First Trimester Boredom

rslilly1 · June 2014

FTM here... Quite frankly, this pregnancy thing is kinda lame. I'm at 6 weeks, and don't go to the doctor until 11 weeks. We probably won't "go public" with the news until after that. So right now there's this thing going on with me that I'm always thinking about because I'm constantly exhausted and always thinking about what I can or can't do or eat. But there's nothing to think about because it's too early to really plan anything, and too early to talk to people about it. Basically... I'm bored and ready to get this show on the road.

thegoodpotato · June 2014

I know how you feel. We probably won't be 'publicly' telling anyone until after the anatomy scan at 20 weeks (I.e. Social media, etc).

In the mean time, there's nausea, exhaustion, bloating, expanding belly, and so many other things going on you just want to yell it to the world!

Pregnancy is such a 'hurry up and wait' game. Sigh.

bhjones1980 · June 2014

I see where you are coming from since 1st Tri is sort of a slow time, but I found your post a little insensitive to people who have (or are still) struggling to conceive.

try to focus on the positive, and the fact you are growing life, take this time to relish in the secret that you and your DH/BF/Partner share.

It goes by really fast!

MaddScientist · June 2014

bhjones1980 said:

I see where you are coming from since 1st Tri is sort of a slow time, but I found your post a little insensitive to people who have (or are still) struggling to conceive.

try to focus on the positive, and the fact you are growing life, take this time to relish in the secret that you and your DH/BF/Partner share.

It goes by really fast!

This. There a lot of those who are anxious because of 1st tri losses before and probably won't be 'bored' for a while yet.

If you are really that bored, you can share your news. There is no edict preventing you from telling people now. Also, I find there is a lot to think about in the first tri.

jaytee16 · June 2014

bhjones1980 said:

I see where you are coming from since 1st Tri is sort of a slow time, but I found your post a little insensitive to people who have (or are still) struggling to conceive.

try to focus on the positive, and the fact you are growing life, take this time to relish in the secret that you and your DH/BF/Partner share.

It goes by really fast!

So much of this. OP, of course you are entitled to your feelings and opinions. Sorry you're bored, maybe you can find a hobby.

It has taken me two years and over $25,000 to get to this point. I am beyond ecstatic, I cannot relate at all to your feeling of boredom. I just keep praying every day that this pregnancy is a long, happy and healthy one.

rslilly1 · June 2014

There a lot of those who are anxious because of 1st tri losses before and probably won't be 'bored' for a while yet.

I honestly think this is a big part of it. I think I feel like I'm not allowed to get excited. I guess I just don't know how to feel.

missbelter · June 2014

Wow....I'm Sure You Didn't Mean To Be Insensitive But I Found Your Post To Be. It Has Taken Me 4 Years And Countless Amounts Of $$ To Get To This Point. As A Woman Who Has Struggled With Infertility And Has Many Friends Who Struggle.....Waiting Is Ok With Me. It Has Taken To Long To Get Here. My Suggestion Is Be Patient And Enjoy The Ride. Some People May Never Get To Experience What You Are And Would Love To.

jaztastic · June 2014

I totally know how you feel... Im on pins and needles, but dont really talk about it to people other than on here. Im so anxious to get to a more comfortable stage of pregnancy which for me is around 14wks. Everyday feels like its twice as long, so its just a big ole waiting game to finally be able to burst out loud and share your pregnancy. I get that competely.

***I dont think OP was trying to be insensitive guys. I took it as she was just saying you go through so much during 1st tri, but most of us keep it a secret, so its a double whammy.***

rslilly1 · June 2014

Isn’t a big theme of pregnancy that each one is different? I understand that others may have very different experiences than I do, but how is it insensitive to write about how I am feeling? My post was not directed to anyone, and said nothing about how others should feel. And in return I get directly criticized for the way I feel. I joined this community because I wasn’t feeling very *connected* to my pregnancy, and was hoping for support. I guess that was a bad decision. I dunno... maybe the hormones are over-reacting.

thegoodpotato · June 2014

rslilly1 said:

Isn’t a big theme of pregnancy that each one is different? I understand that others may have very different experiences than I do, but how is it insensitive to write about how I am feeling? My post was not directed to anyone, and said nothing about how others should feel. And in return I get directly criticized for the way I feel. I joined this community because I wasn’t feeling very *connected* to my pregnancy, and was hoping for support. I guess that was a bad decision. I dunno... maybe the hormones are over-reacting.

