Gender Reveal - Family being Weird

lesliegolem · June 2014

Hi,

So my daughter is turning 2 next month. We thought with her cake we'd do our gender reveal thinking she's only 2, she won't care. Also she's dairy intolerant so she'll be eating her own Vegan cupcake, not cake. My family is flipping out over it! My sister and BIL said we're being trashy by revealing it in a cake. My sister also said that my daughter will be upset when she's older knowing that we used her birthday cake as a gender reveal.

My brother thinks it's weird we're not just telling people, and my mom wants us to do anything but a cake. I find this all very odd! Why is it such a big deal? Am I missing something or is my family being crazy? Now my husband doesn't want to do it because he feels they rained on our parade. I say lets do what we want! Are they just mad because we're waiting a month to tell people? Thanks for any insight/advice!

marianj79 · June 2014

I did cupcakes at our Memorial Day celebration, but DH and I didn't know until then either. I, personally, never understood doing a reveal where you know and everyone else doesn't. It seems as if, since the reveal will be for them, you should go with what they want. Just my two cents.

phdprocrastinator · June 2014

I agree: your DD won't care either way. They're probably just annoyed they have to wait to find out.

If you want to switch it around (but really - just do what you want) you could wrap a present for DD that includes blue or pink balloons and tell her she's getting the present of a younger brother/sister.

NLJ82 · June 2014

Personally, I feel like it's somewhat odd to do it on your daughter's birthday BUT not so weird that they need to throw a fit over it. If it were me, I'd probably do it on another day & with that being said, who cares how you do it? If you want to do it in the form of a cake then that's your decision. Is it going to make them less excited?

My husband does not tolerate...basically anything lol & if it were us in this situation he would flat out tell everyone that if they want to make a deal about it & ruin a good thing then they can wait until the baby is born & can shut up about it lol.

So yes, I say YOU do what YOU guys want to do. That's petty.

carcrashheart · June 2014

It sounds like they don't care about having a reveal. So why bother? I'm not a fan of gender reveals, it's just a way to be an AW, IMO. Sounds like they aren't in to it either. So, why do it? It's only serving to satisfy you and your DH.

Sounds like you're trying too hard to make something a bigger deal than the rest feel it is. Kind of like wedding planning-nobody else cares nearly as much as you do about the wedding.

Sure, our parents are all excited to hear the news this week. They might be down for a reveal of some sort. But at the end of the day it is what it is-a 50/50 chance for one or the other. They will be just as thrilled to hear the news when we call or text.

sweetbabyrahe · June 2014

I've never done a sex reveal since I have always been team green, but I do know that cake is a popular way to do it. If it were me, I could see myself adding it to daughter's birthday because everyone is already together and that can be hard to do in my famiyl. However, I think it won't get the effect you want or be fun if the family is against it. I am a bit spiteful too, so I agree with pp that I would just say that they will find out after the birth.

mb314 · June 2014

If you want to do a reveal through a cake at your DD's party, go for it. It's your choice, but it seems like it might take the fun away if the people there aren't excited about it.

My two cents for why I see your family's side:
1. I am not a fan of gender reveals - as a pp said, most people are not as excited about it as you are, and if you already know, it is even less of a reason to do it.
2. Even though your DD won't really know/remember, it is a little odd that you will presumably sing happy birthday to her, cut the cake, and when you would typically hug/kiss/clap for your DD the attention will all the sudden switch focus to the new baby and to you/DH.

AnnieRoo13 · June 2014

I kind of see both sides. Just like PPs said- you're already getting together and eating cake- why not do the reveal then? I would likely feel this way too. BUT I can also see how it would a) deter the attention from DD's birthday and b) if people aren't into reveals it might be annoying.

I am not generally into reveals but I have considered doing something little myself while our family is together already. Since you're having a party for DD and there would likely be balloons there, could you do something with balloons? For example, after the cake has been cut and all that maybe get everyone outside and release balloons from a box? Just a thought.

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

I

mb314 said:

If you want to do a reveal through a cake at your DD's party, go for it. It's your choice, but it seems like it might take the fun away if the people there aren't excited about it.

My two cents for why I see your family's side:
1. I am not a fan of gender reveals - as a pp said, most people are not as excited about it as you are, and if you already know, it is even less of a reason to do it.
2. Even though your DD won't really know/remember, it is a little odd that you will presumably sing happy birthday to her, cut the cake, and when you would typically hug/kiss/clap for your DD the attention will all the sudden switch focus to the new baby and to you/DH.

^ This. I was trying to find a way to word my response but this pretty much nailed it.

lizgrace03 · June 2014

mb314 said:

If you want to do a reveal through a cake at your DD's party, go for it. It's your choice, but it seems like it might take the fun away if the people there aren't excited about it.

My two cents for why I see your family's side:
1. I am not a fan of gender reveals - as a pp said, most people are not as excited about it as you are, and if you already know, it is even less of a reason to do it.
2. Even though your DD won't really know/remember, it is a little odd that you will presumably sing happy birthday to her, cut the cake, and when you would typically hug/kiss/clap for your DD the attention will all the sudden switch focus to the new baby and to you/DH.

