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May 2014 Moms
gypsymystic
member
Dick move, SIL (long + rant)
gypsymystic
member
So this actually happened when DS2 was less then 2 weeks old, so well over a week ago, but since I feel like bringing the hostility up again, and am just now getting around to typing up this long saga, here goes. Please bear with me and my run-on sentences.
It all started at Sunday dinner with MIL, and MH's family. My SIL normally makes an appearance. She is somethin' else. My MIL has always favored her, being her only daughter and it really hurts my H, though this is besides the point really. At the last moment, she decides to tell us 10 minutes before she shows up that she is bringing 'a friend'. It turns out it is her male friend, we'll call him 'D', and his entire family. She frequently likes to surprise/impose people on my MIL and makes her and FIL rush out to special order their food, and to get enough food to accommodate her sometimes 3-6 guests she decides to bring. This time, she brings D, his wife whom is a nurse, and their two pre-school age children. Knowing we have a 10 day old baby with us whom we are tentatively bringing along. MH was livid, seeing as how we expected only D, but his wife is a nurse and by his standards exposed to a lot of germs. That would not be so bad in itself if they had not shown up with two young children. SIL is very proud of herself. She says she wanted to set up a play-date with D's kids and my DS1. No problem... if we did not have a 10 day old baby whom the children insist on holding. MH and I refused, and I took the baby to the back guest room to nurse him. He ended up wanting to nurse pretty much non-stop for over an hour and a half, and the entire time the kids were jiggling the knob shouting "let us hold the baby." No lie. DS2 could not sleep because of this and kept on fussing, and nursing. At that time I was EBF so I fed him, and felt somewhat relieved to have him away from all the company. Later that night when we went home, MIL called up and made a huge stink. She told MH that "We must not be PROUD parents, we must be ashamed of our baby" (she was drunk and he refused to let her talk to me as she requested. I would have gone off on the B--). How dare we not let all these random guests hold and touch our 10 day old baby who we must want to hide in secrecy like he's a troll or something. Usually MIL is a germaphobe but she just loves to rush to the defense of my poor, 30 something year old SIL, even when she knows she is in the wrong, she takes her side on every little quarrel and squabble SIL can invent or otherwise become involved in. The next day, SIL posts some crap on FB like "Some people are so selfish and spoiled." Needless to say I was done with their drama and unfriended her before I was too tempted to respond with a nasty comment. Though I do feel bad about not taking the high road and ignoring it now because I know she noticed... As for MIL, we have excused ourselves from attending the last 2 sunday dinners in hopes she would have time to cool off and figure out how to mind her own biz. SIL, is unfortunately usually this inconsiderate and I have learned to mostly tolerate it, even when she shows up at my house before work when H is getting ready and sits on the porch outside my son's window talking loudly, waking my kids up several hours early- and typically demanding H makes her breakfast. Ugh. These two are almost too much, as you can tell, I am still pissed about it. It is rather typical of MIL to always have a negative comment, this is just the icing on her many tiered crazy cake; but I grow less and less tolerant of it whilst I was pregnant and in these first few weeks postpartum with a newborn. I have been very reluctant to take baby anywhere or let anyone hold him, mainly because my DS1 got swine flu from a relative when he was not even 6 weeks old. I went ahead and went against my better judgement to please H's family during this above mentioned occasion, but I sure did not want my baby passed around like a football as young as he was/is.
Anyway, now that I got that off my chest, how would you have reacted? I hate having tension between me and H's family but it happens much too often because I feel like MIL and often, my SIL enjoy the drama... and putting people on the spot which is one of my pet peeves.
Anyway, now that I got that off my chest, how would you have reacted? I hate having tension between me and H's family but it happens much too often because I feel like MIL and often, my SIL enjoy the drama... and putting people on the spot which is one of my pet peeves.
Nikolas Knight
Born: August 8th, 2009 8lbs 8oz 4:33pm
Nolan Lawrence
Born: May 21st, 2014 8lbs 14oz 3:27pm
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.
One is roots; the other, wings." -Hodding Carter
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dick move, SIL (long + rant)
You didn't do anything wrong, that's a tough situation, especially because they are your in-laws. Luckily it sounds like your DH is on your side. Would he ever talk to his mom and sister to explain how inappropriate that was? Would such a conversation even do any good? If anyone was going to say something it should come from him.