SAHMs, give me your wisdom

RondackHiker · June 2014

In about a week and a half, I'll be a SAHM. I know I'll find my own way as I go, but I'd love to hear what you do.

Do you plan an activity every day? How often do you do play dates? When do you clean? How scheduled or unscheduled are you?

martha919 · June 2014

Sorry if my response is totally irrelevant given your LO(s) age(s).

I clean in the mornings because I'm full of the coffee love and have a ton more motivation then. Also, I tend to do better with "to-dos" on Mondays.

DD naps at lunch time, then we do play dates, outside errands, outings, and the like. 1-4 is just about the worst time of day for me and of course, DD is full of energy then. Haha.

Play dates at least once a week, usually twice. We go to the park whenever, and we have a zoo membership so we go a lot. DD still thinks that place is so effing exciting, lol.

Really, it'll depend on your personalities and what works for your fam at the end of the day. My friend has to get out of the house and see people pretty much all day on Monday for her sanity's sake, but she can handle being home allll day just about any other day. However, if WE spend an entire day at home for whatever reason, I lose my mind.

Tl;dr We have a schedule that works for us and you'll find one, too. ;-)

Lolapop29 · June 2014

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I try to clean a little as I go pretty much all the time, so nothing gets totally disgusting.

I don't do as many play dates as I probably should. I have a couple girls from my BMB that are local so I hang out with them about once a month. I just joined a mom club on meetup.com and I'm having a coffee date with them next weekend to meet.

We have a lot of parks and walking trails in the neighborhood so we do a lot of that.

I try not to do a lot during nap time. It's my only quiet time so I try to take it all in and enjoy myself, normally read or catch up on a show.

And lots of wine.

ravenclaw1 · June 2014

I have to leave the house every day

Some days that's meeting a friend at the park, mom group at the hospital, lunch, target, walk around the neighborhood.

We have a good nap schedule down, which is clutch. I am usually a bum during naptime because I like time to myself.

Cleaning gets done when it gets done, depending on our schedule and the need.

RondackHiker · June 2014

ScoutNumbers05 said:
I think my best advice is do what feels right to you and don't get caught up in mom guilt. Whatever that is. If you want to be out and about, be out and about. If you feel like a lazy day, cool, stay home and play there.

There's no right answer here. And stay the hell off Pinterest, your children do not need eighty seven sensory bins. They will be okay.

@ScoutNumbers05‌
Pinterest breaks my brain. I had to delete the app because I kept going back and spiraling and within twenty minutes I felt like the worst mother in the world.

MrsT0514 · June 2014

I guess I can say I'm still a SAHM for the most part (since I only work pt a few nights a week)...but honestly, I'm in a big time rut. Feeling cheaply doesn't help either.

Budget doesnt allow daily trips to the store, so I try to stay away from shopping as a means to get out of the house. We have a playground right up the road which I bring DS to, and I plan to frequent that much more when I start feeling better.

We do Gymboree class once a week, and I'd like to start bringing him to the open gym sessions more often, bc he absolutely loves it.

Other than that, we hang home a lot. I spent a lot more time on my phone (bumping) than I should/like to admit. Ive beeb seriously slAcking on housework lately and I've been napping when DS naps...But again. I have high hopes for the coming months when I get some energy back! Haha.

Sorry this got long. As you can see, I'm still figuring this shit out.

klondikebar · June 2014

We're pretty relaxed in the summer besides the kids' sports. I keep the library calendar on the fridge. They always have activities there if it's too hot/raining or we just need to get out for a bit. We can always fish, hit the park, pick fruit at the farms, $1 movies at regal. Mostly they just like to play outside.

I have cleaners and the kids have chores, but I do spot clean. I get it done first thing in the morning to get it out of the way. The same goes for errands.

I cut fruit and veggies in the morning to be ready for snacks and lunch. And I like to prep dinner earlier in the day as I'm out of energy by dinner time.

RondackHiker · June 2014

ScoutNumbers05 said:
According to Pinterest, I am a shitty, disinterested mother with a filthy and poorly decorated crap shack of a home.

I mean, we don't even have stairs painted to look like children's books spins that lead to a custom built tree house where I serve afternoon snacks arranged to look like Japanese origami and that I scrub every week with homemade vinegar and tea tree oil solution.

CPS is, I assume, already on the way.

I love you.

jorkz821 · June 2014

We have a couple scheduled activities but I find I do better mentally if we do something out of the house daily, even just going to the store. The first couple months I was home with both I went a little overboard organizing crafts and stuff to do to fill our days but it wasn't necessary. She's just as happy colouring or playing with her doll house as doing a craft. Effing Pinterest, man.

Linnea503 · June 2014

Before DS2 (3 months old) DS1 (2.5 yr) and I were out of the house almost every morning at classes and playdates. Now with the baby it feels really hard to do that. We do take a walk every morning, go to parks, sometimes the library, about two planned play dates a week. Both my next door neighbors are SAHMs and we just see each other outside.

We read lots of books, do play doh and crafts, and have lots of unstructured play. DS1 doesn't nap anymore which is tough but he is asleep by 7 each night. I let him watch PBS for 30-45 mins at the very end of the day.

I try to prep dinner during the day, or DH and I just eat after the kids are in bed.

I multitask and clean throughout the day and try to tackle one bigger chore each weekend, but I've definitely lowered my standards since having the baby.

And ditto avoiding mommy guilt! It's my biggest struggle, sometimes it seems like I'm just looking for stupid reasons to feel guilty.