This. Also, as PPs mentioned, if no one else cares about having a sex reveal, then why bother?

mamatohne · June 2014

I think it's a neat way to include your daughter! I think even if she knew what was going on she would love to do it for her birthday. (I would)

lesliegolem · June 2014

thanks guys you have given me a lot to think about! I thought about doing a gender reveal party but most my family said they wouldn't want to go to another party so that's why I thought doing at my daughter's birthday would be good because we'd all be together. if she was older I definitely wouldn't do it, but considering she's 2 we figured she won't even realize what's going on.

But I see some of my family's side now based on some of the comments. But it's hard too, like ClrkKntismyAE said maybe I should just tell them we're waiting until birth now to surprise people lol! But it's hard, have to pick your battles but also just do what you want to do. Hmmm I have to think......

jlove253 · June 2014

If your family didn't want todo another party, and now doesn't want it at dd's party, I really don't think you're going to get the reaction you want. I don't like withholding because its a bit manipulative, but I wouldn't blame you one bit for not telling them at all (or waiting till they're begging to know, or when the fiasco of their lack of excitement passes). Sorry all the same

lisaren · June 2014

Quite honestly, why does your family think it's appropriate to give you their opinion!!! How rude!
I would be pissed if my family said anything negative about what I'm doing for my child's party, and gender reveal

jlove253 · June 2014

OH! I just thought, maybe at dd's party you could have people put their guesses in a jar, and then tell them and pull one of the right guesses out for a prize. Then at least they could be excited about winning something.

missnacholover · June 2014

If you already know the sex of the baby (or will by the party) why not have DD wear a T-shirt that says "i'm going to have a little sister/brother"?

Miss Holiday · June 2014

Your Daughter will never remember her 2nd birthday.
I say do what YOU want. It's your baby, it's your pregnancy.

LMM1215 · June 2014

phdprocrastinator said:
I agree: your DD won't care either way. They're probably just annoyed they have to wait to find out.

If you want to switch it around (but really - just do what you want) you could wrap a present for DD that includes blue or pink balloons and tell her she's getting the present of a younger brother/sister.

Love this idea!!!

cindyNmark2010 · June 2014

I think you should do what you want to, the cake idea is cute and DD is only 2. She wouldn't know either way.

I'm in your DH's boat though. My family thinks a reveal is stupid and expressed so before we told anyone we were expecting while we were talking about a friend's reveal party.....pissed right in my cheerios so I don't think we're going to do anything now and spitefully keep the sex a secret. Muahahahahaha (that's an evil laugh).

jkrose10 · June 2014

Sounds like they are just upset that they have to wait. I'm not sure I would use a birthday cake to do the gender reveal. Like others have suggested, I do like the idea of having your little one open a box with balloons.

Do whatever you think is best!

Oh and I don't think cake reveals are trashy!

MGM81 · June 2014

Funny they don't want to go to 2 parties AND they don't want you to do a cake.....Hmmm????!?!!?!

I would stop asking & telling them things if that was me. Sorry you are stuck having to think this mess out. Guys don't get it and cave. ^ I liked what some else said about giving an extra present with a colored balloon in it. Don't say anything about it and do if AFTER the cake. Say oh we have one more gift.... Throw them all off

LOL!

Melissa2216 · June 2014

If they are being such Debbie Downers now, then you won't get the reaction you are looking for and I wouldn't bother with the cake. I can't imagine why they all have such strong opinions on the matter.

Generally when I think of reveals, I think of the couple not knowing, so the cake is usually a surprise for everyone. If your family doesn't care, then maybe tell them in another way. Have everyone get together for lunch or something and have your daughter show up in a cute "I'm going to have a little ____" shirt.

I also would stay away from piggybacking the reveal on your daughter's day. I think her party should be all about her.

jj0313 · June 2014

I'm kind of surprised people are being so kind in their replies about gender reveals after the thread I read yesterday! I agree with others who say it kind of takes some of the point out of it if you're guests aren't on the same page with gender reveals being a neat thing.

If you are set on doing a reveal, I like the idea someone else suggested of a shirt for your daughter that says big sister. OR you could do the balloon in a box thing. Or maybe a whole plate of cupcakes that folks can bite into on their own time? For some reason, having your daughters cake be the reveal rubs me slightly the wrong way. Regardless, good luck! I hope it ends up being what you want it to be.

KLKilgore · June 2014

What about your daughter being the one with the gender cake so that way when she makes a hot mess, she learns if it is a brother or sister.

Or you could always do a smash cake and smash it into your family members faces instead!

I have learned that pregnancy brings out the crazy in everyone! Do what you want! Your life, your baby, your memories. They will forget all about it but if you don't do what you want you'll regret it your whole life.

So you can have your cake and eat it to!

BkBaby118 · June 2014

I like @WildFlower810's suggestion. But really, do whatever you want! It's your baby, your child's birthday party, and your cake(s)!

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