Well, I heard from A's AMom last week out of nowhere. She acted like nothing had happened and we scheduled a visit for Saturday. I was kind but very standoffish because I now feel like I have to really guard my heart. She was super nice but never apologized, so I'm afraid this will be a recurring thing when times get really tough. I'm sad that I feel like we can't have that really close relationship anymore because I just can't let myself be in that place again, but I'm so happy that I don't get cut out of A's life. At the end of the day, it's all about her and knowing how loved and wanted she is. And she definitely knew that while we played at our short visit Saturday. She smiled at me, "talked" to me, held my face, and didn't want me to stop singing to her. At the end of the day, I'd say this is a successful arrangement for our little girl.
A little note I'd like to share- always get lots and lots of pictures of your kids by themselves for their birth families. I love the pics of just her because sometimes I want to stare at her face without the painful reminder of seeing her with her Mom being what I couldn't. Family pics are great for the reminder of why I chose adoption as well.
Also, if you're feeling thankful thank them. I try to thank A's parents for what they've done for her and for allowing me to be such a part of her life, but sometimes I miss feeling appreciated and wanted. It's easy as a birthmom to feel like you're on the outside and more of a nuisance than anything.
Thank you all for your support- don't know what I'd do without you!