MOTN feedings

steph1977 · June 2014

I'm trying to eliminate one of my
LO's feedings during the night. He went from waking once to feed to waking 2-3 times, which our ped agreed is unnecessary at 8 wks, 14 lbs. Any advice for doing this?

Last night I tried to soothe him with the pacifier, then rock w/ the pacifier and put him back down to sleep. This worked for only a few minutes and he fussed and cried for 1 1/2 hrs until I finally gave in and nursed him for the 2nd time that night. I'm
pretty sure he's not truly hungry, just in a nasty pattern. HELP!

ambarnett1 · June 2014

To be honest, I don't think you can just eliminate the feeding. If he wakes, he probably is hungry, especially if your nursing. If you don't have a bed time routine around the same time every night then I would start. Otherwise, you just need to know it won't be like that forever.

steph1977 · June 2014

LalaMama81 said:
He is waaaaaay too young to eliminate night feedings. He is obviously hungry, feed him.

Your pedi is an idiot.

I'm not trying to eliminate all night feedings -- just one! He barely eats at all during the 2nd feeding, so I really
think he's just waking out of habit.

joyfullyfound · June 2014

LalaMama81 said:

He is waaaaaay too young to eliminate night feedings. He is obviously hungry, feed him.

Your pedi is an idiot.

This.

Xxlilies · June 2014

if hes hungry feed him.

babies dont care if they ve already been awake once or twice. hungry belly is a hungry belly.

PaperBowl · June 2014

I'll be the lone voice of dissent and say it's never to early to start sleep training, though at this stage it's mostly building good sleep hygiene and habits and laying the groundwork so to speak. Some tips/ideas, take them or leave them.

Do you let your baby fuss a little before picking him up? He may be between sleep cycles and just needs a moment to fall back asleep, and picking them up fully arouses them and can make them hard to resettle. You aren't letting your baby cry it out by pausing and listening, you are just verifying he is hungry before waking him to feed him.

Does he nap during the day in a dark room? While they are establishing the difference between night and day and that night is for "long sleep" try to make sure your LO gets daytime naps in the light.

When you do feed at night, keep the lights low, avoid eye contact with him and don't talk or sing to him as those things will stimulate him and make it hard for him to sleep. Don't change his diaper if it's just pee for the same reason.

If he's sleeping a long stretch then waking multiple times right after another within like a three hour period, he may be habitually waking rather than hunger waking. About an hour before the times he wakes gently touch and massage him, just enough to make him stir then fall back asleep. Usually this will stop the habitual wake up by "resetting" their sleep cycle. After a few days to a week you can stop doing that and the problem should be solved (for now).

You could try a dream feed to "top him off" and see if he sleeps longer as a result. Around 10pm you try to gently feed him without fully waking him up (same tips above about low lights and no diaper changing).

If you can't get him to quiet after a few minutes of rocking and comforting and making sure he's dry during a MOTN wake up, he's hungry so I'd feed him and avoid making him upset and potentially overtired from the screaming.

Finally, if you don't mind the MOTN wake ups, then don't worry about what he "should" be doing and just do what feels best. For me, I did a butt ton of research on infant and child sleep while pregnant and went in with a gameplan.. Lots of night wakings are NOT ok with me because I am not a nice person unless I find a way to get 9 hours of sleep and I think it's best for our family. My best friend is like the opposite and thus is more laissez faire when it comes to sleep. Don't feel bullied into doing things any way that makes you unhappy.

zazu13 · June 2014

I was able to get my girls to go longer stretches by making sure they had a big feed before bed. We bottle feed. They get 6 oz instead if their usual 4 at 8pm and they sleep until at least 4:00am before waking to eat. Good luck.

fourthnlast · June 2014

steph1977 said:

I'm trying to eliminate one of my LO's feedings during the night. He went from waking once to feed to waking 2-3 times, which our ped agreed is unnecessary at 8 wks, 14 lbs. Any advice for doing this? Last night I tried to soothe him with the pacifier, then rock w/ the pacifier and put him back down to sleep. This worked for only a few minutes and he fussed and cried for 1 1/2 hrs until I finally gave in and nursed him for the 2nd time that night. I'm pretty sure he's not truly hungry, just in a nasty pattern. HELP!

He's 8 weeks...I wouldn't even think of not feeding. It's not a nasty pattern, he's hungry. Feed the baby.

fourthnlast · June 2014

steph1977 said:

He is waaaaaay too young to eliminate night feedings. He is obviously hungry, feed him.

Your pedi is an idiot.
I'm not trying to eliminate all night feedings -- just one! He barely eats at all during the 2nd feeding, so I really think he's just waking out of habit.

