Freaking Kids.

Chapter79 · June 2014

I need to vent

Because once I do, I'll feel better. So just ignore me if you wanna.

Sometimes I really can't stand kids. I've realized this since my DD started school. Kids can be so effing mean.

My daughter has been growing her hair out (it's always been a short pixie cut, HER choice).. and this past weekend she asked for a hair cut. She said it was annoying her, and in her words "I love when I have short hair! I want it like that again".. so, we chopped it short again.

Today at the bus stop a kid 2 years older says "why did you cut your hair? You look like a boy!!!! If you wore all blue, you could totally be a BOY today". Jerks have called her a boy before, but it has NEVER EVER bothered her. Apparently, she's now at an age where it does. I saw her turn a massive shade of red.... and my heart just broke. He kept at it.. "you're a boy, you're a boy!!"... I swear I wanted to punch him. I calmly said "girls can have short hair, I have short hair. Girls can wear blue. Boys can wear pink! It's not nice to make fun of someone..." and I pulled my daughter aside and said "please don't listen, you are such a beautiful girl" ... but she just shrugged her shoulders. Then her bus came and she left.

I came home and cried. I know it's such a silly thing to cry over, people will always make fun of her for something. But it upset me that it upset her this time. And I realized I need to have a talk with her- she needed to SAY something. Stick up for herself. It was like she expected me to. But, I won't always be there.

My kid would never make fun of anyone like that. I know she wouldn't! Last week someone was making fun of someone at the playground for their weight (UGH) and she approached me "why are they doing that? That isn't nice.." she knows everyone is different. She knows it's not nice. And my kid doesn't have a mean bone in her body.

I HATE that kids are so mean sometimes. I know they will be. But when it's your own kid, and you see them turn a shade of red.. even if it's just hair,it's such a crappy feeling as a parent. I wish I could hug her right now, and put her in a bubble. I know it's life. But life sucks sometimes.

.... and now I feel a little better, so thank you

Chapter79 · June 2014

Ok wow, that's insanely long.

Chapter79 · June 2014

janineb said:

Hugs. I have so many of the same fears. My DD stood in front of the mirror 2 weeks ago and said I am ugly, I am fat, my face is round, I look like a boy. She is 5. 5! I couldn't get an answer out of her why she felt that. It was either a girl in her class who said she looked like a boy or she was comparing herself to tinkerbell. It broke my heart and I cried too.

UGH! That's so sad =((

Raising a girl is so scary sometimes. And I'm sure as girls we all said the same about ourselves? We STILL do, I bet. I know I judge myself. But when it's your own child, it just breaks your heart. I make it such a point to tell my DD how beautiful she is, every single day. I grew up with crap self esteem, and I hope to try and avoid that so much with her. But other kids who say junk don't help.

I'm sorry your heart was broken too

Chapter79 · June 2014

Thanks guys :x I think she rocks the short hair, too! And it's what she always wants, I'm certainly not going to force long hair on my child who doesn't prefer it. I wish that more parents explained to their children that stereotyping isn't cool.

My husband has an awesome pink dress shirt with pink and blue striped tie that he ROCKS. Is he a girl? You would think that nowadays that wouldn't be so prominent. How many models rock short spiky hair? It's such a stupid thing. I've always made it a point to explain to DD that everyone is different and looks different. Boys can have long hair! Girls can have short. Girls can play baseball and play with trucks. Boys can play with dolls and kitchen sets. IMO, it's such a simple thing to teach a child that cold prevent a lot of issues in the long run.

Helenahhandbasket · June 2014

Sorry! That's so hard. Kids are mean-- I feel like I am already seeing it with other little girls DD's age and I am afraid for what's to come.

Hugs-- just keep doing what you are doing.

PB102012 · June 2014

I am so sorry.... Some kids are terrible. I am so scared to get to that phase where LO will be around people that will say mean things. I am glad your LO didn't seem affected by it though, she's a tough cookie with a good role model for a Momma! Hugs to you.... And I agree, freakin kids.

JackoftheBox · June 2014

Two things.

A) your daughter is adorable! And having short hair as well I know how great it is. No muss no fuss.

