Great Reminder-creating a "magical childhood"

Re: Great Reminder-creating a "magical childhood"

• deedee1017 member

  June 2014

  It is a nice article and I get what the author was trying to say, but why does it have to be one or the other?  I also think it's a matter of perspective.

  
  

  We were not wealthy growing up, but I remember my mother making me my dress for my Christmas concert as a kid.  I remember instead of buying all our Halloween decorations we went to the local craft store and bought a pattern and sewed it to make a ghost to hang on our door.  My mother didn't do those things to post it on facebook or anything, but it created wonderful memories for me.  I never had a store bought costume.  One year, I remember my mom and grandmother sitting together sewing a tutu for me to be a ballerina.  I hope I can do those same things as a mother because I will never forget how wonderful it felt to wear something my mom made for me or showing my friends the ghost my mom and I made.  It's not about creating a "magical" childhood, it's about filling your kids' childhood with memories.  

  
  

  The author says that she got caught up in the "Anything you can do I can do better" parent module for "a few years".  I almost feel like she is writing this to make herself feel better about not doing those things anymore.  In a sense, I feel like she needs to make other parents who do those things feel guilty.  

  
  

  I stopped reading about half way through.  I just feel like do what works for you.  Just because I like pinterest and pin a bazillion things I'd love to do for my kid doesn't mean I'm trying to buy her childhood or make her an audience in any way. It's not about the craft being perfect, it's about doing the craft and making a memory.  In that sense, I guess it's a matter of perspective. 

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

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• AmandagStark member

  June 2014

  @deedee1017‌ : definitely a matter of perspective when reading the article. For me, after reading I took it as a reminder of not stressing over perfect parties and crafts and the CREATION of magical memories. I need to let the magic and memories happen naturally instead of stressing so much over creating. I will continue to engage my LO in activities and plan nice parties, but I won't become stressed out if things don't go perfectly. He will have a great childhood whether or not I make a cake shaped like his favorite cartoon (or whatever the case may be). He is loved, warm, fed, he is happy! Just reminders for me, that I'm doing ok even if his room doesn't look like pottery barn
  
  Loved reading about your memories!

  

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• deedee1017 member

  June 2014

  @amandagstark I agree with all of that and what the author was saying about that side of it, but I dont think because someone posts a bazillion pictures of their party made "perfect" by pinterest it's because they just want to show off. 

  
  

  I know I'm not expressing what I mean correctly.  It's like I can still have a pinterest inspired party AND post pictures without my child being neglected.  Does that make sense?

  

  
  

  

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• AmandagStark member

  June 2014

  @deedee1017: totally understand what your saying and agree 100%! I must have glazed over that aspect of the article. Its funny what things we are drawn to and draw from (perspective, like you said) while reading something like this and what things we kind of skim over.

  

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• deedee1017 member

  June 2014

  AmandagStark said:

  @deedee1017: totally understand what your saying and agree 100%! I must have glazed over that aspect of the article. Its funny what things we are drawn to and draw from (perspective, like you said) while reading something like this and what things we kind of skim over.

  It's funny because most of the comments at the bottom agree with the article and then there are only a few who said something similar to what I was trying to say.  Maybe it's me.  lol

  

  
  

  

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• ncase2 member

  June 2014

  I'm kind of in the middle on this. I agree with some aspects of her article, but others not so much. I still want to play with my kids, do crafts with them and other fun things, but I also know that I shouldn't be their main source of entertainment and that I should encourage imaginative play and playing outside with friends. I also know that I want to do cool stuff for their birthday parties, but also know that I have a full time job, a household to run, and don't want to lose my sanity over homemade cupcake towers and making everything "just perfect". I think I get the spirit of her article in that, as moms, we shouldn't stress out about making everything perfect and just enjoy.

  Welcome Daniel!

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• AmandagStark member

  June 2014

  @crunchymama11‌ : it did turn me off a little when the writer stated, "my parents hardly played with us..." Or whatever she said.
  
  Like you stated, I too will craft, engage my son in play, reading, etc. because that's the type of parent I want to be, but I won't stress about creating a "perfect" childhood, because like the author said, some credit needs to be given to childhood (in general) being amazing without perfection.

  

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• ballygirl member

  June 2014 edited June 2014

  I can see where she's coming from.  My parents didn't 'play' with me once I was old enough to have friends over.  We played family games and did family activities on weekends and always read together before bed, but generally after school or over the summer vacation, my mother wasn't out there making up structured activities for us to do.  We just went out and played with our friends and made up our own fun.  I think that's all the author meant. I didn't get the sense that she meant you should ignore your kid all the time.  We did holiday activities (cookies, some limited crafts, make Halloween costumes) and my mom was a SAHM when I was young, so we got plenty of time together and I have plenty of good memories.  But I do remember being bored quite a bit too.  I never liked TV  and often I was the only kid my age around.  Its actually become a family joke about how I used to complain about being bored all the time.  But, there is value in being bored too, and learning how to be alone.  I was so creative as a kid.  I would play by myself for hours, making up games, and all kinds of crazy things.  So many of my most creative moments came out of being bored and letting the mind wander.  Sometimes I think too much structure inhibits creativity in kids.

   

  
  

  
  

   

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• Ballstategrad member

  June 2014

  I think there are some good nuggets in this. My mom, too, made our Halloween costumes, and it wasn't just for us. It was something she LOVED to do. The things that she created were really a manifestation of her love.
  
  As for activity and imagination, I think it's our job to curate activity but then know when to step back and just let the "magic" happen.

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