People touching your stomach?

jaxx723 · June 2014

This is my first pregnancy and a ton of people have told me to get used to having my belly touched, because it's going to happen a lot.

For those of you who have previous pregnancies, how did you handle this? Were you okay with it, or did it bug you? Were some people allowed to touch your stomach, but not others?

For those of you who are pregnant for the first time, how do you want to handle this?

I'm not someone who likes to be hugged or touched by strangers or acquaintances on a regular basis, let alone while I'm pregnant. How do you recommend that I deal with this when someone touches my stomach randomly, or asks me if they can touch my stomach?

SSCmomma · June 2014

I just told my parents today (I'm 8 weeks) and my Dad decided to do this. I just kind of blurted out please stop touching my fat. Dumb yes but he caught me off guard.

Kelliann98 · June 2014

This is my second and honestly the only people who touched my bump were my MIL (big shocker!) and my preschoolers.. I work at a private preschool and there's something about big bellies! They're obsessed

the kids didn't bother me- the MIL?? It was annoying but her heart is in the right place.

NatureLovers · June 2014

If it's a stranger, I consider that to be assault, and I would be strongly tempted to assault them right back. That is a gross violation. My MIL has already patted my tummy once, but it was a brief pat and it didn't really bother me. MH rubs it all the time but that's ok.

Lanatir · June 2014

I don't think I ever had strangers touch my belly. My plan had been to touch theirs back, but I'm not sure I would have actually been that brave. I don't know your body type, but smaller bumps tend to attract less attention. I didn't have one until about month 7 and didn't get asked by a stranger if I was pregnant until a little after that.

For old church ladies, I just cringed and tried not to murder them. My FiL LOVES to touch my belly and it's really awkward, but we see them only like once a month, so maybe I can tolerate that. But I've also been much more cranky this pregnancy and outspoken when something annoys me (like I actually interrupted a rant by my MiL about how much apparently my SiL is at fault for my BiL not seeing his mother, when really SiL was the one trying to get BiL to mend the relationship with MiL). So we'll see how long tolerating some people lasts.

I'm very much a "DO NOT TOUCH ME" person. Like DH keeps pestering me about sex today and I've already told him all his grouping and kissing has used up his contact limit for the day. (Actually, I hit it at 10:30 this morning, but didn't explode until closer to 5 PM because I was trying to be nice for Father's Day.)

longcat07 · June 2014

the only person who touched my belly unbidden when i was pregnant with DS was my mother. seriously, LH didn't even touch it unless i told him to, which was a little weird. i let it slide with my mother. i had these "responses" planned in the event anyone did touch my belly, but in reality i probably would have just stepped back and given whoever it was a really dirty look. (and i have passive bitch face, so a dirty look from me is pretty withering, i'm told.)

ADALLASBRIDE · June 2014

I rarely had people touch my stomach. I think in my last pregnancy and maybe happened once or twice? I don't think it's a general rule that everyone gets their stomach touched. I wasn't really a fan of it when it did happen though.

MNgirl326 · June 2014

The only people who touched my stomach were my family members at my baby shower. And well, it was a baby shower and they were giving me lots of gifts, so whatever.

Other then that people never really touched it.

Latham12 · June 2014

Everyone asked me first. I didn't mind if I knew them and they asked.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

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richardson0911 · June 2014

@NatureLovers I seem to recall a few years ago(?) some woman in Philadelphia pressed assault charges against someone for touching her pregnant belly without permission, and it was huge press here. Everyone was talking about the question "Is it appropriate to touch a pregnant belly?" and there were some people saying it absolutely was, which boggled my mind.

