Loss Check In

shandorfml2 · June 2014

Welcome to the checkin! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What do you do for work?

shandorfml2 · June 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not sure. I've been a little more sad lately, which I think comes from having AF. I miss my girl so much, and just want to snuggle her.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still be healthy, walk more (really need to do this) .I want to get my bike tires blown up so I can ride my bike.

QOTW: What do you do for work? I am a clinical social worker. I'm a clinician at a children's crisis unit. It's a really tough job, but I love it. Kids typically stay with us for 3-5 days to help stabilize after a mental health crisis (family conflict, suicidal thoughts, self harm). I like being able to get everyone out of crisis mode and help them. But, it's emotionally draining.

OSUWifey09 · June 2014

***SIGGY***

I haven't done this in awhile, but life's been a struggle lately, so I'm jumping in. I think it will be therapeutic for me to write through this things with a group of people who understand what it's like to be in my shoes.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I feel like I'm back in the early days, when everything was just so overwhelming. I don't know what the deal is, but it's just been so hard for me emotionally lately. We are 2.5 months out from Devon's second angelversary, and that's been on my mind a lot lately. How has it been two years?! I've started journaling again to get my feelings out, and I'm trying to let myself feel the emotional pain instead of trying to shrug it off. I've been shrugging it off lately and trying to stay strong, but it isn't working anymore.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? My next goal is to get to our next monthaversary (the 19th) without having a complete breakdown. I think the journaling will help me get my feelings out and start to feel better again, as well as talking to friends and family who have been there for me from the very beginning. I will probably spend a lot of the next few days crying and looking at Devon's pictures, and that's OK. I do think that the apprehension of the 2nd angelversary is starting to set in, which blows.

QOTW: What do you do for work? I'm an academic advisor in the honors program. I work at my alma mater and love it - been doing this for 4.5 years.

hsabyan · June 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I worked diligently last Sunday and Monday and made 6 teddy bears out of Georgia's receiving blankets that she used while in the hospital. I have left over fabric that I plan on using up as well. I plan on giving three of the bears to niece/nephews so they have a piece of their cousin that they never got to meet, and one to my mom. I plan on keeping the remaining for myself and/or any future children we have. It was therapeutic to get to have her blankets in my hands all day... she didnt really get to wear clothes, so these blankets were the closest thing to her-she laid on them 24/7 and it makes me feel closer to her to touch them. I wish they still had her smell.

I also went back to work on Tuesday. I worked 2 days this week, will work three days per week for the next two weeks, and be back to full time on the 23rd. The first day back was rough.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I think for now my goal is just to continue trying to find my new normal. I would like to quit smoking (yes, I know it's terrible for me). I quit last year when we were TTC and didn't smoke through my whole pregnancy, but it is my one vice and when we had to make the decision to let Georgia go- I gave in. Im not proud of it by any means, but there are worse ways that I could be coping.
QOTW: What do you do for work?

My education is in Social Work/Psychology. I work for a non-profit that has 7 group homes in the Twin Cities. I work at two of them, providing Life Skills training for adults with brain injuries. While I was on maternity leave, they did some restructuring and I came back to eight completely different clients at two completely different sites (I had previously worked with 8 clients at one site). It's a huge challenge to have to come back and learn all new people, goals, and household patterns. I visited my previous clients and they all gave me condolences and hugs... my new ones don't know what I've gone through over the last couple months. I haven't decided if that is good or bad.

Maybe Joleisa · June 2014

*stuck in the box*
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really. We just completed a (failed) IVF cycle and it felt like I was just going through the motions. The BFN hurt, but I didn't cry as much as past (failed) cycles. I don't think anything could possibly be more sad than the day I delivered our boys. This week I just feel numb.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Physically: Now that I can exercise again, I plan to get back on top of my FitBit leader board. Emotionally: I need to meet my friend's baby. She had her in January and I feel it is becoming obvious that I'm avoiding her. Seeing newborns and pregnant women still hurt.

