Intro and hoping to stay (live child mentioned)

minni_ash · June 2014

Hi,

I have been lurking on this page for a little while now hoping I could join soon and I got a surprise positive today. It was very faint but hey, a positive is a positive right? I miscarried on May 14, exactly 1 month ago. I was 9 weeks pregnant. I had serious doubts about the pregnancy because I wasn't feeling sick. I was extremely sick with my daughter who is 18 months now. I just sort of had this feeling in the back of my head that baby number 2 just wasn't going to work out. So here I am, pregnant with baby #3. I am guessing I am 4 weeks. Had my hcg level tested last Monday and it was normal.

Anyway, I started noticing a little brown spotting when I wiped this afternoon. It went away and then returned this evening. The spotting isn't on my panty liner, just on the toilet paper. I also have slight cramping, but I think the cramping is normal. After going through the miscarriage, seeing any brown or red spotting on the toilet paper makes me sick because it reminds me of the miscarriage. (I haven't had any red yet, thank goodness!) Any thoughts on this? I was reading that brown blood means old blood and that it could be from implantation and is old and is just now appearing. I really hope this is true.

I haven't told my husband yet and was going to let my daughter give him his homemade fathers day card from her and "baby" tomorrow, but I feel like I would feel really bad if I did that and then miscarried again, but I love the thought of that because it will take him totally by surprise.

PGAL brain is going to be really tough to handle. I was so naïve through my first pregnancy. Ignorance is definitely bliss is this case.

Thanks for listening. Any tips/advice would be great. Hoping to get to know you all on here over my next 9 months!

[Deleted User] · June 2014

Congrats! Any spotting is scary. It's hard to know at this point if it's nothing or not, and I know how stressful that is. *hugs*

jess123456 · June 2014

Congrats!! Being pregnant after loss is really hard but please know that you aren't alone. If you are concerned about the spotting give your doctor a call but I do know that I have read about plenty of women on this board who experience this in early pregnancy. I know especially at first the thought of nine more months seems incredibly scary but what has helped me is to make small goals for us like getting to 12 weeks and then 20 weeks and so on (I'm at 19 weeks today so slowly making my way through) or you could even make your milestones smaller. Also coming back to this board and reading and sharing with the ladies here helps a lot too. Big hugs to you. Remember that just because it ended sadly before doesn't mean it will this time.

MrsTuna08 · June 2014

Congrats and Welcome! I had a couple episodes of brown spotting with this pregnancy and I had cramping for most of the first tri on and off. ((hugs)) It is terrifying. Mantras helped me quite a bit; I especially like: worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its joy. The only other thing that helped significantly was time passing. Best wishes for a H&H 9 months!

haleyusf · June 2014

Welcome and congratulations!

Samuelismomma · June 2014

Welcome and congrats! Maybe you can call your Dr tomorrow and get levels done to put your mind at ease? I know pgal brain is the worse:(

MrsHamon09 · June 2014

Congrats and welcome. T&P the spotting us nothing.

JCM285 · June 2014

Welcome to the board and congrats!

minni_ash · June 2014

Thanks ladies. I started bleeding today and now am seeing some clots like when I get my period. So I am pretty sure this isn't good news. I also have this fear of going to the dr. again and having them give me bad news all over again. If I would have only waited 1 more day to test, I would have avoided all of this.

Hope to be back again soon.

dawnstar898 · June 2014

***lurking***
First off, I am so sorry for your loss. Did your betas from your 1st pregnancy get tracked back to zero? The time between your miscarriage and BFP is very short, are you sure this is a new pregnancy and not left over hormone from the first one? Not trying to be a pain, just trying to save you some heartache if possible.