No, I don't think you're wrong to write about how you're feeling. For some it is completely surreal, and you don't really feel any connection or *anything* until you hit that time where you're getting a belly and maybe feeling a flutter.

I don't think your post was insensitive.

I understand there are a lot of people who struggle with fertility. But that doesn't mean that the feelings of those of us who get pregnant easily are any less legitimate.

Let's not have to tiptoe around each other, ok guys?

missbelter · June 2014

Rslilly.....I Apologize For Saying Your Post Was Insensitive. I Think Its Just Anxiety And Stress On My Part. Personal And Past Experiences. I Misinterpreted It. I Truly Am Sorry. And To Everyone I Apologize If My Posts Give Them Sore Eyes! Stupid Phone Makes The First Letter Big! Grrr I Hate It!

TAMARAJOY516 · June 2014

I totally get what you are saying! This is my first pregnancy. I just found out Sunday and the days just seam so long because I am wanting to tell the world but I can't. I want to move our office and start putting together the nursery but I feel I should wait till I am further along. I want to think about names but I don't want to get to attached just incase I miscarry.

I'm telling family in the next two weeks but I am waiting to tell the world until after my first u/s.

jaztastic · June 2014

@sugahcookie01 agreed... perhaps anxious is a better word than bored.

MaddScientist · June 2014

I guess the wording of 'lame' and 'bored' in the OP just really rubbed me the wrong way. We are all waiting somewhat not patiently for our first appts and to feel more secure to really find out that there is something growing in there. But, I would never classify that feeling as bored - or that being pregnant at all is 'lame' - many of us have gone through a lot to get here. That was what was insensitive to me.

And, the use of that word would never indicate a hesitance to tell because of a fear of a loss - which is why I suggested she just tell people. I know most (including me) don't want to tell in case something goes wrong - and don't want to untell. But the OP seems like she isn't particularly afraid of that and could get some relief from her boredom from actually telling, which might also help her feel more connected.

We are all entitled to our feelings and can share on here where we might not share IRL, but I still maintain - to use your own words against you - that everyone here is different and you should be a little more sensitive to other perspectives if all you want is people to agree with you.

thegoodpotato · June 2014

missbelter said:

Rslilly.....I Apologize For Saying Your Post Was Insensitive. I Think Its Just Anxiety And Stress On My Part. Personal And Past Experiences. I Misinterpreted It. I Truly Am Sorry. And To Everyone I Apologize If My Posts Give Them Sore Eyes! Stupid Phone Makes The First Letter Big! Grrr I Hate It!

I was wondering what was going on with the capitalization here. It really was hurting my eyes, but now that I know it's your phone's fault, and not you doing it on purpose, it's kind of funny.

rslilly1 · June 2014

Sorry for coming off the wrong way at first. And thanks for the understanding. Let me back up a minute and tell you all where I'm coming from (which sounds like is a very different place than many of you, so bear (bare?) with me):

I know that I want to have kids. I know that when I look back on my life, I will be sorely disappointed if I don't get to be a mom. However, the idea of actually having a baby makes me nervous as hell... How many times do you have to get up in the middle of the night?... What the hell is a bassinet anyway?

But those fears will probably never go away, and we're at a good point in our lives, so hubby and I decided to stop using BC and let "whatever happens" happen... That was about 6 weeks ago. (Wait, isn't this supposed to be difficult? I'm supposed to have more time!) So even though this is a "planned" pregnancy, I still have a little bit of that "oh crap" feeling.

I'll admit, I'm not that excited yet. And I don't "feel" pregnant. I've felt light headed and completely exhausted, but no m/s (not complaining), and it's not like there's a bump to make it feel real. Sometimes I wonder if there *really* is a baby in there. But there better be, because if not what I am being so careful about everything for?

I'm hoping that when I have my first appt and u/s that it will make it more "real" and get the excitement to start. Occasionally, I do start to feel a little excited, but then I wonder if I should try not to be- in case something happens. So I don't know what to call how I feel. I guess "bored" is the wrong word. I wouldn't call it "excited-anxious", but I might call it "uneasy-anxious". So, I just want to get past this stage because I don't like how it feels. And I think (and hope!) that trimester 2 will bring a new perspective.

Edit: And I'm not ready to tell people both because of the "what if", but also because I know that some will be more excited than I am, and that will make me feel super uncomfortable/guilty.

MaddScientist · June 2014

^^ see this is something I think we can all understand and sympathize with. I don't particularly feel pregnant (no symptoms) either. Hopefully a little time will help and it will move quickly for you.

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