway out and I'll be screaming "I'm not ready!".

Emilyfae · June 2014

All of my possessions, including boxed up baby gear, are in storage and nothing will be here for at least 2 more weeks. I'm not worried because I have about 10 onesies, a bassinet, diapers and a boob. I can't pack a hospital bag because I have five maternity outfits with me and don't have anything extra that can sit around in a bag being unused until I deliver. This isn't a "feel bad for me" post. I just want you to know it's okay.

pfeilele · June 2014

I'm 35w 2d and getting induced at 39w. Her room is a disaster, I have the base installed but I have no idea where the actual car seat is, and the thought of scrubbing my floors pretty much puts me into labor. We have so much to get done around the house(painting, projects, cleaning), but I'm so over it. I'd rather spend time with my family before we become a family of four!

mamakiss · June 2014

I'm mentally ready to be done with pregnancy and meet my girl, but she needs knobs in her dresser and my house needs a good cleaning. Neither of those are good enough reasons to be nervous, but I'm a major procrastinator, and I'm realizing now as labor gets closer, how I can't put off labor.

There's a chance if I come back from my dr. Appt dilated tomorrow, that everything gets done this weekend, but I'm starting to get too nervous for labor to do much before then. Maybe the energy kick that supposedly comes before labor will help me out, for now I'm just gonna lay around and watch Netflix.

kmawb · June 2014

Nope, not ready at all.

Don't have my hospital bag packed or a bag for DD ready (the bags are sitting empty on the floor at the end of my bed)
Still need to pick-up some NB diapers
Need to wash a few of the 0-3m outfits so we have something to take him home from the hospital in
Need to move DDs car seat over to the other side of the car and install the base of the infant seat (need to wash the cover etc)
DH and I need to finish clearing out the bedroom that has been used as an office up until now (it's all being relocated to our basement) and start setting it up as DSs room
Need to put the side back on the crib and raise the matress up, but we can't do that until DDs big girl bed is delivered on Tuesday since it is still being used as her toddler bed right now
Need to move some furniture etc around between DDs room and DSs room (glider, baby toys/gear, monitor, change pad, etc)
Get the fridge/freezer stocked with easy/ready-to-go meals
Clean the house and get everything ready for my mom who will be flying out here to stay with us for a few weeks when I go into labour
And so many more little things that I can't possibly list them all here

Such a contrast to when I was pregnant and waiting for DD to arrive, everything was ready to go more than a month in advance!

TurtleMonsters · June 2014

I am "holding" onto it because this is the last time I'm pregnant and I have a RCS date. 18 days until it's over. Otherwise, not knowing would make me more annoyed and wanting it over. It helps being a STM, though.

FWIW, last time I hung out at 1 cm dilated for about a month, ds was 10 days late and didn't fit out. I though it was "any day" now for a month, and that was torture!! You likely have far more time then you think, hang in there.

queenieM · June 2014

I feel like I'm mostly ready, even though the house is messy (we are moving in September so I'm done caring at this point). Most days I even feel emotionally ready, but yesterday was a "shit just got real"moment when I had a false alarm and ended up in L&D. I thought my waters had broke (mysterious trickling down my legs that ended up being something else), and as we were driving to the hospital, I'm like "I'm not ready yet!" Due date's just about 2 weeks away, so I came to the realization that no matter when he comes - early, on time, or late - I'm never going to "feel ready", so I might as well just roll with whatever happens :-)

RKSnyder · June 2014

Yeah, I feel your pain! Got put on bedrest and I keep looking around the house and thinking of what needs to be done. Including a million thank you notes on top of everything else! Oh, and I'm being induced starting TOMORROW night! Def wasn't planning on that decision to come.
I'm just trying to accept I'll get done what I can before then. What I can't get done will get done eventually. I am being induced for preeclampsia so I figure the worst thing I can do for my blood pressure is stress myself out over it (and as a FTM, I'm way more scared of labor than anything else and that's about all my mind can handle right now... Haha).

mrscurlygurl · June 2014

Emilyfae said:

All of my possessions, including boxed up baby gear, are in storage and nothing will be here for at least 2 more weeks. I'm not worried because I have about 10 onesies, a bassinet, diapers and a boob. I can't pack a hospital bag because I have five maternity outfits with me and don't have anything extra that can sit around in a bag being unused until I deliver. This isn't a "feel bad for me" post. I just want you to know it's okay.

Only one?

missyrissy · June 2014

I will be 36wks Saturday and I am 3.5cm and 75% effaced already. I am not prepared at home, but mentally and physically, I am cheering for an early due date considering this my first and I'm bigger than big. She was estimated at 5lbs 9oz at 32 wks, so, even if that is off a bit, her size worries me that such a big girl is going to come out what seems to be such a small hole... Lol! The hospital bag is packed, besides toiletries and meds, baby's bag is packed, but her room and my house are not as clean as I would like them to be!

Emilyfae · June 2014

mrscurlygurl said:

Emilyfae said:

All of my possessions, including boxed up baby gear, are in storage and nothing will be here for at least 2 more weeks. I'm not worried because I have about 10 onesies, a bassinet, diapers and a boob. I can't pack a hospital bag because I have five maternity outfits with me and don't have anything extra that can sit around in a bag being unused until I deliver. This isn't a "feel bad for me" post. I just want you to know it's okay.

Only one?

You never know...

redhotmama7 · June 2014

I'm not ready to be done being pregnant. I spent so long TTC that this pregnancy has sincerely flown by! We also have a ton of crap to get done... Like finishing the basement which should have had much more progress by now... And currently is no where near done so who knows where my parents and DH's parents are going to be sleeping? Oh yea and I have 10 days before my drs dd and 12 before my own calculated one... So holy crap I need to get stuff done but yet I'm exhausted all the time again like I was in first tri... It's not a bad thing it just makes the final preps hard to get done.

