OMC: The Inaugural Post

ronniesgirl1981 · June 2014

It seems we already have quite a bit to get off our chests! If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about see here: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12370085/poll-thinking-about-how-we-share-when-we-are-struggling-or-need-to-vent#latest. Basically, whatever you are struggling with or that is bringing you down/making you feel blue, share it here. Feel free to jump in/start a new thread at anytime. Warning, there are bound to be pregnancies/babies mentioned below.

ronniesgirl1981 · June 2014

I am surrounded by announcements and shower invites this week. I feel like my head is going to explode. And an old friend got married. Her FB feed is full of jokes about honeymoon babies and the like. It's driving me insane. I know I need to step away from it, but I haven't.

BunnyBerry · June 2014

I'm feeling bummed that my IUI had to end up being an ICI, especially because I feel the office dropped the ball and caused this result. I am super afraid of bothering the medical team or being accusatory when I need their support (only place around, and super affordable with good rates of IVF success if we get there). So I've been avoiding calling to ask about it. RE had promised me it would be okay after the HSG catheter could never get into my uterus, that they had steps to deal with it. It feels like this was a wasted month, which is not cool because I only have 3 summer cycles when it's feasible for me to do treatments, before Christmas or spring breaks.

AnnaClaire256 · June 2014

I feel like a giant, jerk faced, horse's ass. I don't know if any of you remember my post about my "friend" who sent me an extremely insensitive pregnancy announcement text that sent me reeling a little...but I was less than thrilled with her and her announcement so I decided it was time to start distancing myself from her. I haven't asked how she was doing or how her beta tests were....nothing.

Today she texted me to let me know she has lost the baby at 7 weeks and has a D&C scheduled for Thursday. What's worse...the dr thinks she might have ovarian cancer.

I feel like shit...totally self centered. I wasn't happy for her and now that something has happened I just feel like an asshole. I wasn't at a point where I felt like I could get very invested in her pregnancy but I'm so sad for her now.

All I could do was tell her I'm so sorry and that miscarriages are very common and it was not anything she did wrong or could've prevented.

She is not any less deserving of a baby than I am just because I've struggled. All of her insensitive remarks and tacky announcements didn't matter when she told me what happened.

Has this whole IF journey turned me into someone completely jaded and selfish? This has given me an opportunity to step back and reevaluate the person I'm becoming. I hate how much IF has changed me. I just want to be happy again.

Sorry this is a little rambly... Thanks for giving me a place to get this OMC.

theholmanherd · June 2014

@AnnaClaire256, I'm so sorry for your friend! Just know that you not being supportive had nothing to do with it. Like you said, m/c happens sometimes. Now is your chance to be a friend to her and maybe going forward, you'll be closer. Don't feel bad, just be there for her. ((HUGS))

kushie77 · June 2014

My best friend who I also work with is pregnant with an opsie baby as she calls her. I love her dearly but she is not excited to be pregnant and her lo just turned one. I endured a gender reveal party this weekend all smiles and congrats but I may have rubbed it in her face that my other friend and I went drinking ala 21 year old style om Saturday.

ronniesgirl1981 · June 2014

@AnnaClaire256‌ I had a similar experience. It blows all the way around.

theholmanherd · June 2014

I haven't told anyone but my best friend, but we may be moving back to Phoenix. I want to so bad it makes my heart do backflips when I think about it, but it will depend on DH getting a job there that can be a good career for him. His current field doesn't have openings that pay well enough there, so my brother is trying to get him a corporate job. I want this to happen so bad because I am so sick of living next door to my in-laws and I miss my best friend and my brother so freaking much. Please pray/chant/meditate/whatever that we can move home!

Also, I haven't had any updates about my grandmother yet. The biopsy is taking forever to come back from the lab. UGH.

AnnaClaire256 · June 2014

@theholmanherd‌ you and your grandma have been in my prayers every night! I'll keep you there and add AZ job prayers in the mix.

theholmanherd · June 2014

AnnaClaire256 said:

@theholmanherd‌ you and your grandma have been in my prayers every night! I'll keep you there and add AZ job prayers in the mix.

