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Junior/senior/3rd?! Name disagreements with husband...

SNail312`SNail312` member
in February 2015 Moms
I'm struggling with this one. When we were in puppy dog love like 5 years ago, we agreed that I'd name a girl and he'd name a boy after himself and his father. (He's a junior) well, my girls name is Emma Kathleen, (.Kathleen is his moms name) and my son would be David Lee the third. I can't stand it. The little boy I picture is not named David. And we made that deal FOREVER ago! But he's still so attached! He doesn't know that I hate it, I just told him I'm hesitant. What do I do?!
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Re: Junior/senior/3rd?! Name disagreements with husband...

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    junebugjamjunebugjam member
    I'm not a fan of husband & child having the same name, but if it's important to him I'd probably cave. David might not be your favorite name, but it's nice enough that I could live with it.

    Definitely talk about it, but also be willing to see his side of things.
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    dreemkin84dreemkin84 member
    You can just explain that you don't want to carry on the name. And that a name should be an agreement between the both of you. But it works both ways. You may have to compromise on a girls name too.
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    wintersong139wintersong139 member
    You've gotta stick to your word. A promise is a promise. Besides, how do you know that the little boy you picture is the little boy you will get? I will admit here that I have dreamed a few times about a little girl (I can picture her face clearly in my head), but I am not superstitious enough to think it is anything more than me really, really wanting kids. (Although wouldn't that be eerie and cool!)

    Maybe it might be a good idea to examine why it is so special to him. Why is he so attached? And why are you so against it? Which motivation holds more value when you look at it that way?

    As a side note, David and Lee and both family names, and Lee David is one of the name combos that DH and I have been tossing around.
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    nnjjnnjj member
    My DS is a third and at first I was not so sure about it now I Love it. My DH will call and say how's James III and I think it's adorable. I feel honored to name him after the best man I know:)) maybe it will grow on you:))
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    jaytee16jaytee16 member
    Hindsight's 20/20 but I'm glad I never made any promises like that. I feel like a deal you made 5 yrs ago should be up for debate, that's a log time ago. I would try to keep an open mind and see if it grows on you. But I can't imagine hating my kid's name, I think you both need to like/love it. Personally I dislike when parents and kids have the same name, it's just really NMS but it is important to talk to your H and be able to have an honest discussion.
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    ambmamaambmama member
    My H's grandpa's first name is Gurdon, and my H's middle name is Gurdon. When I was pregnant with DS, he asked if we could use Gurdon as a middle name. I was really unsure because it's not a modern or classic name, but I ended up caving because it was really important to DH. I have to admit when DS is with his great grandpa Gurdon, I sense a special bond and am happy about the decision, even if it wasn't my top choice of a name.

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    snooks721snooks721 member
    I'm kind of in the same boat as you, OP.

    If we have a boy, H wants his first name to be the same as his. While I do love H's first name, I don't want two people in my house with the same name. The middle names will be different so it won't be a junior but still.... I just am afraid it will get confusing and annoying.

    However, it means a lot to H. He says he's always wanted to name one of his son's after him and honestly, if it means that much to him I want him to have it.

    OP, I think if it means that much to him, let him have it. I agree that I didn't always picture my son with this name (even though I love H's name) but sometimes things don't always pan out the way you want them to.


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    maltwin1maltwin1 member
    Is there a nickname or something you could use? Maybe even something that doesn't have anything to do with David or Lee? I know a friend who is a "the third" and he goes by Tripp. Or Davey is cute.

    Or would your husband consider a variation of David that you like better. Maybe Davidson, Davis, or Dawson that means "son o David".

    Family names can be hard because often they have such deep meaning to one person and none to the other.

    I wish you luck!
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    SNail312`SNail312` member
    Well darn you all and your tough love ;)

    In my family using family names is huge too, just our middle names instead. I LOVE that I'm named after my grandmother. I was hoping to use David for a middle name like I dunno.. Owen David :) Heck, we could do 2 middle names and make it Owen David Lee. The reason I think I struggle with it so much is because how much his father bothers me. We've got VERY different outlooks on life and quite brutally honestly, I don't want my son named after him.
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    maltwin1maltwin1 member
    Its not to late to go back and revisit the subject with your husband. Maybe he'd be happy with the idea of using David as a middle name or something. If he feels strongly about it then I think you have to stick with it, but there's no harm in just asking his opinion on it again.
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    SNail312`SNail312` member
    And this is all just very silly stress until October when we even know the gender! *eyeroll (good lord I can stress myself out easily right now) But thanks for your input everyone :)
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    verna25verna25 member
    If it's grandpa that bothers you, think of your husband instead. Change the way you think about it if it's that important to him. "My son is named after his dad." But it certainly wouldn't hurt to ask him if you can re-visit that conversation and toss a few other names around. Good luck!
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    MrsD4911MrsD4911 member
    Honestly, I had some reservations because DH also wants to have a boy with his name (along with his dad and grandpa). His name is Leonard, and I always felt.it was a little old man name. We are choosing a different MN for LO and I love the NN Leo, so I am now okay with it! Is there a NN that you could love?
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    Mom2DrGMom2DrG member
    DS's MN is my H's FN. H is a Jr and never wanted a third. H's FN is his grandfathers MN. So we kept the name but my son has his 'own' name.
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    mommy5point0mommy5point0 member
    David means beloved if that changes your mind at all :-)
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