Kids her age are jerks.

How is her hair cut now? Like in the pic? I think it's cute! If it's bothering her maybe you guys could sweep her bangs to the side and put in a girly headband?

Chapter79 · June 2014

JackoftheBox said:

Two things.

A) your daughter is adorable! And having short hair as well I know how great it is. No muss no fuss.

Kids her age are jerks.

How is her hair cut now? Like in the pic? I think it's cute! If it's bothering her maybe you guys could sweep her bangs to the side and put in a girly headband?

It's a bit shorter. This was taken Sunday-

She does wear headbands and clips, but usually hates them and takes them out in 30 minutes after getting to school. I guess I feel like I shouldn't teach her she has to "dress up" her hair do to make it more "girly", either, if that makes sense. Because girls don't have to wear bows and clips, either.... y'know? She SHOULD be able to just wear her hair how she wants, it makes her no less a girl.

I might plop her in front of google later and put in "short hair on girls" and show her how many stunning women in the world have short hair. I mean.. hello?

You guys made me feel so much better- thank you!

JackoftheBox · June 2014

Chapter79 said:

JackoftheBox said:

Two things.

A) your daughter is adorable! And having short hair as well I know how great it is. No muss no fuss.

Kids her age are jerks.

How is her hair cut now? Like in the pic? I think it's cute! If it's bothering her maybe you guys could sweep her bangs to the side and put in a girly headband?

It's a bit shorter. This was taken Sunday-

She does wear headbands and clips, but usually hates them and takes them out in 30 minutes after getting to school. I guess I feel like I shouldn't teach her she has to "dress up" her hair do to make it more "girly", either, if that makes sense. Because girls don't have to wear bows and clips, either.... y'know? She SHOULD be able to just wear her hair how she wants, it makes her no less a girl.

I might plop her in front of google later and put in "short hair on girls" and show her how many stunning women in the world have short hair. I mean.. hello?

You guys made me feel so much better- thank you!

Ok seriously i may want to cut my hair like this AGAIN! LOL i had a pixie over the winter that looked just like this and i loved it!!

I agree she shouldn't have to pretty it up. I just thought if she was regretting her decision and the boost of encouragement didn't work that maybe it would help.

jellybean529 · June 2014

Aww @chapter79. I'm so sorry Alexis had to go through that. I swear, our babies getting their feelings hurt by other kids is one of the hardest parts of parenting. You're such a good momma for caring so much! And Alexis is a DOLL. And that cut looks great on her!!

And @janineb How heartbreaking that your 5 year old is already experiencing that kind of self-criticism. She's beautiful!

It's such a scary thing, raising a daughter in a world that always wants to make them feel like "less". I know my DD has had trouble with that too. And bullies. There's one little girl in her summer camp who is just mean as hell to everyone. My friend's daughter was in class with her last school year and this little girl would call other girls fat, ugly, etc and even spat in a girl's face because she was talking to HER best friend. I talked to the summer camp director about this girl and she said she's like that to ALL the kids. Her mom's a total sweetheart so IDK where it's coming from. Kids can just be cruel.

I was bullied SO badly all through school. I started crying and hugging DD when she told me because I know how badly that hurts

Chapter79 · June 2014

On a positive note (literally).. I stick a note in DD's lunch daily for her to read daily. Today it said "Good afternoon, my beautiful! You are my .. (insert drawing of sun with word shine after it).. have a great lunch!" I'm glad I called her beautiful in my note- perfect timing!

Moosesoar · June 2014

I think about this stuff all the time now that I have DS.
My inner monologue: "Will I be able to raise him to respect others? To be Kind? Even when he disagrees with others opinions? How will I handle when others are rude to him? How will he handle rude people?..." No wonder I don't sleep well at night.

People are jerks, even the young ones.