If he's breastfeeding, that stuff is like chinese food. Goes right through them!

Vjlewis07 · June 2014

Also. This is the time that most are entering the "2nd leap" babies may want to nurse more and like to be close. I would say that this might also be a culprit if he was sleeping through the night and now he's not. Check out the wonder weeks app or look up the second leap signs

pbandjmom · June 2014

I'm so laissez faire. I feed my baby when she's hungry. Aye, me.

*sparky* · June 2014

dani+california said:
^^This.

And who's the bully in this scenario? The 8 week old baby? :-?

Lol. I can see them years from now on therapy "and back when you were 8 weeks old you used to bully me into waking up to feed you in the middle if the night."

To the OP, just feed your baby. He'll stop waking up when he's ready. At this point, resistance is futile.

PaperBowl · June 2014

I meant bullied by other parents, experts, or even doctors, to do something that makes you miserable. If feeding on demand, picking the baby up right when they make a noise, cosleeping, or whatever else works for someone, fuck what the pedi says and they should do it. But if lack of sleep from doing or not doing something makes you into a strung out and shitty wife and mother and person, it's ok to try to gently adjust the baby to fit into your life. Obviously your baby is not bullying you by needing to eat and needing to learn how to sleep. Call it what you like but there is nothing damaging or wrong to work at getting your baby on a schedule as long as their needs are met. I don't judge other parents who go entirely baby led, but I'm not sorry that I'm not willing to be that kind of parent and being bitchy to parents like me just comes across as bitter. Fuck me for showering every day and getting alone time away from my son too, right? Like I said, I went into this with a lot of research and a game plan and a sleep "tool box" to make sure my kid and I both get as much quality sleep as possible. Just because some people accept that they'll get no sleep or shitty sleep as the de facto mode of life for months doesn't mean everyone must do the same. If it works for you, great, but you don't get an award at the end of it.

mrscrcalli · June 2014

I have a 15 pound baby and he wakes every 3 hours to eat at 9 weeks.. He wants the boobies I give him the boobies.

I think if I gave my son a pacifier instead of my boob while he was hungry I might get his first laugh.. 8-}

PaperBowl · June 2014

mrscrcalli said:
I have a 15 pound baby and he wakes every 3 hours to eat at 9 weeks.. He wants the boobies I give him the boobies.

I think if I gave my son a pacifier instead of my boob while he was hungry I might get his first laugh.. 8-}

The pacifier is our best test if he's hungry or just needs snuggles and to be resettled if it's not clear by his cry. He does what we call "the angry suck" if we give him the dummy instead of food. It sounds like "arrrrrr arrrrrr arrrr". Baby growling, basically.

mrscrcalli · June 2014

PaperBowl said:

mrscrcalli said:
I have a 15 pound baby and he wakes every 3 hours to eat at 9 weeks.. He wants the boobies I give him the boobies.

I think if I gave my son a pacifier instead of my boob while he was hungry I might get his first laugh.. 8-}
The pacifier is our best test if he's hungry or just needs snuggles and to be resettled if it's not clear by his cry. He does what we call "the angry suck" if we give him the dummy instead of food. It sounds like "arrrrrr arrrrrr arrrr". Baby growling, basically.

I've only had 3 hour stretches of sleep for the last 9 weeks he doesn't budge. I asked pedi today as he said longer stretches will come and even though he's big he still is needing food at those those times, all babies are different.. But his longer stretches will come, until then listen to the baby.

*sparky* · June 2014

@PaperBowl / I did not mean to make you upset or super sensitive. It just read funny to me in your post. I figured that what you just explained was what you meant.

I know everyone has to do what works for them. I just have always gone with what the baby's needs were even when I was back to work and DS was still waking to feed in the middle of the night for months. I actually kind of enjoyed it because missed him while I was working so it was nice to have that bonding feeling with him, even if it was 3 am. I'll do the same this baby. But obviously not everyone can or wants to do that. I do think 8 weeks is way young for this, even for a big baby.

PaperBowl · June 2014

I was berated earlier today on a separate forum for saying my baby sleeps alone in his crib in his room, so I'm prone to butthurtness right now from being keyed up over that. So sorry for the explosion of bitchiness, if I knew how to PIP I'd post a cute gif of kittens riding a roomba by way of peace offering.

I offered OP my tips to use only if she wants and my main message is just that at this point, it's survival mode for a lot of us and you have options and can change up things, so try not to go by what the pedi insists the baby should be doing but instead what works for your family. I just wanted to offer her options beyond white knuckling it, should she want them. I never said or even hinted that she shouldn't feed her baby if he's hungry. I'm not offended if she doesn't want or use them.

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