Am I Too Pushy? — The Bump
Adoption

Am I Too Pushy?

So we had our individual interviews on May 5th. Everything went well and our SW told us that she would go ahead and make the arrangements for our home visit. And, I haven't heard anything since then. How long should I wait before I nudge her? In the past, it has seemed that she would put us on the back burner unless I kept checking in on her progress. But, maybe that's my impatience talking. Thoughts?

Re: Am I Too Pushy?

  • I agree with PP, i think it's good to check in. We did that with our SW and we still had dates changed and rescheduled by her They get busy and I don't think it's pushy, you are paying for this to be done in a timely fashion.
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    me:33 my wife:32      married in June '12
    LONG road through IF ending in heartbreak and frustration.
    Moving on to Adoption : matched 5/14! 
    Our beautiful son was born August 25, 2014!! 



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  • sgb721sgb721
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Photogenic
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    I would check in. When we first started the process I didn't want to come across as pushy, I didn't want to annoy them, etc. I wanted them to like us and show our profile and approve us etc. I've learned that you have to be your own advocate though. Don't mistake that with being pushy, because I don't reccomend that at all, but if you're unsure of something or have a questions, ask.
    TTC since June 2010
    5 Angels

    Lilypie - (hlC0)
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  • I've had my SW thank me for reminders in the past.  We are going through the state and I know their caseload can get out of control at times, so sometimes they just miss things.  If you say it in a curious way it shouldn't cause a problem.

     

  • Call.  I say that as someone who used to do her job.  

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  • Hi all,

    So it turns out that our SW had put us on the bottom of her to-do list and just left us there. We are looking at booking our home visit for during the week of the 23rd. 

    Thanks for your support! 
  • JWinCTJWinCT
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    We have learned that we need to be the ones to call, too. We found out we were "in the queue" to be called and because DH was finally able to get a hold of the correct person (after getting passed around to a bunch of people), we go our home visit scheduled a lot sooner than we would have. It took 4 months to get this far, so we know now that we just have to be persistent (in a nice way, of course), to help move things along.

    Good luck!
    Happily married Mom to 2 beautiful little girls, 2 dogs and 2 cats (all rescues), 2 fish and one 29 year-old firebelly newt.
    ~ Hoping to add to our family by adoption via Connecticut DCF. Application submitted on 2/4/14. First home visit on 6/23/14. Started class 11/17/14.~

  • The squeaky wheel gets the grease! You may feel like you're being nagging/annoying, but when I was a case worker, it was those people who were checking in and keeping on top of things that got stuff done faster! Workers tend to feel more accountable towards people keeping them accountable as opposed to the ones who never say anything.
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  • When we first started, I was nervous about being too pushy.  But I have quickly learned that it's crucial you be the advocate for yourself and your child.  It never hurts to check in.  
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