Intro! (warning: LONG! haha)

Chasity08 · June 2014

Hello ladies! After months and months of just googling questions/symptoms/feelings and reading other women’s stories on random boards, I decided perhaps I should join one myself! And when I found the Secondary IF board it was a perfect fit for myself, as I currently have a 6 year old and I am now experiencing infertility issues.

So I guess a little back story on myself: My name is Chasity. I am 24 years old. I married my husband, Ryan, 3 years ago. I have a 6 year old daughter, Aubrey, from a previous relationship. My step-son, Zander, is from Ryan’s previous relationship. Our kiddos are 3 months apart and are best friends. I love my kids, our family, my life. But I have known since before we were even married that I wanted a child with my husband. He is the best Dad I have ever known, and I cannot wait to experience having a child with him.

About 15 months ago I had my IUD removed after having it for almost 5 years. My husband and I immediately started trying to conceive. After a couple of months of not becoming pregnant, I wasn’t too concerned, knowing how long I had my IUD, but I did start paying a little bit more attention to my body, looking up information on ovulation, and I started doing Ovulation Test strips. I did these on my own for 3 months, and thought I must be the dumbest person on the planet because I never once got a positive! I thought for sure I was doing them wrong. At one point I took 2 tests a day for almost 4 weeks, thinking that I just must not understand when my body was ovulating…but I still never got a positive test.

On top of all of this, I was also having excruciating pain during both ovulation time and also my monthly cycle. This was more than just cramps, and I knew it was definitely not normal. I decided to go see my OB and discuss this with her. We did a physical exam, an ultrasound, lots of blood work, etc…and my OB made the initial diagnosis of endometriosis and PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This was later confirmed during an endoscopic surgery. Unfortunately, because of the location of the endo and the shape/tilt of my uterus, my OB was unable to remove any of the endo from my uterus, so the pain still continues. She was able to do a cleaning of my fallopian tubes at that point though to make sure that eggs could easily pass through, so I guess no waste there.

My OB seems to think my biggest problem is actually ovulating, and when I do ovulate, creating an egg that will fully develop. While I am no Dr, and attempt to understand as much as possible, it seems that up until now, any eggs that I have developed have never moved past the first stage or two of development, and thus have never actually fully developed and dropped to travel through my fallopian tubes.

I took 4 rounds of Clomid. Horrible side effects. The dizziness, headaches, nausea, even worse pain with ovulation than before. It was horrible. No luck. I did get a positive ovulation test every month I was on it though (so apparently I wasn’t just dumb before ;] ). This month I am trying Femara in the hopes of less side effects. So far I have noticed that I have not had as much dizziness or headaches. I did catch a bout of the stomach flu, so hard to tell on the pain and nausea. I also requested that my OB bring me in on CD10 (as I normally ovulate CD11-14) to see exactly what my ovaries are doing and whether or not there are any follicles. My OB was concerned about doing more than 5 rounds of ovulation medication, so seeing as how this is my 5^th round, I want to know exactly where I stand.

At this point I’m just started to feel a little defeated. I know that there are women who have tried much longer than I. And there are women with the same diseases as I. But I can only see myself at this point. The hardest part of all of this is knowing that I can stop the pain….but in order to do that, I have to get on birth control. But if I get on birth control, it diminishes my chances of becoming pregnant. So I choose the possibility of pregnancy over the definitive pain that I am experiencing every month, that only seems to get worse as time goes on. But at what point am I going to say ‘enough is enough’? And if I do get to that point….I then have to grieve over the thought of never having a child with my husband.

But I think that pretty much sums everything up at this point. I am really just looking for somewhere that I can go to give support and receive it back. Have a place to ask general questions, not for a physician’s answer, but more for the experience from others. And just have a place to feel safe to talk about things other than with my husband. He is amazing, but sometimes it’s just nice to talk to people who are feeling the same way you do, and going through the same things you are.

I look forward to reading your stories and working alongside everyone as we all work towards one hope. That BFP!

Chasity08 · June 2014

Sorry about my signature by the way. I have completely deleted it out of my profile but it still seems to be showing up? Weird.

Fixed!

iheartsippycups2 · June 2014

That was a long story. Were you being monitored on the clomid? Or did your OB just give you the prescription for it & you did opk at home? If you are not being monitored throughout each cycle, going in on CD3, CD12, see what size your follicles are, seeing when exactly you are ovulating, maybe even needing a trigger shot to release the egg, IUI's, whatever, I recommend you go see an RE (specialist) who will monitor each cycle, and see what exactly is going on and see what the best plan of action is.

Good luck...

Chasity08 · June 2014

See that's why I asked to do that this month. I had read other ladies on boards saying they were getting that done, but I wasn't. I felt very in the dark. WHen I called about getting this month's RX I asked if this was something I should be doing, and the nurse said "Well some doctor's do that as a courtesy for their patients, but this Dr doesn't usually." So I asked for that courtesy as I just felt like I had no idea what was going on. So I go in tomorrow for my CD10 ultrasound. We're doing CD10 instead of 12 because I tend to Ovulate early, according to my OB.

And yes, I'm sorry it was so long. I wasn't sure how much info I should share. haha.

Thanks for reading and responding!

Frenchteachermama · June 2014

If I were you I would go see an RE. I don't like that your OB did so many rounds of clomid unmonitored. If I hadn't pushed to see an RE I would have never found out my IF diagnosis. I haven't taken clomid but I am on my 3rd cycle with femara and I have absolutely no side effects, hope it's the same for you!

Chasity08 · June 2014

Thanks for the advice. Yesterday I talked to my OB about what the difference would be if I saw an RE instead of just her, and she explained it. I feel dumb for not asking before. But when I had talked about seeing an RE before, my OB kind of explained it as though the only thing my RE would do would be to prepare me for IUI/IVF, and I didn't feel I was at that point at the time. But I now realize that was not the case.

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