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April 2014 Moms
kikijones
member
If the gif works it sums up my feelings.
So my in laws never dealt with a breast fed baby before ours. And they act like it's the weirdest fucking thing in the world. Gahhhh. So MIL comes over so I can run to the store for 30 minutes to get Epsom salt for my milk blister and a Father's Day card and I come back and she's giving him a bottle. I asked if he was crying or screaming out of hunger and she looks at me all bewildered and says no. THEN WHY ARE YOU FUCKING FEEDING HIM THEN. I WAS GONE 30 MINUTES. FUCK. It pisses me off so much. They literally cannot acknowledge that I breastfeed. Every time they ask about his eating it's always "when did he have his bottle. He just loves bottles. I bet he wants a bottle. I think he could hold a bottle by himself now because he's so big." (He's 7 weeks. I'm pretty sure that's fucking impossible.) The thing that really bothers me is they have no respect for how breastfeeding works despite my husband explaining it to my MIL. (I can't talk about this with her because these people are so uptight that conversations center on the family, the kids, or the weather. I've never had a real conversation with either of them in the sixteen years I've known them.) I love them and they are wonderful grandparents but it's so hard for me to deal with their inability to deal with breastfeeding. I swear there must be something hormonal that makes me super protect-full of my need to nurse. I know it's irrational to be so angry about it but geez. So tonight I'm going to print a bunch of literature explaining how it works and no he does not have diarrhea.
Oh and one more cause I'm putting it all out in hopes it makes me feel better. I hate it when she says stupid fucking things that basically accuse me of harming my baby. First it was the swing. "I read that those are dangerous and they shake the baby's brain and give them brain damage". No they don't. If they did, they wouldn't sell them. Then it was the bouncers vibrating feature. Same danger. No it's not too strong. Then it was the sound sleep machine and "I heard those make babies go deaf". No they don't !!! Today when I get home from the store "do you still swaddle". Yes. "Are you sure you should. Doesn't it squeeze his insides and compress his lungs?" WTF. No. I would never squeeze my baby so tight with a swaddle. Arghhhh!!!
Okay. If you read all that thank you. And please feel free to add your complaints. I would love to commiserate.
Lurker who needs to vent about in laws.
kikijones
member
If the gif works it sums up my feelings.
So my in laws never dealt with a breast fed baby before ours. And they act like it's the weirdest fucking thing in the world. Gahhhh. So MIL comes over so I can run to the store for 30 minutes to get Epsom salt for my milk blister and a Father's Day card and I come back and she's giving him a bottle. I asked if he was crying or screaming out of hunger and she looks at me all bewildered and says no. THEN WHY ARE YOU FUCKING FEEDING HIM THEN. I WAS GONE 30 MINUTES. FUCK. It pisses me off so much. They literally cannot acknowledge that I breastfeed. Every time they ask about his eating it's always "when did he have his bottle. He just loves bottles. I bet he wants a bottle. I think he could hold a bottle by himself now because he's so big." (He's 7 weeks. I'm pretty sure that's fucking impossible.) The thing that really bothers me is they have no respect for how breastfeeding works despite my husband explaining it to my MIL. (I can't talk about this with her because these people are so uptight that conversations center on the family, the kids, or the weather. I've never had a real conversation with either of them in the sixteen years I've known them.) I love them and they are wonderful grandparents but it's so hard for me to deal with their inability to deal with breastfeeding. I swear there must be something hormonal that makes me super protect-full of my need to nurse. I know it's irrational to be so angry about it but geez. So tonight I'm going to print a bunch of literature explaining how it works and no he does not have diarrhea.
Oh and one more cause I'm putting it all out in hopes it makes me feel better. I hate it when she says stupid fucking things that basically accuse me of harming my baby. First it was the swing. "I read that those are dangerous and they shake the baby's brain and give them brain damage". No they don't. If they did, they wouldn't sell them. Then it was the bouncers vibrating feature. Same danger. No it's not too strong. Then it was the sound sleep machine and "I heard those make babies go deaf". No they don't !!! Today when I get home from the store "do you still swaddle". Yes. "Are you sure you should. Doesn't it squeeze his insides and compress his lungs?" WTF. No. I would never squeeze my baby so tight with a swaddle. Arghhhh!!!
Okay. If you read all that thank you. And please feel free to add your complaints. I would love to commiserate.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Lurker who needs to vent about in laws.
The only time I didn't was when FIL insisted on just randomly trying to shove food in DS's mouth when he was having GI issues and we were closely watching what he ate. And FIL got all bent out of shape because I "wouldn't let him feed his grandson". Why would you just randomly shove food in someone's mouth as you're walking by anyway? Weirdo...
But since they don't live near us, what they like to do to annoy me is send huge gifts that we didn't ask for and can't use or return. Yesterday a huge work bench for DH and a huge toy storage shelving unit showed up at the house. Both are totally random things we did not ask for, have no space for, and don't need. And this is the second work bench they have given DH. He never set the other one up either.
Just wow to all of this...
Edit: clarity
She will, however, respect my wishes and will follow any directions I give her to the letter. My biggest annoyance is when I'd leave DD with her for a short (like an hr) outing, after just feeding dd, to her giving dd a bottle from my stash. WTF! I told you she just ate! Why are people so damn obsessed with giving BF babies bottles?!?