Thank you so much

Mozzarella13 · June 2014

@theholmanherd‌ FX for you guys!!
@GinnyJones82‌ & @rainbowbridge14‌ I can relate, my OMC is similar...
I'm struggling with my attitude. I just can't seem to feel positive about this cycle. I only had the transfer yesterday and (TMI alert!!) every time I feel endometrin leaking I have to go check if it's my period. I'm having twinges and gas pains which basically means I'm laying on the couch feeling anxious. I just can't wrap my mind around the possibility of getting a BFP. IF is such a joy-sucker.

mrskovarik · June 2014

@AnnaClaire256‌ I'm so sorry for your friend and for you. Its a good lesson for all of us to be reminded that the situation can always be more difficult. But don't be so hard on yourself, you had every right to be upset. its a hard road we are all on. I truly hope your friend is ok and that you feel better too!

wanderlust508 · June 2014

@Daydream Sam - I'm so sorry! On top of all the stress of IF it really sucks when you have to deal with family problems. I hope you guys agree on a state to live in that does mandate IF coverage. That's not an insignificant consideration ....that RE tab adds up!

I'm struggling with feeling a bit resentful and bitter. My acupuncturist has told me to keep a positive mindset and always remember to feel grateful (for what IS going well) ....he says that stress and negative thoughts can work against the outcome we want. He says he can feel my "wiry" pulse indicating that I'm putting myself under a lot of pressure/stress. I tried to deny it but I know it's true. Negative thoughts do creep in. And I have a hard time stopping them in their tracks as he suggested I do. Today I was at dinner with my 2 girlfriends. One is pregnant and due in Nov (married Sept of last year ...over 2 years after me). We were talking about all her baby shower preparations and it was a little hard. I love her and am truly happy for her but it's painful to see that she's preparing for a life that I want so badly (painting the nursery, registering for baby items). The other friend who was at dinner just got married in April. I had dinner with her last month and she made comments that rubbed me the wrong way. She had a drink at dinner but worried that she shouldn't have. She confided that during her honeymoon she and her husband BD'd during her "fertile time" and "Oooh, what if I'm pregnant?!" She proceeded to tell me how she suffered through a cold without taking meds because she *might* be pregnant. I calmly told her that there was no reason for her not to take Sudafed or to have a drink unless she knows she's pregnant. But inside I was fuming and I thought "Bitch please!" I think I'm maybe being too sensitive about it but maybe she should save all the "Maybe I'm pregnant after screwing my brains out on my honeymoon" talk for someone who isn't struggling with IF. I keep thinking "Please God please ....don't let her be pregnant before me." That's such a mean thought - but it's what always crosses my mind when she talks about getting pregnant in the near future (as if it is a definite thing).

wishiwaspreggo · June 2014

Yay! So glad this thread was created I feel like I could get something OMC every day.

So this morning I woke up, moaning from the pain of my breasts shifting as I rolled over, feeling my joints cracking and desperately wishing I could just go back to sleep and said "Uuuuuuuuuugh I feel like I've been hit by a truck." This conversation followed:

C: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay you're pregnant!!!!

Me: C. I'm not pregnant.

C: Maybe it's twins! You never get this sick after your IUI!

Me: C. I'm not pregnant.

C: You're totally pregnant!

Me: C!!! I. Am. Not. PREGNANT!

C: How do you know?

Me: It's biologically impossible. I had my IUI 4 days ago. Even if I were to get a super early implanter, it wouldn't happen until Friday, and even then it would take at least a week to develop any real true pregnancy symptoms. I'm experiencing side effects from my Prometrium. That's all that's happening right now.

C: ... Yay!!! You're pregnant!!!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait until it's her body going through this and not mine. I don't care if she speculates from the moon and back that she's knocked up, but I cannot stand being on this roller coaster and getting my hopes up for absolutely nothing. I wish she'd chill out and just let me go through the 2WW without constantly talking about how pregnant I am when the reality is I'll get a BFN at the end. I want her to stop talking about it, stop asking me how I'm feeling, stop telling me I'm pregnant, stop making me test... It's driving me insane.

