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February 2014 Moms
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Hot Topic: Polygamy

MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
in February 2014 Moms
How do you feel about Polygamy or "plural marriage"? And I'm not talking about cases where underage girls are forced to marry, and that type of thing. Clearly abuse is wrong. 

Do you think it should be legal? Is it immoral? Would it add to or take away from family life? 
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Re: Hot Topic: Polygamy

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  • Meghan14Meghan14 member
    edited June 2014
    In theory I have no objection to how people organize their families.  In fact, I can see how it could add a great deal to family life.  But in reality I think there are way to many problems, mostly  the exploitation of women.  

    ETA: @RondakHiker 's post wasn't there when I began mine.  Yeah, she said it better. Go with her response.   

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  • MamaAllisonMamaAllison member
    Meghan14 said:

    In theory I have no objection to how people organize their families.  In fact, I can see how it could add a great deal to family life.  But in reality I think there are way to many problems, mostly exploitation of women.  

    This. And I'll add that I've thought many a time that life would be easier if we had another woman in the house ;)
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  • CodypupCodypup member
    Mazingmommyof6 said:
    I was gonna ask if that meant I could have two husbands but heck I can't even find one ;)
    LOL

    I love you @mazingmommyof6
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    broccoli's_girl said:
    I don't understand how they get a fulfilling relationship. If marriage is an equal partnership, would your husband be your partner with your family, Susie's partner with their family, Nancy's partner with their family... or is it one big democracy? What if Susie doesn't want to vaccinate? I'm having a hard time with the logistics.
    I think about this when I watch those terrible shows on TLC. Or Big Love (netflix fav!). I don't know if anyone else has seen "Sisterwives" but originally the family lived in one big house in Utah, and then when they moved to Las Vegas they each had their own house. 

    To me, it seems like it would all work better if you lived in one big house, like a family. If you're in separate houses, aren't you just lonely a lot, waiting for your turn? 

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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    I watch the show " my five wives "....it's very interesting how that family is living.
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    njb750 said:
    Someone has been watching sister wives... I agree with PP. If it is consenting adults. Although I cannot imagine sharing MH. I'd cut a b!tch.
    I think it's fair to say that women should not share a kitchen. I wouldn't say no to the help with kids.
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    Since this is turning out to be a luke warm topic, maybe we should think of some curve ball situations/questions?

    If you were a sisterwife what would your ideal husband sharing scenario be? And yes, I'm talking in the bedroom... 
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  • southerngal07southerngal07 member
    Oh such perfect timing considering I just finished binge watching Big Love yesterday!

    I agree with PPs who've said as long as it's between consenting adults I have no problem and think it should be legal. Just because it's not what I would pick doesn't mean it's not right for someone else.
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  • inluv4life2inluv4life2 member
    Ditto rondack. I've told H many times I wish we had another wife in our family. But it would have to be someone who could be my BFF.
    I hope to create a real siggy but first I need some sleep!

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  • Madelyn0713Madelyn0713 member
    As long as it's between consenting adults I'm fine with it. I don't think the government should be involved.

    I live in northern Utah and there is a polygamist family that lives around the corner.
    Started TTC Summer 2008~ Started with RE Summer 2009~ October 2010 IUI-positive HPT & beta, c/p~ Natural pregnancy March 2013, m/c at 7 weeks, Trisomy 16~ Natural pregnancy June 2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    Madelyn0713 said:
    As long as it's between consenting adults I'm fine with it. I don't think the government should be involved. I live in northern Utah and there is a polygamist family that lives around the corner.
    This is horrible of me, but now I'm curious. How many wives? Just one house?
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    Mazingmommyof6 said:
    Anyone wanna take on cool mom and her 6 kids ....I'll be you BFF ;;)
    It depends. How do you feel about cooking and cleaning?
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  • magentawarpedmagentawarped member
    Mazingmommyof6 said:

    Anyone wanna take on cool mom and her 6 kids ....I'll be you BFF ;;)

    Do we get separate houses? Not gonna lie, a combo of eight kids may do me in. My H would be good with the extra nookie, though, I'm sure.
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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    MissDemeanor said:
    Since this is turning out to be a luke warm topic, maybe we should think of some curve ball situations/questions?

    If you were a sisterwife what would your ideal husband sharing scenario be? And yes, I'm talking in the bedroom... 


    DH could marry Jennifer Lawerence. 

    I'd be okay with that.


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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    MissDemeanor said:


    Mazingmommyof6 said:

    Anyone wanna take on cool mom and her 6 kids ....I'll be you BFF ;;)

    It depends. How do you feel about cooking and cleaning?

