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Do I want another to prove I can go full term?

ana_kana_k member
in Preemies
My 2 were born at 36w and 35w, so not really early, just some issues with not quite being full term, with short NICU stays. I was soooooo close to full term and part of me wants a 3rd child, but part of me feels like it's for the wrong reasons, I would love to know the feeling being full term, having a big fat healthy baby who latches on and feeds like a trooper. Anyone else felt like this?
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Re: Do I want another to prove I can go full term?

  • scubagirl81scubagirl81 member
    I'm not going to lie, that is definitely playing into me wanting a second baby. I don't know that it's enough of a reason to have another, but it's definitely a factor. DH is worried that I will be even more upset if we have another and they are a preemie as well, which is definitely a concern. I don't know how I would feel about that, I know it would be at least a little disappointing. Do they know why your first 2 were early? Do you have a doctor that is confident that with the right treatment plan they could get you to full term?
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  • ana_kana_k member
    I was gutted when I found out #2 would be premmie not matter what, I had Vasa Previa, so if I bleed it would be emergency c-section, if I made it (which I did) it would be elective at 35w, I was lucky I had time to prepare for that though. #1 was PPROM at 36w for no known reason, so theory being there should be no reason I would go early again .... Exactly flerlgirl - it's not a good enough reason. I have always wanted 3, we are happy with our 2, they are awesome, our family dynamic is awesome, I just keep waiting for this "done" feeling that so many friends talk about? I have so many friends that are adamant they are done, I've never felt that way, wish I did, would make life a lot simpler *sigh*
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  • Pips09Pips09 member
    I totally understand the longing for that experience, but I don't think that's a good reason to have another baby. That is a very short term goal, and how will you feel if you don't reach it? You should decide to have another baby because you want another child in your family.

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  • ana_kana_k member
    ^ yeah exactly .... I need to reasses this, I always wanted 3 kids before we even got oreggers with #1, but need to decide if this is still the same reasons or if it's the premmie thing hmmm Thanks for your advice ladies :)
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  • brachysirabrachysira member
    I would be happy to have another early baby if it wasn't for all the scary parts.  I understand your feelings, but they went away for me when my preemie got older and we weren't reminded about it every day.  
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  • flerlgirlflerlgirl member
    I think it's hard to know for sure when it's the right time to be done having kids. MH and I decided we were done after #2 and earlier today I was thinking about how I might want another one. It's hard to ever know...one of the joys of parenting, right? :)





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  • gault530gault530 member
    I don't think trying to prove you can do it is a good reason, but if you want a 3rd baby, go for it.  Also, just because your baby is born at term doesn't mean he/she will latch well and be a big baby.  DD1 was only 6 lbs (5 something when she left the hospital) and she didn't nurse well.
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  • SecondTimeinMSUSecondTimeinMSU member
    I really wanted to go to full term with DS #2 to prove that DS #1 was a fluke but not so much and I was still PPROM at exactly 36 weeks with DS #2. Now I think I am afraid to have a third since they were both almost exactly the same size and with this last pregnancy I had gestational diabetes so I worry that might cause a third to grow bigger faster and result in a third being more premature when I feel I was fortunate to stay pregnant as long as I did. It definitely has to be based on a want for a third, regardless of how the pregnancy goes.
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