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July 2013 Moms
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Did you/will you open gifts at 1st Bday party?

curlysue22curlysue22 member
edited June 2014 in July 2013 Moms
Hi all!

First-time poll-maker here, hope it works ok. Hilaboo86's post made me wonder: will you or won't you/LO open gifts at their 1st Bday party? I've been at parties on either side and see draw-backs and benefits to both.
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Did you/will you open gifts at 1st Bday party? 129 votes

Yes! We will open gifts.
64% 83 votes
Nope. Saving it for later.
8% 11 votes
We'll see how the day goes / not sure
24% 31 votes
SS
3% 4 votes
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Re: Did you/will you open gifts at 1st Bday party?

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  • DenverBride2005DenverBride2005 member
    For DS1's we did open gifts (I could help and it went quickly).  We didn't at his 2nd bday and probably won't at his 3rd bday either.  

    I will probably do the same for LO--help him open his gifts, since it will be at our house, I can help him, and there won't be a ton of kids running around like at older kids' parties.
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  • karen0477karen0477 member
    We will open gifts, we do at all the kids parties. I like to be able to open and say thank you in person.....

    Karen - 36      DH - 39

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  • NKF312NKF312 member
    Our party will be all close family so yes.. not sure if we would if it was friends too?
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  • theuntaggablektheuntaggablek member
    I voted yes, but the "party" will be dinner or a park play-date with just the immediate family....and maybe cake & skype calls with grandparents.
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  • thegoodpotatothegoodpotato
    I voted SS because we probably won't be having a real "party". We do a little get together at my parents' house, but we don't invite people or anything. Presents optional, because kids don't really understand what's going on, and heaven knows we have enough toys.

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  • LauraB1016LauraB1016 member
    I voted yes. Though I am kind of dreading it since I know there will be a lot of people in attendace (large family and lots of close friends) and I don't want it to take up a lot of the party time.
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  • curlysue22curlysue22 member
    missymr said:

    We will open them. I know LO won't care much what the presents are but he loves paper so I think he might have fun ripping them open.

    I am on the fence about gift opening at all events. At a birthday party I think yes. I always enjoy watching a gift I brought get opened and for older children I think it's important they learn how to be gracious and say thank you in person.

    But we didn't at his baptism because not everyone who came brought a gift (mostly my family since We are Jewish and the baptism was for DH. My family and I were all a bit fish out of water. I didn't even had a clue anyone would bring gifts). we didn't want people to feel bad so I put them aside and we opened them later as sent thank you notes.



    Same with us at the baptism. It was 50/50 on people bringing gifts so I didn't want to make anyone feel awkward for not bringing one.
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  • chiboo9chiboo9 member
    PrimRoseMama said:
    @chiboo9‌ : I understand feeling awkward, but opening gifts is more about being considerate of your guests effort to buy your kid something. It's really not about you or your feelings. You can always open them quickly. I just get irritated when folks don't open gifts at a party. I spent time & effort thinking about the kid. I want to see their face when they receive it. I have a friend that never opens gifts. I do not spend $ on gifts for her kids anymore. I get her a gift certificate & a card. Part of the party for me is gifts & cake. If one or both are missing I feel like I've been fleeced for a gift & I'm just a number at the party. It happens frequently from our mom groups. Huge parties where it feels awkward to show up with a gift because it's put in a guest room or on a table to sit there. I feel like if someone gets me a gift that it's ungrateful & rude to stash it without opening it.

    Good to know. I've never thrown a kid birthday party, so this is new territory for me.

    I guess for me, I wouldn't take it as the parent/s being inconsiderate if they didn't open gifts during the party. That goes for an adult party as well. I go to parties to spend time and see the birthday celebrant, not to watch them open gifts. It certainly would never cross my mind that they were being ungrateful or rude. They can thank me later for the gift.

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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    @chiboo9‌ : I'm not trying to be argumentative, I swear. I have found that it's just as easy to meet, chat & mingle with all guests AND open gifts. In my mind it's polite to do both. It's not one & not the other.

    Almost every gift opening situation might have lasted 30-45 minutes at most. It's not a huge chunk of a party.

    Obviously someone that chooses not to open gifts wouldn't think they are lacking consideration. They aren't thinking with etiquette (read: consideration for guests' time, & effort) in mind.


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  • RoRo10733RoRo10733 member
    I do the feed the guests, open presents, eat cake, let kids play/leave if you want party. It's usually low key with close family and friends. The party is usually over 2-2.5 hours later.
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    edited June 2014
    chiboo9 said:


    PrimRoseMama said:

    @chiboo9‌ : I'm not trying to be argumentative, I swear. I have found that it's just as easy to meet, chat & mingle with all guests AND open gifts. In my mind it's polite to do both. It's not one & not the other.

    Almost every gift opening situation might have lasted 30-45 minutes at most. It's not a huge chunk of a party.

    Obviously someone that chooses not to open gifts wouldn't think they are lacking consideration. They aren't thinking with etiquette (read: consideration for guests' time, & effort) in mind.




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    Hahah, jk. But not really. And no, I definitely didn't take it as being argumentative. I already know I'm riding solo on this boat.

    I think for me, I personally hate it because of competition in the family. During both my bridal and baby shower, all eyes were on the gifts to see who gave the biggest and most expensive gifts. And then I got to hear the 'Is that all she bought? That's so cheap'. afterwards. It was terrible. Especially when there are step parents involved who try to outdo each other. I'd rather others not know who got LO what. That's why DH is on the same boat.

    Anyway, I realize I basically just gave a 'You don't know my lyfe' special snowflake story. Bingo anyone?


    Oh God! I hate to seem like I'm stereotyping & saying ignorant shit-- so apologies for this in advance if it's offensive. However, I found my Asian friends/family that have this obsession with "saving face" & one-upping on gift giving. So that could & would make gift opening excruciating. Remember, I'm your SIL? ;)

    I completely forgot about The Tiger Twilight Zone that is weirdness about gift giving.

    My MIL was obsessed with what H's cousins got us for the kids. To keep in mind what the monetary value was (dude hell no) & make sure to tell them. Then The IL & we would pool our resources to make sure to get a bigger/better/more unique/expensive baby gifts. That would save face & honor etc.

    H still hates birthdays & Xmas for this reason. I totally forgot the cultural aspect. I retract all my flames!


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  • arlingirlarlingirl member
    I don't like opening, either. It makes me sweat profusely to have all the eyes and attention on me. DH loves it, so he got to hold Oliver at Christmas and open the gifts. I took pics, which I rock at. Win-win. That's what we'll do at his birthday do and hopefully I'll make it in a pic or two.
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  • jemasa33jemasa33 member
    We opened presents at ds1 first bday but I have friends who didnt because their baby fell asleep. As a guest, I love seeing the child open the gift I got them.
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  • hollandmamahollandmama member
    It's going to be a small party and yes we will open gifts. Here in Holland (as far as I know) it may be considered rude to not open a gift in front of the person who gave it. It may be seen as you don't care and they do care <3 it's surprising that most of the world think that northern europeans are cold people, during my time here I've learned that they are extremely warm people :)
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