    I'll share the responsibilities :)
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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    magentawarped said:

    Mazingmommyof6 said:

    Anyone wanna take on cool mom and her 6 kids ....I'll be you BFF ;;)

    Do we get separate houses? Not gonna lie, a combo of eight kids may do me in. My H would be good with the extra nookie, though, I'm sure.
    Separate houses would be good. I have been alone for almost a year now so I wouldn't be a needy wife...I could be the " understudy"
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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    Sakura0019 said:

    Mazingmommyof6 said:

    Anyone wanna take on cool mom and her 6 kids ....I'll be you BFF ;;)

    I will officially interview you for the position:

    1. Toilet paper under or over?
    Over
    2. Should DH put the toilet seat down?
    Always

    3. Are you comfortable with fun shopping trips together?
    A total must !!!

    4. How important are monthly "Mommies Only" pedicures to you?
    Very important! Icky feet creep me out!

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  • Madelyn0713Madelyn0713 member
    @MissDemeanor‌ I'm not sure how many wives. I don't know them personally and we've only been here a year. It's a small compound of 3 large houses. They used to be just out of town but the city has built up around them.
    Started TTC Summer 2008~ Started with RE Summer 2009~ October 2010 IUI-positive HPT & beta, c/p~ Natural pregnancy March 2013, m/c at 7 weeks, Trisomy 16~ Natural pregnancy June 2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    I am feeling so loved :\">
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  • BB0214BB0214 member
    I think if a person wants more than one spouse that's their business. But I'll say this, if a man can have more than one wife or husband, a woman should be allowed the same. All of this being with consenting adults, of course.
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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    edited June 2014
    Sakura0019 said:

    Avswolf said:

    Sakura0019 said:

    Mazingmommyof6 said:

    Sakura0019 said:

    Mazingmommyof6 said:

    Anyone wanna take on cool mom and her 6 kids ....I'll be you BFF ;;)

    I will officially interview you for the position:

    1. Toilet paper under or over?
    Over
    2. Should DH put the toilet seat down?
    Always

    3. Are you comfortable with fun shopping trips together?
    A total must !!!

    4. How important are monthly "Mommies Only" pedicures to you?
    Very important! Icky feet creep me out!

    Sold! I believe you will be the perfect sister wife :)

    Can we share her? Like, a custody agreement? You get her one month, I get her the next.... That way you can have alone time.
    Ok, but only if it is agreed that she will be a Red Wings fan ;)
    Ummmm....this whole sharing this is going to be ruined over hockey?!?! An Avalanche fan will never let me be a Red Wings fan. Going to the corner to rock back ,forth to cry and suck my thumb!
    :((
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  • Mazingmommyof6Mazingmommyof6 member
    Hey guys....rotational wife is very flexible
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  • MissDemeanorMissDemeanor member
    Really? Not one person on the board is opposed to polygamy?
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  • keags5496keags5496 member
    MissDemeanor said:

    Really? Not one person on the board is opposed to polygamy?

    I'm kind of surprised by this too!

    I'm a "to each their own" kind of person. I could never do it because jealous but if it works for people and they're consenting then so be it. My only issue (as a PP mentioned) is that its one way...Women can't take multiple husbands. Based on what I've heard the belief is that the women need the men to get into heaven (please correct me if I'm wrong...my knowledge comes from TLC). That irks the feminist side of me quite a bit and I feel like it sets up a very husband run household. Totally not my style, but again, if people are happy then whatever.
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  • Soap1Soap1 member
    I'm going to say opposed, mostly because of what @RondackHiker said.  I'm just not yet convinced that this is typically a healthy arrangement for families.  Very easy for wives to get taken advantage of.  I want a few decades of study on it and its effects on the wives and the children before I say it's okay.

    That being said, (*hot topic!*) I consider myself straddling the sexuality fence, and I would not be opposed to inviting a woman into our bedroom from time to time... :)
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  • magentawarpedmagentawarped member
    edited June 2014
    I've mentioned my dominatrix SIL before, and through her I've met a lot of alternative lifestyle folks. She has quite a few polyamorous friends. I've seen it work very well and I've seen it end very badly. Just like any relationship, it hinges a lot on good communication. Everyone has to be on the same page and be very open about their expectations and feelings.

    I wouldn't want to be in a one-sided polygamous marriage where the husband had all his wives but I only got him. I'd be more open to a polyamorous arrangement. I think that if you could find people with similar parenting ideas, it could potentially be an awesome, loving, nurturing environment for kids. It takes a village, and all.
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  • FlyingtoastFlyingtoast member
    Consenting adults .. What ever I don't care.

    My issue is how the kids are cared for. Do all the wife's have equal rights inn discipline? Does every get together to agree on rules, and their punishments? I would be PISSED at said other wife for a punishment I would see as too soft or hard.

    Everyone would have to live in the same house, to keep the 'family' feel. Otherwise it would feel like organized cheating to me.

    Hell if someone wanted to live here and help I would have to stop and think about it. Would that be more work but split evenly, or the same amount of work, split evenly?

    But I'm not sure I could share DH. Even though he talked to someone and '5 times a week is normal' with a 3 month old. TP to that know it all.
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