Was the gender surprise spoiled?

kikimeemee · June 2014

I'm feeling all kinds of odd right now. One of my clients is a nurse (on call ER/cardiology I think) and without even thinking I told her abt my pregnancy and showed her my 19 week ultrasound. She said, "I can tell the gender!" I told her that I don't want to know so not to tell me anything. Hubby and I will wait for baby's birthday to find out gender.

She was giggling and snickering and I told her to not say a word. She said, "well I'd know better if I knew where the umbilical cord is." She also said that the Chinese calendar is accurate and earlier I teased that means it's a girl and she said, "well, ok, it's not always accurate."

So with the mention of the umbilical cord location and Chinese calendar being incorrect I feel like this person has told me it's a boy. Am I reaching?

I'm angry at myself but I feel like sharing an ultrasound is so commonplace that I'm trying to be empathetic with myself too. I'm just quite appalled that someone would hint after I've said not to say anything.

As far as I know, this nurse is not specialized in ultrasounds. As well, I doubt a doctor's office would send me home with a photo that was so obvious to nurses, right? I mean, come on, tons of people know nurses so I'm sure the ultrasounds don't show a baby's bits to avoid random spoiling, right? And i feel like I've never heard of someone identifying gender outside an ultrasound office based on a neutral looking photo

I strangely feel angry at this woman for not respecting my wishes. I very sternly told her not to tell me once she was giddy that she "knew." I'll tell you one thing; I've learned my lesson- no more showing off any ultrasound photos to anyone!!

Alid86 · June 2014

I would be highly annoyed - heck I'm highly annoyed for you!!! That being said I wouldn't think she would be able to tell any better than the next person since she is a cardiology nurse. Sorry you have to deal with this.

lizzielu82 · June 2014

This post is really hard for me to read - multiple paragraphs are our friends! :-bd

That being said, I agree with @lissydee and would not worry about it.

kikimeemee · June 2014

Sorry, Lizzie! Wrote it on my phone so I'll go back and add lines/spaces.

I don't know for certain what kind of nurse she is. I just guessed based in her stories that she deals in the ER and cardiology. She's from a different country so I'm trying to leave a buffer for cultural differences. I'm sure no harm was meant but I told my husband and he got really angry abt it too.

I appreciate the comments that have come in. Making me feel a bit better...

carcrashheart · June 2014

Sounds like they gave you a profile pic of the baby. For future reference: don't show it off and stick to head shots. It's not totally impossible to tell once baby is bigger. Whether she is right or not, I have no idea. The angle of the dangle is what tells early on but around 15-16w the dangle either stays or grows in to form the labia.

lizzielu82 · June 2014

No worries @kikimeemee and much easier to read now! Don't worry about that rude lady - I'd say your surprise remains intact.

lizzielu82 · June 2014

lissydee said:

post a pic of the u/s for us! I wanna see if there is anything that is even identifiable!

Agreed and I consider myself an dangle expert

(not really but that would be kinda cool)

Momma&babies · June 2014

I would be annoyed too! Try not to think to much into it honestly, she probably just thinks she knows but she could be wrong. How rude of her to hint like that, you have a right to be annoyed for sure.

kikimeemee · June 2014

lizzielu82 said:

lissydee said:

post a pic of the u/s for us! I wanna see if there is anything that is even identifiable!

-----------------------------------
I can't get myself to post it, ladies. I think I'll be upset x 2 if I post it and someone says the gender/angle of the dangle/pee wee Herman is obviously distinguishable. Maybe I'm manipulating the situation but I don't think I can handle it.. :-/

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

She could be wrong so even if she was giving hints i wouldn't put too much faith in it. But seriously, that would've ticked me off a little if I was team green.

kaimee27 · June 2014

Wow, she does sound rude! If she is an ER/cardiology nurse, I sincerely doubt that she actually knew what she was looking at for sure. She might have had a slightly more educated guess, but not much outside of that. I'm an ER nurse, and there aren't many ultrasound stills (or even most live shots probably) that I could look at and just know-I'd say that's true for most of my co-workers as well. I've even had PA's say they can't read those things worth a darn in any depth-because it's outside of what their area of focus is.

So, long story short-she sounds like a real pain, but unless she's reading ultrasounds day in and day out, I doubt she has any real ability to spoil your surprise for you.

aa98 · June 2014

That really sucks, especially since you asked her NOT to tell you. She should have dropped the whole subject.

At my brother and SIL's reveal party, they had pics of their A/S on a table, and wouldn't you know it, there was a money shot right there (it wasn't labeled or anything, but it was pretty evidently a boy). I asked DH what he thought, and he agreed. We asked my brother and SIL if they knew and they said no, so we didn't say anything, but low and behold, the cake was blue. It was the same at their daughter's reveal, evident though not labeled on the ultrasound. Granted, both DH and I are in the medical field, but neither of us is an ob or a radiologist.