BFP: 7/5/10 EDD: 3/13/11 Miscarriage 8/1/10 at 8 weeks
BFP: 10/30/10 EDD: 7/7/11 Born 7/11//11 7lb12oz, 20 in.
BFP: 7/30/13 EDD: 4/9/14 Born right on time on his due date! 8lb10oz, 21.5 in.
Awesome prophetic fortune cookie: Love is a present that can be given every single day you live
I will try to lurk less now. I just never posted when I was working cause yeah, life. But now I have more time cause I nurse like 12 hours a day lol.
And what drove me out of my mind is when I would as DH to do something for the baby (during which mil happened to be at our house) and I would come back to find mil doing it for him. I cannot stand how she babies her sons even though they are in their 30s so much so that they expect her (& me now) to do things for them. Hell no!!!!!
And mil keeps track of how often my mom gets to hold DS compared to how often she does....
Side note: I think people are obsessed with giving babies bottles because they don't know how/have the patience to soothe a baby. They just assume every cry means they're hungry even if they aren't.
I think the bottle thing - in women at least - stems from a desire to feed the baby, plain and simple. I feel like there's an instinctual reason I'm so protective of breastfeeding, and my reluctance to face other people besides DH and me feed her makes me think there's something more to it than just providing sustenance. The first thing my mom said to Josie (that I remember. I was pretty tired) right after she was born was "I can't wait to give you a bottle!" I thought it was bizarre, especially since she new I wanted to BF and supported it. People like to feed babies, period. It's a time where the baby is kind of theirs; no one's gonna try and take the baby while it's being fed, no one's gonna ask to hold her, she's not jonna cry and have to be taken away. It's protected time, and I think a lot of grandmas and grandmother-in-laws want that.
And some are just plain weird about breastfeeding.
I, too, loved your gif. Loved that cartoon! I know just the one it's from.
Baby Girl Born: April 2014
If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
Errrmagawd. There are soooooooo many things wrong with....well....ALL of that! Yes, boobs are specifically for babies, men like them biologically BECAUSE of that. And vaginas.....also specifically for babies.....wait, should I stop eating because my mouth should only be used for bj's? Just. Wow.
If it's not obvious yet, my MIL and I don't see eye to eye. I think it all went pear shaped around the time she told me I should lose weight so I would be pretty and could wear pretty dresses. Grrrrr
We were going to visit them 2 wknds ago and before we went she called DH and he was talking to her on speaker. She said she wanted us to go to church with them. He said it depends on how the night is and how DS is in the am. She then said if we don't go, she'll just take him. I started to freak the fuck out but my husband calmly explained to her that he can't be away from me for more than 2 hrs (not true, he can go longer but she didn't need to know that) because I breast feed. She then said we will just have to feed him before she goes then she'll take him. I. Was. Floored. You can't just tell someone you're taking their baby!!!! My mom and I are extremely close and she would never think of saying something like that to me. We didn't end up going and she didn't take him alone
@RedDawnsRevenge I'm speechless on the vag stuff. Speechless.
I love my mom to pieces but she's really got to stop telling me that my daughter is in pain every time she fusses.... or that what I'm eating it hurting her. I just roll my eyes and take another bite. My mom got her Phd at the university of Google and knows everything there is to know about babies.
Amusingly now that DS is older and I'm bottle feeding so anyone could do it, any time he cries or fusses everyone is like "oh no he's hungry". Meanwhile I'm like uh no he just ate, he's crying because he's tired and you won't get out of his face so he can relax. I get that I am probably more attuned to him than anyone but it drives me batty.
When DS needs to eat (AGAIN) because of on demand, she won't let me. It's nuts.
Me(26)PCOS, Hypothyroidism & Incompetent Cervix DH(28)Azoospermia
4/11 Off BCPs -- Cycle 1-3 (6months) - No ovulation, Provera
Cycle 4-6 - Provera, Clomid 50mg, CD23BW - All BFN (HSG-all clear)
Dec 2011 DH S/A shows zero count - dx Azoo
TESE 4/13/12 - Sperm found!! 5 viles frozen
IVF ICSI #1- (Lupron protocol) 5R 2F 2dt- 2DP & 4CF - BFFN
IVF ICSI #2- (Antagonist protocol) Started stims 7/26
ER 8/8 11R 9F 3dt - 9BF & 7BF (+HPT 8dp3dt)TWINS! EDD 5/1/13
LAP Transabdominal Cerclage - 4/15/13 only possibility of carrying my children to term
IVF#3 - June 2013 - canceled.
IVF ICSI #3.2- (Antagonist Protocol) 7/26 start stims (same day, a year later from J & Z's stim start date!)
9/11/13 - U/S shows 1 baby HR 135bpm! EDD: 4/30/13
It's a BOY!!
2/9/14 - DX Gestational Diabetes
C-section scheduled for 4/7/14 (36w5d)
Colin Joseph - 1:07pm 6lbs 14oz - 8 days in the NICU
Everyone Welcome!
Not in a huge rush to do that thanks!