Doula?

perfectlove09 · June 2014

How many of you used a doula? I'm debating getting one this time around. We did the 12 weeks of Bradley classes last time and I LOVED it but I feel like I could use a little additional support from someone. DH did great but looking back there are things I wish either he or the nurses would have reminded me to do as far as breathing and relaxing. This just felt SO uncontrollable. Granted it happened VERY VERY fast so I hardly had time to wrap my head around it but anyway.

Thoughts?

nanabanana06 · June 2014

I had a doula for my sons birth. My first one was so new and chaotic that I felt so lost during the whole process. I didn't have anyone speaking up for me and fighting for what I wanted. I think if I had that I wouldn't of ended up with a C/S after 24+ hours of being induced. So, when I got pregnant with my son I knew I wanted a VBAC. After doing research it showed that those with doula's are more likely to have a successful VBAC and a higher chance of a med free birth. That sealed the deal for me. I did some reasearch, picked a budget, and started calling around. After interviewing a few I found one that was perfect. She made the whole pregnancy great for me. We met a few times during my pregnancy, talked about birth plans, and did some pain relief practices between all 3 of us. It was wonderful. Unfortunately after all my hard work, research, and having my doula they told me I no longer was a VBAC candidate at my 40 week apt due to blood pressure. So I had a RCS.

Even with my RCS I wouldn't change a thing. I still love my doula experience. I had someone that was there for just me, not the baby, me. She helped me get latched and helped with BFing. She walked the halls with me during recovery so we could talk and a whole bunch of other things. We still stay in contact to this day. She's now our massage therapist. So we see her often and she is a great person to have in our lives.

JessAnnJ · June 2014

I didn't, but if money wasn't an issue I would absolutely have one this time for the reasons you mention. I just can't justify it because I'll be going unpaid for about 8 or 9 weeks

*LrCg* · June 2014

I never had a doula. However I have had several homebirths so I think that changes things. Depending on your provider, it maybe a good idea. I never took classes either- I just felt what could a class teach me that my body already knew to do. My midwife is very supportive & great at preparing parents (I've never had a prenatal appointment shorter than 1 hour) however I always wait to call her so she arrives the last hour. What helps me is I did read the Bradley Way book to understand what your body does during birth but it's Ina May's Childbirth book with the birth stories that has given me great tips (I SWEAR on arm wrestling) and I re-read it prior to each birth (I have less then 4 weeks to go & just broke it out).

From someone who has fast births (my first 4 hours, my last just over 2 hours) I will say it is harder for exactly what you said- its happening so fast your mind can't catch up. People always tell me they wish they had fast births & I always disagree. Instead of worrying about breathing techniques just relax and surrender yourself.

perfectlove09 · June 2014

Nana_Osaki06 Thank you for your feedback. I'm sorry to hear that weren't able to try for the VBAC but it does sound like you had great support through it all. And thank goodness that you had researched doulas so that she was there to help take care of you and probably offered great emotional support regardless of the way baby came into the world.

@JessAnnJ I know what you mean. They aren't cheap. I've found some for around $400 but others upwards of $1500! They offer an "a la cart" type of thing where I guess you just keep adding services they can do. Photography, film the birth (a second doula) etc. That's pretty overkill for me but I'm hoping to find one less expensive in another city.

no idea why I can't get rid of the underline...ugh.

@*LrCg* I'd thought about a home birth when I was pg with DD but there was just a small part of me that didn't feel totally comfortable with it so I just couldn't go through with it. I do think back at times and wonder how different it would have been. I live 30+ miles away from the hospital I chose to birth at because the city and hospital are notorious for being 'natural' friendly. They even use cloth diapers and glass bottles and don't offer drugs unless you ask. They don't even bring it up. That among many other reasons made me feel that was the next best thing. With my DD I did have some complications. My OB office has a record low for episiotomies, ... she was born mid way through December and I was only the 2nd person the entire YEAR my dr ended up cutting. They had to use a vacuum and she had to stretch me from a 9 to 10 during a contraction. Things just went crazy. Knowing what I know about the hospital and the staff and my OB I am 100% positive that had I been at any other hospital I would have had a c-section so I'm thankful I was there but there's sometimes a nagging thought in the back of my head wondering if it would have been the same at home.
Either way. I will need to read the Ina May book. I loved the Bradley book and thats why I took the loooooong class. It was just nice to have someone coach me through what was going to happen and it really helped me learn that the Dr/hospital/staff don't have to make all my choices and that I get to say no if I want.

