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2nd Trimester
eiosa
member
My MIL and baby's gender
eiosa
member
My MIL is great. She and I have a good relationship and she is genuinely happy for me and this pregnancy. The problem is that she has two sons and her oldest already has two girls. She desperately wants us to have a boy and tells me constantly that I need to have a boy. When people ask what we're having and she is around she butts in and exclaims joyfully "they're having a boy!!!!!!" and then follows up by looking directly at me and says, "you need to have a boy" or something to that effect. To which I respond that we don't know anything yet and that she is getting her hopes up and could very well be disappointed. (We'll find out June 7th.)
This is my first child, I would like to have a boy as well but if it's a girl I'm fine with that. I'm worried that when we find out the gender she is going to be very disappointed if it is a girl. We're having a reveal party and I don't want her reaction to be a bad one. But more than that she makes me feel like crap every time she does this. It is putting a ton of pressure on me over something I have zero control over. I've asked my husband to talk to her about it but he doesn't want to make waves. I don't want to talk to her about it for the same reason, but I feel like something needs to be done (I'm sure she has no idea how hurtful she is being, but if I bring it up I have a feeling it will sound nit-picky.) Is there anything I can do other than suck it up every time I see her (which is multiple times a week)?
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Re: My MIL and baby's gender
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
^WTS
If its making you upset with her saying it, your DH needs to grow a set and talk to her or you do it yourself. MIL kept calling the twins "her babies" and it drove me nuts and creeped me out a ton. Every time she would say it I would say "No they are MY babies, they are your grandbabies". Never got through to her but I kept saying it. She's a little dense. She said a bunch of other creepy things too but I won't get into that.
She needs to understand you have no control over this and she needs to be happy with whatever you end up having.
OP, I was in a similar situation when we had DS. DH had 6 girls on his side of the family and his parents desperately wanted us to have a boy. I don't remember them frequently mentioning it to us to the point of irritation but we definitely knew their sex preference. What was annoying was that I wanted a girl.
Honestly, if it was a girl, I would tell her before the sex reveal party so that she isn't disappointed during the party. (assuming that you and DH are finding out the sex ahead of time). If you are planning to find out the sex at the same time as everyone else, then given that she has such a strong sex preference, I would re-consider having the sex reveal party or be prepared for her being disappointed during the party. Whatever happens, she will get over it and all will be happy when the baby is born. In the meantime, just ignore her comments or you can tell her that you have a feeling that it's a girl, just to annoy her if that makes you feel better.
I would just ignore her. This isn't something you have control over.
My MIL made some "I hope it's a girl!" comments, but was not annoying about it at all, and I know she would have loved another grandson too.
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
Yikes, sorry, wasn't trying to post-jack. Just saying that unless OP's MIL is really a piece of work, the disappointment will pass.
It's our first baby too and I'm stoked regardless of gender!
Seriously follow the advice from the very first poster. Your MIL is being really nasty about the whole thing.
I really empathize with this, but it's DH's whole side of the family doing it. MIL wants it to be a girl...his aunt is convinced its a boy. They all want to know the sex and WILL NOT leave us alone about it. It's gotten to the point that DH told me the other day not to tell him if it's a boy or girl because he's so sick of them asking and asking and asking. Kinda upsetting, since we'd decided to find out together then do a gender reveal for everyone else.
Thankfully, we brought up this concern to MIL together and the questions have stopped, especially from the annoying aunt. Being honest seems to really help.
Surprise! BFP 3/7/2013, Missed MC, D&C @ 7w5d
BFP 12/10/2013, Natural MC @ 5w1d
BFP 2/15/2014...Katia Elizabeth is due 10/23/2014!
Also, this is just me, but I would be just as annoyed if you reveal a boy at your party and she's over the top excited than if it was a girl and she was way disappointed. But shit like that annoys me.
haha, sorry this is crazy.
I just hope she turns her attitude around before baby comes.