LnR70707 · June 2014

With DS I actually did have a cleaning schedule because I struggled with pumping and finding time for everything, by the time DD came along I was pretty good with my do whateverthefuckIcan when I can schedule. Moms club has been my saving grace this past year...DS has playgroup once a week, then we try to do other outings a few times a week (and yes, the grocery store totally counts some weeks).

chardonnay24 · June 2014

We leave the house every day, but we live in a small apartment without a yard. We'd probably spend more time at home if we had room to run or space for bigger/outdoor toys. During the school year, he goes to preschool twice a week, tumbling once a week, library story time once a week, and therapy twice a week. This summer, I have enrolled in half day camp once a week for most of the summer, music class once a week, and library story time once a week. He also has a couple full week day camps in August, and we've increased therapy to 3x/week.

We have play dates probably once or twice a week and plan outings (zoo, science museum, children's museum, indoor playground, etc) with a friend at least once a week. In the summer, since we have more spare time, we also add lots of park, pool, and splash pad trips.

I occasionally take him on my errands, but usually only quick trips (post office, dry cleaner, bakery). I go shopping on nights and weekends when H is home or when the kiddo is at preschool or camp.

I do next to no cleaning during the day. I might keep the house straightened up, but since we are not home very often, I don't have a lot of time to clean. H and I divide the housework at night after the kiddo goes to bed. I used to have a cleaning lady to take care of the deep cleaning a couple times a month, but she hurt her back a few months ago and I haven't found a replacement. It's on my to do list before the baby comes, and it's the best money I have ever spent.

I do all the cooking, and the bulk of it occurs during nap time. I'll throw something in the crockpot, chop veggies, make bread or dessert, or prep dinner and put it in the fridge so I can throw it in the oven when it's time. That helps a lot because my kid turns evil around dinner time, especially if he didn't sleep at nap time.

klondikebar · June 2014

You might want to look at your home through fresh eyes and do a bit of reorganizing to make your days easier. I do it once in a while. I blindly follow my old routine and don't realize the current setup is increasing work. And having more kids requires a little more efficiency.

For example, we have a nice garage system with plenty of shelving. I had small toys in bigger bins that were bulky and too heavy for the boys. They always lefts items out or piled them up. I bought small plastic baskets with handles from the dollar store. Easy to carry and put away by themselves.

It seems silly, but I can't tell you how many times I have thought, "Why am I doing it like this?"

RondackHiker · June 2014

Thanks for all the tips! I'll read more in the morning.

Whenigrowup · June 2014

I am a SAHM over the summer (teacher) and I get very stir crazy. I will be trying some of these suggestions.

My problem is that it is too freaking hot to go outside during DD's most active time of day. Also, I have a huge bee/wasp phobia and they are (or seem to be) all over the place when we do go out in the afternoon. It does play a role in me not wanting to go outside very much during the day, and I feel guilty that it interferes with DD going out as much as she wants to. I need to be better about getting her outside in the morning before her nap.

Right now, I just try to do one thing a day that isn't "free play". The other day, it was watercolor painting (using stuff I had around here, nothing special). Before that, it was play-doh. Yesterday, it was (forgive me) this super easy simple not pretentious at all thing I got from Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.com/pin/103301385173566805/). She loved it, so I think we will play with it again today.

I know she is missing her friends from daycare, so I do plan on scheduling a few play dates. It will be hard because we moved about 45 minutes away, but surely we can meet in the middle somewhere.

RondackHiker · June 2014

Thank you, everyone!

These are all really good ideas. More than ideas, your reminders to just enjoy it and to not try and be supermom and to just do what works for me are really helpful. I can get on a spiral of not doing enough and not making things special enough and so on and your reminders will help.

I've met a group of active but casual (if that makes sense) moms and they seem to get together once or twice a week for walks or playgrounds. And I sat down last night and made a list of local library story times and open play times at places like the bounce house and gymnastics, and the pool hours. One of DS's teachers is getting me a list of the best kid hiking spots in the area, and a friend and I will hit the dog park a few times a week.

I like getting out of the house and will love the play dates, but I also like being able to be impulsive and say "let's do XYZ today". I think having a list of things to do will help on days when we need something and I'm stuck for ideas.

NarwhalBacon · June 2014

My kid is half your kids age, so our needs might be completely different. I basically let DS take the lead all day. If I tried to plan anything it wouldn't happen. He is a master at foiling my plans. DS has his own schedule of naps and meals and I just work activities around it.

mcschutte · June 2014

Each mom has a different schedule/routine that works, but I think it's great to hear from other moms. I have been a SAHM for four years and still am changing our routine/schedule to adapt to changing ages, seasons, etc. I do recommend having some structured activities for older children. I found that my older son's behavior improved and he now doesn't even request screen/tv time because he is stimulated with educational/fun activities. I keep a box of activities and crafts handy, so that it doesn't come down to having everything scheduled to the minute. Another big part of staying 'sane' as a SAHM is to meet other moms and schedule play dates. When I had one, I probably had too many play dates. With two we limit them more (getting out of the house is harder), but it's great for your child and for you to get some adult time with other moms. I'd also recommend one to two structured activities outside the home - swim lessons, tumbling, story time at the library, are all great options. Museum and zoo memberships also give you a great option to get out of the house and change up the daily routine. You will have really good days and really bad days...just know that you are not alone and there are so many moms out there ready to give support! Good luck to you!

taggiecb · June 2014

My own tip to you is do not forget yourself in the equation. It is really, really easy to.

NotSharknado · June 2014

I clean in the morning and after that we go for a run, stop at the park and home for lunch. After that we go in the yard for water fun. Today I did nothing but lay around the house and I haven't done that in a LONG time. I gave myself permission to just use today to relax. You don't have to fill every minute of the day entertaining them. Sophia is learning this concept and she ain't happy about it. Too bad..

Want a personalized experience?

SAHMs, give me your wisdom

Re: SAHMs, give me your wisdom

Choose Another Board

Search Boards