I'm glad that you know what I mean with the fast birth. It really bothers me when people say "oh of course you went natural, it was so fast" or "if it had been as long as mine I'm sure you would have taken it" or "oh,...you didn't even get a chance to ask for the drugs" NO! lol that's not it at all. I worked my ass off even though it was fast and I planned not to use the drugs and I resent those comments so much. And you're right, people always say they wish theirs was that fast too but my god. There is ZERO time to get control and think for 5 seconds about what's happening. I know childbirth is intense and I appreciate that hours upon hours or days upon days of labor is so hard but they don't understand that I took all that hard work and crammed it in a few short hours lol. She didn't even have a cone head. People who saw here for weeks after birth said "she has a great shaped head! You must have had a c-cection?" odd comment but I heard it a ton.
Anyway, my freaking rambling is getting absurd. Thanks for your comment :-) I will try to just relax this time and I think that knowing what I know now I'll go in with my head already partially wrapped around what's happening/going to happen and I won't be so caught off guard. I hope. And I think a doula would be a good person to help me remember that.

nanabanana06 · June 2014

@Perfectlove09, if you really are considering getting a doula, but don't want to pay the outrageous amount of money some charge. Look for ones that either do a sliding scale or that are trying to get their DONA certification. Usually Doula's trying to get their certification have to do a specific amount of births before they get their certifications, these doula's will usually either do it for dirt cheap or free. I loved my doula. For us we paid what was about average for doula services here (WA). For 2 visits pre birth, birth services, and a post partum meeting (this is a typical set up) she charged 700$. She also gave you a massage at her parlor in the price of her services and gave us discounts for 3 months after. We did add in her birthing class and placenta encapsulation into her services and paid a total of 900$ split into 3 payments. This made it less painful. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck!

*LrCg* · June 2014

@perfectlove09‌ I hope I didn't misrepresent that I was pushing home birth. Obviously I support home birth with a qualified provider (I use a CNM who is well respected with even doctors in the area who frequently go to her for advice) & a qualified mother. I just meant that being at home I didn't find a Doula necessary but wanted to share what helped me with a med free birth.

If you had a previous fast birth a doula maybe a waste of your money because your births may continue to be shorter-just a thought. It maybe something you have to prep on your own & since you've been through it already you may find yourself with different coping capabilities. My first was 4 hours; baby 3 was barely 2! I'm glad to hear someone understands about fast births- my midwife even agrees they are harder. I love when people say at least you got it done & over with fast- yeah I went from sitting on my couch relaxing to being thrown in full blown contractions sounds easy!? Haha

Best of luck with your birth!!

perfectlove09 · June 2014

@*LrCg* I didn't feel at all that you were pushing home birth :-) sometimes my replies are a little long winded, sorry if you thought I was annoyed or anything. I really did consider doing it - there's also the small part of me that has helped my mom and step mom raise my younger siblings and I've always been the one to do the "taking care of" so the thought of being in a hospital (that I trust) and having some nurses there to help take care of me...didn't sound too shabby ;-) I also still don't know why it underlined the comment back to you.

@Nana_Osaki06 Thanks for sharing that. I've been trying to get a feel for what's reasonable. I know it varies by location but it's still nice to see. I will look for some that are learning. I'm fine with that. I know that everyone needs the practice and in my past that's always worked out well for us and we've not been disappointed. My wedding photographer was just getting started and they needed the portfolio so we got a smoking deal on them (husband wife team) and the girl that did our maternity photos was in the same boat and everything came out awesome.
Pictures and baby delivery are close enough right? ;-)

robyn2201 · June 2014

I had a doula with both births and she was wonderful. Best money spent!

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