I have no idea what I'm going to do if some random person tries to touch me. I have that demeanor that people immediately feel comfortable around me, which is nice sometimes, but not when I'm standing in line at the grocery and all the sudden I'm listening to this person's drama about their sister's cousin's kid is having an issue in school and its all (name political candidates fault) and their spouse has since left or has passed and on and on and on. I feel for them, I really really do, but I'm not getting paid to be your therapist, please leave me alone. But my sister had more of an issue with people touching her infants rather than her belly. Constantly, she was fighting people off who, for whatever reason, felt the need to reach into the stroller and touch her kids.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in the news like the other lady, but for a seriously different reason. Hopefully, DH will be with me though, and I'll let him let loose the crazy.

luciddreamer106 · June 2014

I'm not looking forward to this. My coworker did this with my last pregnancy (I was only about 6 weeks) and I just kinda backed up. I was shocked, so I didn't really think of anything to say. It's incredible how people treat pregnant women- no personal space and giving lots of unsolicited advice or judgement.

mmooki · June 2014

I did not want anyone touching me without my permission and I made it quite clear. however, there was a friends mom who did and it was one time. I think I jumped when she touched me so she knew I was a bit weirded out by it. My MIL tried and I said please don't touch me. Strangers never tried.

UberBiz · June 2014

I'm probably one of the only odd ones out on this in that I really don't mind people touching the belly. With that said, I don't think I've had to deal with that problem either way. People have always asked beforehand, and I've never had a stranger just come up to me and put their hands on my belly. Though I wouldn't mind if they did, especially if it was an elderly person. It's awesome when you can feel/see the baby moving, cuz then I'll be like, "Omg here, feel, feel!" I love it.

Sunflower9939 · June 2014

No one really touched my stomach last time. No strangers did. Mostly MIL being super awkward and other family would ask if they could feel her kicking and I'd let them. MIL literally wanted to just sit next to me and hold my stomach forever. It was creepy. I learned to move around and be chatty at gatherings to avoid her. If a stranger does ever try to touch my stomach I would totally be like, excuse me, please remove your hand.

jc51723 · June 2014

I never had too many people touch my belly last time except for DH (which was sweet) and a few close family members and friends. That didn't bother me. I never had any strangers touch my belly, I mean really how weird is that?! The one time that was really awkward was when I has just about to pop and FIL asked me if he could touch my belly and I said "Well it's not really that exciting" and he said "But it is beautiful" and just held his hand on my belly for the LONGEST few seconds ever! AWKWARD!!! That will not be happening again, it was just too weird.

UberBiz · June 2014

calindi said:

I don't relate to those who don't want their DHs touching their belly. It seriously melts my heart to have my DH rest his hand on my lower abdomen. Touch my boobs, though?! Not without permission, mister!

Agreed. I LOVE FI touching my belly, well, I love him touching me in general anyway, but I love that he loves my big ol' pregnant belly.

kaybeeknits · June 2014

I had a coworker touch my stomach in January when she asked if o was pregnant. No, bitch! That's just me. LOL

LadyXaverian · June 2014

I had 2 people touch my stomach without asking during my 1st pregnancy. One was a good friend and it was super early, so I made a joke about her rubbing my fat rolls. She was a little offended but got over it.

The other was a stranger. He sometimes worked in my school building, but he was with an outside maintenance company. He did it on 3 different occasions. The 3rd time he did it, I lost my cool with him and asked in an accusing voice, "Do I even know you?? No? Then please stop touching me." He walked away like an injured puppy. I almost reported him, but I decided to let it go, and well, he never came near me again after that.

atrinh11 · June 2014

I never had any strangers do this to me with my first. I did have some family members and friends do it though. For the most part, it never bothered me. If anyone did it this early in pregnancy, it would be super creepy though. Two of my brother-in-laws were super cute and came up to me all nervous at my baby shower and asked if they could touch my belly. I let them, and my baby kicked right when they did. It was pretty cool, and the look on their faces was priceless.