QOTW: What do you do for work? Quite a few of us in human services! Post-college I worked in a group home and then became a case manager for local gov't serving individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. I now oversee all the residential services (monitor all the contracts and help coordinate discharges from training centers/institutions) for that same population.

lexusolsen · June 2014

OSUWifey09 said:
***SIGGY***

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I'm feeling much better this week. It's like a quiet saddeness instead of the intense ache I've been dealing with. It makes me wonder if this is what acceptance feels like.

G

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? To get through Ben's due date on the 14th, the 3 month anniversary on the 15th and try to celebrate Father's Day.

QOTW: What do you do for work? I'm a high school teacher. This is my second year at this school and I'm so excited to be coming back for a third.

dadalou · June 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I decided to sign up to go to a stillbirth conference in a couple weeks. Also yesterday would have been Nathaniel's 4 month birthday. I wasn't sad when I woke up which was a first and was able to make it through most of the day without feeling on the verge of tears.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We have our MRM appointment scheduled in two weeks. I need to think of what questions to ask.

I'm still working on being healthy and exercising at least 6 days a week. I've been doing pretty good with that. I was sick this week and I still exercised most days even if it was only 10 minutes.

QOTW: What do you do for work? I am a SAHM now. My degree is in Chemistry. I worked for 10 years in a lab at a pharmaceutical company before DD was born.

Jellybean71514 · June 2014

Haven't done this in a while but here goes....

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Been trying to spend more time with friends recently so basically coming out of hiding more so and it feels good to be around people who care about me and genuinely want to just have a good time.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? My goal is to get through my first week at work and finish up the house we have been working on for over a month now .... Starting to make final plans to move in soon!

QOTW: What do you do for work? I have a degree from FIT in NYC so I studied to be in the garment industry- I am currently the Director of Product Development for Victoria's Secret, so basically ladies that means I make those padded push ups and Lacie panties come to life and land in all VS stores! I work directly with the designers to execute their visions ..... I guess you can say in a sense I manage making sure the bras, panties and sleepwear can be be produced efficiently in factories and meets our cost needs ....I also put out daily fires when rhinestones are falling off, laces are bursting, panties don't fit right and prints are all screwed up and done backwards on product ..... just to name a few disasters xo

LyndseyTS · June 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? This week was more of a "stay on top of things" week, but I did go to a counselling appointment and schedule another one for this coming Tuesday, so I suppose that counts. I also had a super good cry last Wednesday. What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Keep up with counselling appointments and continue to try to figure out who I am and what this "new normal" looks like. I'm feeling better overall, less angry at the world, I think thanks to counselling, but it's still very much there and I still feel it in a super-impacts-my-life sort of way. QOTW: What do you do for work? I'm a primary/junior Occasional Teacher (supply). I have picked up a long-term temporary position teaching grade 3-6 French and covering Kindergarten planning time. It's been a really good distraction, but this past week with report cards for the first time was killer!

gracie5107 · June 2014

I was on vacation last week, so didn't get a chance to check in, but I wanted to let everyone know I have been thinking of them and praying for peace.

Also, @jellybean71514 by chance are you in Columbus? That's where I'm located and I know that Victoria Secret has lots of corporate offices here.

And gosh there are a lot of us in social services! I'm a school psychologist which means I help determine eligibility for special education services for students with special needs by doing evaluations for things such as autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, etc. I also work with parents and teachers to help design interventions to build student's success at school whether they have a diagnosed disorder or not.

Jellybean71514 · June 2014

@gracie5107‌ - I'm actually in the NY office but travel to Columbus every now and then for random meetings- i do love shopping at Easton!!

gracie5107 · June 2014

@jellybean71514 Yes, Easton is fun

I'm located about 15-20 minutes from there, so frequent it pretty often.

ikrystal · June 2014

Sorry I have been MIA. But I did see this post bumped up so I figured I would join.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I am thinking of starting a loss support group in the Chicago South Suburbs. I think it would help me and help others at the same time. I've applied to be a group leaders at Faces of Loss, and I hope they get back to me soon!
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I am trying to think of something to do for the boys near the end of August, when our IVF cycle was and when we found out we were pregnant. We may do a lantern release for them, but I am still brainstorming.
QOTW: What do you do for work?

My hubby and I own a small company and I work from our home office. Not a bad gig!

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