Myaflowers · June 2014

I didn't read all the responses, but I would have been so upset if that happened to my DD. That kid obviously has no manners if he said all of that with you standing right there. Your DD is beautiful and obviously a sweet, sensitive kid who care about others. Be sure and tell her that people who make fun of others obviously don't feel very good about themselves and may have lots of problems at home. I always tell the kids I work with (I'm a therapist) who are bullied that it's usually out of jealousy. You can quote me on this, but most of the girls I see who are teased are the really smart, pretty girls who have lots of friends. The kids I see who tease others are usually the ones from bad family situations who don't do so well in school and feel pretty badly about themselves. Also be sure and remind your DD that being nice to others (like she is) will get you farther in life than acting like that boy (who will end up with no friends if he keeps it up).

Sorry you guys had to go through that. (((Hugs)))

Chapter79 · June 2014

Myaflowers said:

I didn't read all the responses, but I would have been so upset if that happened to my DD. That kid obviously has no manners if he said all of that with you standing right there.

His sister doesn't really, either. She's in DD's class and we went to her birthday party last year.. and when she opened her gift (a barbie, and bubbles) she said to DD "I already have this, I don't want it" .. Ok then. This same thing happened to my DD just this year- she received a book she already has. She opened it, said "thank you so much!" and then later took me aside and said "I already have that book, but it's ok! She didn't know". I really freaking love my kid so much today. She may have better manners than me. She's NO angel, I assure you. But she's caring with manners. I will remember every word of this when her sassy self comes home from school, whines about her homework and gives me tude. She needs to work on her manners towards ME

But impeccable with others.

Raising a kid is hard, man.

Weekly OAD perk???! I couldn't handle this crap with two kids.

cedenton · June 2014

Oh. man. I don't know what I'm going to do the first time I see N get his feelings hurt. I was bullied a lot and I think my heart will just shatter for him to feel badly about himself. That future, hypothetical bully better watch the eff out!

On the flip side, God save my kid if I ever get wind of him bullying anyone.

Ago · June 2014

Ugh, bullying can be so bad, especially when it comes to girls! We have a girl in the neighborhood who is two years older than DD. For some reason, DD adores this girl even though she is so mean to DD. We are constantly redirecting her to kids her own age who are much nicer, but it breaks my heart every time I see this girl be mean to my daughter. It is really hard to avoid her because she is outside all the time and lives across the street from us.

KS02CS08 · June 2014

I hate when boys make fun is girls looks. I don't get why wonder why girls has self esteem issues.

KS02CS08 · June 2014

I hate when boys make fun is girls looks. I don't get why wonder why girls has self esteem issues.

Chapter79 · June 2014

NamasteBiotches said:

@chapter79, how was she when she got home?

She was totally fine

I asked her if it bothered her and she said "moooom, for like one second! Barely even that. I think I was red because the SUN was on my face and I was sweating! I don't care what he says, I know I'm a girl and pretty" :x So uhhh.. I guess I thought it bothered her more than I assumed. And it bothered ME more than her, clearly. We still had a talk about standing up for herself and all that jazz. But I think (I know) I was more sad than she was, apparently.

JackoftheBox · June 2014

Chapter79 said:

NamasteBiotches said:

@chapter79, how was she when she got home?

She was totally fine
I asked her if it bothered her and she said "moooom, for like one second! Barely even that. I think I was red because the SUN was on my face and I was sweating! I don't care what he says, I know I'm a girl and pretty" :x So uhhh.. I guess I thought it bothered her more than I assumed. And it bothered ME more than her, clearly. We still had a talk about standing up for herself and all that jazz. But I think (I know) I was more sad than she was, apparently.

DUH mom it was totes the sun!! What were you thinking?

Chapter79 · June 2014

JackoftheBox said:

Chapter79 said:

NamasteBiotches said:

@chapter79, how was she when she got home?

She was totally fine
I asked her if it bothered her and she said "moooom, for like one second! Barely even that. I think I was red because the SUN was on my face and I was sweating! I don't care what he says, I know I'm a girl and pretty" :x So uhhh.. I guess I thought it bothered her more than I assumed. And it bothered ME more than her, clearly. We still had a talk about standing up for herself and all that jazz. But I think (I know) I was more sad than she was, apparently.

DUH mom it was totes the sun!! What were you thinking?

I know nothing. The 8 year old thing is "Mom, you know nothing. I'm way more smarter than you" .. sad thing, she's probably right hahaha.

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