I think though the techs try not to print out pictures of when they are actively looking at sex, it can be evident in other pictures so just be careful who you show the pictures to. We actually ruined our own reveal (didn't have a party, it was just the two of us) by looking too closely at the u/s pictures...

silverwings72 · June 2014

This stinks! She is a selfish biatch for saying that. That ticks me off. Try not to put too much into her comments- I've known plenty of people who work in the medical field who act like they know everything but are complete idiots.

shindylahoe · June 2014

This makes me really want to see the picture. Lol

Either way that's definitely a crappy way to treat someone.

mamatohne · June 2014

I gave my sister the envelope with the ultrasound and prediction inside, one of my bff's were sitting there and saw what it was and asked me "what I want?". I started to explain that "a boy would be awesome for xy&z but a girl would be amazing for xy&z" she cut me off when I was taking about having a girl and said something along the lines of "Ya but just think how much Hudson would like a brother". I was super pissed! I felt like she had basically told me not to get my hopes up for a girl. Turns out, it's a girl. I was shocked.

AnnieRoo13 · June 2014

That's very annoying and rude. I feel like a lot of people who are team green experience a similar disregard from others when it comes to keeping the sex a surprise.

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but my BIL is an ER doctor and told me I should come by one day and he would check out the baby by ultrasound and try to figure out the sex. When I asked if he thought he could tell if it was a boy or girl he answered "probably". So he definitely wasn't certain!

Try not to put too much stock into what she said. She has a 50% chance of being right, but in all likelihood she has no idea whether it's umbilical cord or penis.

kikimeemee · June 2014

Thank you, friends. It's feeling a bit easier to disregard Nurse Giggles' prediction.

turtles7 · June 2014

I would be pissed! I hate people like that. You specifically tell them you don't want to know or hear it and they continue talking. (Ie a show you haven't watched and they spoil the ending. Not that this example compares to the sex of the baby being spoiled) I would disregard what she's saying. She could be saying that to throw you off. And I don't recommend posting it here. While I trust the n14 girls won't spoil the surprise, there might be a lurker who will.

missnacholover · June 2014

Well, she has a 50/50 shot at being right. Still a dick thing to do.

jkrose10 · June 2014

I agree her behavior was rude. All of the old wives tales, gender calendar, and angle of the dangle theory claimed I was having a girl. It's a boy!!

If I were you, I would just disregard what she said. Our ultrasound tech was awesome and gave us about 15 pictures! You can't tell it's a boy in any of them, but the gender was clear on the monitor.

aa98 · June 2014

lissydee said:

aa98 said:

I think though the techs try not to print out pictures of when they are actively looking at sex, it can be evident in other pictures so just be careful who you show the pictures to. We actually ruined our own reveal (didn't have a party, it was just the two of us) by looking too closely at the u/s pictures...

the tech doesn't need to look at the sex for the anatomy scan. It isn't a necessary for any sort of measurements. The scan is to focus on the face, heart, spine, and other major organs (kidneys, stomach, bladder etc). Which is why, if someone says they are team green, then the tech should avoid that area if they could.

Correct, the primary goal is just that, an anatomy scan. That scan is literally head to toe including abdominal and pelvic organs and in those views, sex can be evident even if they aren't specifically looking for it with the view of the perineum, that's all I was saying.

Bethyboo26 · June 2014

I would have been so annoyed! Hopefully she was trying to trick you, because if not... Totally socially awkward and inappropriate.

lesliegolem · June 2014

that is so annoying and rude! Some people have a hard time containing themselves. My tech had a hard time seeing the baby's heart so she asked another tech to help. The first tech was great, knew I wanted gender written down in an envelope in case we decided to open later.

Well the second tech knew what I wanted but I started to get nervous because she got real talkative/kind of annoying. Needless to say on the way out I noticed that I didn't have any pics of the bottom half of the baby. Of course the talkative/annoying tech said "Oh I didn't give you any because then you'd know the gender because you wouldn't see anything there." Needless to say I was pissed! I told them I can't understand ever what's going on in ultrasounds so I doubt I would have known.

Of course we opened the envelope and it's a girl! I'm not pissed now cause I'm so happy about having my second girl. So sorry long story, understand your frustration. But I would just not focus on it because she could be wrong and if she's not, you're having a beautiful baby boy!

But like you said if you don't want anymore spoilers would not show any more ultrasound pics or just head shots like someone else posted.

kikimeemee · June 2014

lesliegolem said:
Of course the talkative/annoying tech said "Oh I didn't give you any because then you'd know the gender because you wouldn't see anything there." d.

OH MY GOSH.

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