We did finally put the car seat in the car this week. But my birth plan isn't written (I'm delivering at a hospital that actually asks for them) and my hospital bags aren't packed... And my house is a hot mess.

Yet all that and I truly don't care because my little one will come when he's ready and I can't wait to meet him

alohababy14 · June 2014

I get how you are feeling. I was feeling totally ready, but then my husband came home from deployment. I've recently started think about how we will never just be a two-some anymore, which was obviously the plan with this baby, but I hate that he was gone for 7 months during the pregnancy because I feel like we missed a ton of togetherness bonding time pre-baby. I had adjusted to life on my own, but now that he's back, I'm remembering how much fun we have together! And even after feeling prepared a few weeks ago, I'm getting to the point of realizing I will never fully be ready because there will always be more to do to the house, more books to read, etc. I'm just trying to remind myself that baby will come, we will figure it out, it will be hard, but it will be worth it.

AKB090609 · June 2014

We are not ready, but I'm sure if baby came tomorrow we would still be fine.

38 weeks today, we will work on getting stuff ready this weekend, as long as the basement does not flood. I'm honestly more worried about getting the dogs appointments at the vet before the baby shows up than anything else.

iris427 · June 2014

I still have a bunch to do but, eh, we'll get it figured out. The baby will be fine if we haven't crossed off everything on the list. A lot of parenthood is winging it when you don't feel fully prepared.

TexasGirl81 · June 2014

We have literally zero done! I feel bad, but just having had a baby 10 months ago, I just have no energy. ***sigh***

Ecomom17 · June 2014

Yeah, I can relate, but for me it's not so much whether we have everything done we want to (which we don't), but feeling mentally prepared. I'm still not too uncomfortable (except sciatica, which comes and goes), so I'm not at that "Oh, God, I'm SO done being pregnant" stage. There is still a lot we don't have done: get out and set up co-sleeper (although we have the PnP set up), clean the house, wash the diapers (I suppose not doing that wouldn't be a tragedy), get the boys' room actually organized, make a bunch of freezer meals, pack my hospital bag...

I do have baby's hospital bag packed, but that's mostly empty to bring home the stuff they give you. I have all the bottles washed (not that they'll be used since I'll be BFing), plenty of clothes washed but not put away, and that's about it. So, the bare essentials. I'd like to come home to a clean, tidy house. Plus my parents will likely be arriving before baby unless he comes more than a few days early.

I also just had the last growth check u/s and was told that I cannot go past my due date (baby's growth has stayed the same but his belly is still small), so I'm kind of freaking out about having a strict deadline! 2 weeks! Sounds so soon!

As others said, though, if baby comes tomorrow we'll be fine. There really is a lot of winging it when you're not really ready for whatever's going on. My biggest worry is what to do with DS when I go into labor. We REALLY need to set up some firm plans in case baby comes before my parents get here.

SweetTamale38 · June 2014

I am still feeling superstitious, so I have been slow to do anything. My husband is running around in such a cute and excited way trying to have every little thing in place, and I'm just kind of dopping around like a turtle in a haze. Today I realized I have just two and a half weeks before our RCS. I can't really believe it. I think I'll get my butt in gear next week. (Hopefully) We do have everything ready...just need a few minor items and to pack a bag.

brittany&dain · June 2014

I feel the same way and I will be 39 weeks on Tuesday! I have been 1cm and 50% effaced for the past 3 weeks now. I definitely feel the same about the house and hospital bag. I feel like once I get one room done and clean DH or DS basically makes a mess all over again

BP607 · June 2014

I'm a STM. We have most everything we need, but the crib probably won't be here until next week or so and I have no diapers yet. Planning a trip to Sam's this weekend. I also have not even packed my hospital bag or the baby's. I might do that this weekend as well, but I'm a little further behind. I'll just be 35 weeks Sunday.

As far as food goes, I wouldn't worry about keeping your fridge fully stocked at all times. DH can leave you for a little bit once you get home to get some food. I was told at my appt with DS that I was going to be induced the next day so we went out and got tons of food and then he ended up being in the NICU for a week, so DH packed food and brought it with him each day to the hospital so it wouldn't go to waste, so I wouldn't fret too much about food.

chevronseven · June 2014

Apparently me, because I had a false alarm this morning and totally panicked thinking about everything I still have to do. Which is why this weekend will be a frantic dash of baby laundry, nursery organizing, and house cleaning!

email2ash · June 2014

I am prepared on the baby end of things but not ready myself. Meaning the nursery and everything is set but I'm not ready to pass the flag at work and our master bedroom move is not at all done.

I have a presentation on Monday for close to 300 and my coworker who is presenting with me is in a complete panic I will go into labor this weekend. I'm not due until July 9th so I think she is safe

alyss0nl · June 2014

Relax! I'm a STM, and I don't have a hospital bag packed, my house is clean enough to live in, and the baby gear is not set up or even cleaned. Just take your time and do what you can, there is plenty of time after baby is born to get things going.

ashesandpearls · June 2014

Hearing from all of you is making me feel better about not being the only one at the point I am at!
I am trying to just do a little bit every day, and allow myself to feel good that some things are getting done, rather than panicking about the balance of things still undone. It is hard for me because I generally have more of a power through and get everything done before I can relax way of doing things.

mustangholly · June 2014

livelaughlove88 said:
Apparently me, because I had a false alarm this morning and totally panicked thinking about everything I still have to do. Which is why this weekend will be a frantic dash of baby laundry, nursery organizing, and house cleaning!

We had a similar experience. We have been cleaning all day and making sure we had all the necessities done.

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