I really have no idea how I would react if a stranger ever tried, that is just weird to me.

aerotigergirl · June 2014

During my first pregnancy, my MIL wanted to touch my belly a lot. I was only 6 weeks at the time, so it was fully ridiculous, but the circumstances were difficult (we were around her for FIL's funeral) so I just let it slide. A couple of strangers at the funeral also touched my belly, which was super weird, but again, I just let it slide because we were at FIL's funeral and I didn't want to make things even more uncomfortable.

No one at work ever touched my belly. That would be the most awkward thing ever, I think. I think I could handle strangers on the street touching my belly more easily than I could if it were a colleague from the next aisle over.

It's weird, yes. But it didn't happen to me very often last time around. It's not something that I'd enjoy, but at the same time, people get excited about babies and sometimes forget that there are still boundaries. Maybe try to come up with a way to use humor to get the point across that you're uncomfortable being touched? Try to keep it in perspective, also, that this belly touch, while awkward and uncomfortable, isn't harming you or the baby, so it may not be worth getting up in arms about.

amiej1227 · June 2014

My DH touches my belly all the time and I'm just like yep just bloat but he doesn't care and I don't really either. No one else has so far and I hope it stays that way at least until it starts to move. I wouldn't mind my mom and family feeling it move but random strangers might get an earful.

BackseatDriver · June 2014

A couple people asked me if they could touch my stomach and I said yes in those few cases. Otherwise no one touched me. I think I must give off a hands off vibe.

rodiesmum · June 2014

So far for me it os just DDs DC teacher. Anyway im sure therell be lots of it soon.
Wasnt able to do much with the bellyrubbers of DD bec i come fr a culture where rubbing the belly of a prego woman brings a stroke of luck. But if it is a complete stranger i just outrightly say 'pls dont touch my tummy' and that just keeps them off guard

Pips09 · June 2014

I never really had this problem. I think one coworker touched my belly when I was pregnant last time. I definitely didn't have hordes of people trying to feel me up, and I would not be Ok with that.

efujan · June 2014

I really dislike/disliked other people touching my belly when I'm pregnant. I just don't understand why some people (especially complete strangers) think you being pregnant is an open invitation to touch your belly. I only let a few people really close to me feel the baby. My parents, DH, my sister (she had me feel my nieces kick when she was pregnant, I wanted her feel her nephew kicking!), and my nieces (8 & 6 & fascinated since it was going to be their cousin).

During my first pregnancy, I had quite a few people ask if they could touch my belly (acquaintances, not close friends - which I think is weird) & I said no I wasn't comfortable with people touching my belly. They seemed to understand & moved on.

I had 2 people that touched/tried to touch without permission. One was a co-worker (lady) who right after I started letting people at work know I was expecting, she just kind of bum-rushed me & it totally caught me off guard. I seized up, then grabbed her hand & removed it. She apologized for creeping me out. That's not normal for her, either, so I got over it, too. Then she made me a bunch of receiving blankets for the baby for my work shower.

The other was a (kind of weird) male co-worker who's not even in my department/area. He's in a totally different part of the building from us. He saw my obviously preggo belly & was just like "oh!" and started reaching for my bump. I was out walking the factory floor with my boss & it was SUPER awkward, but I just pretty forcefully said "no - not cool!!" & took 2 huge steps back away from him (again, all this with my boss 3 feet away from me. I'm just glad I didn't swear!!) My boss was pretty great about it - he asked if that had happened before & if I wanted to have HR address that with anyone, but I shook it off & we moved our convo back to work.

SebsMum · June 2014

I didn't really mind last time because my uterus was so far out from my normal body that it felt like they were touching the baby and not my stomach. People were always so respectful about asking as well. I had been a bit worried beforehand, because I am not a touchy-feely sort of person, but it was fine.

I did have a bunch of teammates stroke my flab when I first announced why I was off-skates, which was weird, but we play a contact sport and our boundaries are all over the place. :P

mellie86041 · June 2014

With my first, the only people who ever touched the belly were DH, my mom, and DH's best friend. (He said he wanted to feel what a kick felt like, and then was totally freaked out by it.)

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