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February 2013 Moms
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SIL complaint

MeggiemugginsMeggiemuggins member
in February 2013 Moms
We've had problems with SIL for years, she always finds something to complain about.  this is the latest:

DH's brother, his wife and their 2 year-old live on the bottom floor of our house and we have the top floor.  Our living room is over their bedroom, and they bedshare.  DS is a night owl and goes to bed much later than their DD.  We have hardwood floors and whenever DS drops a toy or bangs it on the floor, it wakes their DD up.  I've tried to limit the hard, bangy toys he has at night, but he still manages to find something wooden or plastic to play with and yes, he drops it on the floor eventually.

SIL has asked us  to put down a mat, and we did  but it was the puzzle piece kind and Nicky simply picked up the mat, separated the pieces and walked off with them.  She asked me a while ago if she bought another one, would we putt it down and I said sure.  Tonight she sent an email that started "Since Nicky continues to bang on the floor with his toys and wake us up with a jolt..."  I love the "continues to" part, like he's a chronic juvenile delinquent or something.  also, he's ONE.  He's going to bang on the floor no matter what.  She suggested that we tape or \glue the mat down.  I'm sorry, but I'm not gluing anything to my beautiful 50 year-old hardwood floors.

What do you want to bet that DS will just bang his toys on the floor off the mat, and it will still drive her bonkers?

No real point to this, I just needed to vent a little.
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Re: SIL complaint

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  • tamarar5tamarar5 member
    I love that she thinks you have all this control to keep your son from banging on the floor. If your ds is anything like mine, if he can't find a toy to bang, he'll grab a spoon or pot. If not those, he'll use his body.

    Is it their choice to have their bedroom where it is, or just strange design to put an upper living room over a bedroom?

    I'm betting you are like me and like to relax in the evening, maybe attempt to watch TV while he is unwinding, etc? Would it be possible to move his evening play time? What about discussing something like a white noise machine running down stairs to help the other little one?

    I get how frustrating it is for you. It seems like SIL will go out of the way to find something to complain about, no matter what you do. And it sucks that she is refusing to do anything to help resolve the issue, other than complain. She's crazy to think you can stop a baby from being a baby. Did she have a mutant sedate child at one? ;)
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)


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  • MeggiemugginsMeggiemuggins member
    Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!  I like the white noise machine one. We already HAVE a rug down in front of the couch/TV, but of course Nicky likes to play in other areas of the room (our living and dining rooms are one big room).  SIL would be thrilled if we just carpeted the whole area, but that ain't happening.  I love my beautiful floors too much.

    @TamaraR4 - It was totally their choice to put their bedroom under our living room - they wanted the big room as their bedroom.  When they moved in years ago, before my time, DH warned them not to, as he was working nights and liked to watch TV late at night, but they insisted.

    I wish we could move play time, but his room is still kind of in transition from an office (his crib is in our room still).  Mainly, we like to spend those after-dinner hours as a family relaxing in the living room.

    I can see her side of the problem too and realize she must be frustrated.  I just think it's hilarious that she thinks I can control my toddler like that.  Especially since their DD has a lot of behavioral issues. 
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  • tamarar5tamarar5 member
    edited June 2014
    She's crazy. Especially since it's her choice to keep the bedroom below your living room! That's just silliness. Maybe your BIL and DH could sit down and iron out "quiet hours" when you will do what you can to keep lo quiet and likewise them. I would have the siblings do the discussion (you called them BIL/SIL). Since your house is conveyed into apartments, maybe you need apartment type rules.

    If they put lo down to bed at 6pm, its uncalled for you to have to make your lo quiet for 3 hours before his bedtime (whatever hours they might be). But what about splitting the difference? If theirs goes down at 6 and yours at 9, what about setting 8pm as "quiet hour" and try to start calming activities like bath time, story time, snuggle time, sleep time? This would give you 15 minutes each of time to occupy LO for the last hour before his bed time, and also keep SIL happy.

    Course, you could also be like me and say idgaf. ;). My house, my kids can be as loud as they want (within reason). Dd has "piano hours" between 10-8. We demolished the old piano and put the harp outside for her to bang to get heart's content. Between those hours. I'm sorry that SIL is being a B! I hope you can find some middle ground that will appease both families.

    Edit because words are hard today
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)


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