I really wanted to stay home from work today and sleep. I don't have a lot going on right now and it would have been lovely to just stay home and rest. But God forbid I do that, or else C will go nuts talking about my pregnancy symptoms and how I better save up my time off in case I have morning sickness etc. So I just dragged my ass out of bed and got ready for work. And I am officially done complaining about my progesterone symptoms to C. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and say "Wow, I feel great!"

Wait, even then she'll probably attribute it to pregnancy.

I'm glad she's excited. But I know she's going to be let down, and so will I. Statistically the odds of me being pregnant are stacked deeply against me. I am so, so ready to let it go.

megrae12 · June 2014

@AnnaClaire256 I am sorry to hear about your friend. It is very hard to go through that and un-telling everyone is the worst. All you can do is say you are sorry, don't try to make her feel better with how common m/cs are. That is just adding more hurt b/c honestly, she doesnt care. This was a hard pill for her to swallow and I can just about guarantee that she will never do an early pg announcement again. ((Hugs)) b/c I know that hearing her announcement hurt and hearing she lost it hurt as well.

emmuffy · June 2014

@AnnaClaire256 I agree with everyone else that your initial reaction to your friend's news was totally normal and understandable. The best thing to do now is support your friend, whether it's a hug or dinner or whatever you both enjoy.

AnnaClaire256 · June 2014

Thanks ladies! Y'all are amazing as always. I know all too well the pain she is going through...I've had two losses myself. I think that's why she reached out to me first. I don't blame myself for what happened. I just feel like, in time, I probably would've become more comfortable with her pregnancy and been there for her more....but I never got the chance. I guess I just feel like I was too caught up in myself and my feelings. I just feel like this process has made me so guarded and bitter. All I can do is pledge to be more self-aware from now on.

Pintobean39 · June 2014

I'm so sorry about your friend @AnnaClaire256‌. I think your feelings in the beginning were to be expected. You sound like an awesome friend to her since she's come to you now and she knows you will continue to be there for her.

I want to throat punch my FIL. My husband doesn't have the best relationship with him. We don't tell him our problems with IF. He did find out about the first mc because my husband told him I was preg last Father's Day. My husband made the mistake of telling him about IVF this Father's Day and handed the phone to me. He tells me good luck and if it doesn't work at least you can say you tried. FUCK YOU!!! I got off the phone and told my husband not to tell him a damn thing again. He's also one that's made the comment about my husbands step brothers wife that tried for years and it was because she was just trying to hard. Ignorant ppl!!

ktupiak · June 2014

I couldnt wait another week I POAS lastnight yeah guess I should have waited BFN... and my cousin's 16 year old gf (both 16) went into labor...and my sis keeps goin on about her bump...oh yeah my coworker is finding out the sex tomorrow and keeps talking about that too... I told DH lastnight that the test was neg and he was really supportive but it still hurts. I should have known but it doesnt make it any easier. Atleast im off today so im veging with old tv shows just trying not to think about it...ugh

sundaybrunch · June 2014

emmuffy said:

@AnnaClaire256 I agree with everyone else that your initial reaction to your friend's news was totally normal and understandable. The best thing to do now is support your friend, whether it's a hug or dinner or whatever you both enjoy.

^^This exactly @AnnaClaire256

borntorun17 · June 2014

@AnnaClaire256‌ thanks for your post! I have felt just as annoyed and unhappy for others' good news too and I think you worded it very well. It sucks that this happened to your friend (not to mention everything you've endured). Your post made me remember that we NEVER know the crap other people are dealing with. Just like most others don't know our struggles with ttc

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OMC: The Inaugural Post

Re: OMC: The Inaugural Post

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

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OMC: The Inaugural Post

Re: OMC: The Inaugural Post

March 2014 - RE appt. April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormalMay 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

Choose Another Board

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March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm